Delivery disagreement

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2012
Delivery disagreement
3
Sat, 02-02-2013 - 8:55pm

This morning I found out that my fiance has no intentions on cutting the baby's umbilical cord, which completely shocked me. I cant help but to be totally upset and cry about it.  First he didnt want to watch the birth and he said he felt much more comfortable being up at my head helping me through, which was fine with me.  Would I rather him want to be in the action? of course. but i completely understand if he does not feel up to it.  Last thing I want is for him to pass out during delivery.  That I could get over, but this... I cant seem to shake.   He says the thought of cutting it makes him queezy. My initial reaction was pretty much a what is wrong with you, which I apologized for, that was un called for.  But to not want to be apart of the birthing experience at all? its killing me.  I brought this up to him and he said he is going to be apart of it and he wants to help me through and be the first one to hold the baby, but that no one should make him feel bad about not choosing to cut the cord.  I agree, and I dont want to make him feel bad about his decisions, but it really is hurting me. I dont know how to just accept his decision.  I'm hurt for our bonding experience as a couple, as well as for christopher's bonding experience with his dad.  I wish he would just try to muscle through it, its only a one time chance. :(... the whole thing is just upsetting me.   Anyway, thanks for listening to my rant! 

Community Leader
Registered: 01-22-2010
Sun, 02-03-2013 - 12:58pm

I'm sorry your DHs decision is upsettin you so much. I think while a woman is pg she should be able to make all decisions coz men just don't understand a woman's point of view on anything ever, hormones or not! There's always the chance he will change his mind at the time, I hope you are able to come to terms with whatever happens and it doesn't ruin havin your little boy *hugs*

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2010
Mon, 02-04-2013 - 2:35pm

My DH was like this. I think he was mainly scared that he would pass out or something. He said he didn't want to look down there or cut the cord. I didn't like it but understood. When it came time for delivery he saw everything. There was no way around it and when they offered for him to cut the cord he did. I think in the moment a lot change their mind. I think the emotions get to them. Hope this will happen to your DH as well.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2012
Mon, 02-04-2013 - 10:53pm

We talked about it the next day and had a much better conversation.  I think it was a mix of my pregnancy emotions, the shock of his reaction, and my reaction to him that turned the conversation south.  The fact I wasn't very understanding about it at first made him have a "you cant make me" attitude.  Later we talked and I asked if he could try and if in the moment its too uncomfortable I will understand.  He agreed. He's nervous about throwing up on the baby (which I said would make for a great story at his 16th birthday LOL).  He said he will try because he knows how important it is to me, and I'm glad we were able to talk and come to an understanding of eachother's feelings.