Depression (repost from pg after IVF)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2009
Depression (repost from pg after IVF)
4
Sun, 11-18-2012 - 7:34pm

Hey guys, I'm currently 24 weeks pg with twins following 11 IUIs, 3 IVFs and 5 losses. I would have punched myself had I know when trying to conceive that I wouldn't be blissfully happy with being pregnant no matter what...but truthfully I have been feeling a lot of depression and feeling overwhelmed. Mostly I still feel like I'm just waiting for the big let down (again, bc that's all I've known) and them I swing into feeling completely not prepared to have two babies. I read online it's very common to have depression following IVF/losses during a successful pregnancy, but I can't help feeling like a fool for feeling like this. Has anyone else gone through this? It's not every day, but I feel like its pretty often. I just want to know I'm not alone.

-Jamie

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2010
Mon, 11-19-2012 - 3:50am

I'm so sorry you're feelin so depressed. You've had quite a journey! After so much disappointment, it isn't surprisin that you are waitin to be let down again, I've only suffered one loss but I still have moments of complete panic when I feel sure everythin is gonna go wrong and I won't get a baby at the end of this. 

I imagine anyone having twins, despite their history, must fly between utter excitement at the thought of 2 babies to utter panic at the same thought! But if you are strong enough to cope with all that you have been through, I am sure you are strong enough to look after 2 babies. 

The way you are feelin certainly does not make you a fool, it just makes you a normal pregnant woman goin thru a massive change in your life. I hope the depression lets up a bit and you are able to enjoy your pregnancy, it's such a special time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2009
Mon, 11-19-2012 - 6:25pm
Thanks for your reply. I'm feeling better today. I think I was just feeling especially overwhelmed yesterday.

-Jamie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2009
Tue, 11-20-2012 - 5:16pm

I just realized my whole signature is gone. I had all my dates, HCG numbers etc. Did everyone lose their signature when they converted???

-Jamie

Avatar for cowboys_grl
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2010
Thu, 11-22-2012 - 10:08am

hi Jaime, yeah, all the signatures were lost in transition.

I am sorry for all you've been through......you 'think' that being pregnant is all wonderful, but it really isn't when you've already experienced so many losses!! So, I would think your feelings atre very normal.

When I was blessed to be pregnant with DD (14 years ago).....I had absolutely no problems, it was the most peaceful, boring and amazing time!  So, naturally, I thought that getting pg. now would be the same....WRONG!!

Now, 3 losses later, I don't ever want to get pg. again! This past year, has been soooooo tough, and sad!! And I am not strong enough to continue trying.

So, I admire you, for all you've been through and your courage to keep going! Just continue to take each day, as it comes and don't burden yourself with 'what if' and that everything needs to be figured out right now.  You are doing fine & will continue to do so....you just have PTSD of pregnancy losses.  But this time is totally different....hugs!  Wink

Kiki (hit my magic age of 45 and no longer TTC),but mom to a beautiful teen DD & 2 angels in heaven & married to my best friend