Hi all & huge concern

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2010
Hi all & huge concern
5
Fri, 02-01-2013 - 11:09am

                Hi all! I’m Mellissa (33) I have one living son Alex (8). I am married to Will(37).

                We had a baby born by induction at 21 weeks, Matthew, because his heart stopped in 2010; reason unknown. Then the 2012 I got pregnant again of course with no reason for Matthew to die they said everything would be fine. And it wasn’t that baby died at 13 weeks; another boy, Elijah. Still reason unknown. And now I’m pregnant with #4 due Sept 26th! And of course like any mother I have looked and looked for a reason that Matthew and Elijah passed. And I fell once during each pregnancy now I’m convinced that’s why they died.  

                That brings me to this morning I fell down 2 stairs because of ice. This is the 2ndicing we have had I was being so careful. My butt is sooo busied all black and blue in a line from the steps. My 8 year old was with me when I fell I got up and when straight back inside a preceded to the bathroom to cry because I am now 100% convinced this baby is dead too. Poor little guy came to the bathroom door and said “I can hear you crying, does it hurt that bad?” I wanted to say “No, but my heart does” of course I just opened the bathroom door showed him my scraped hand and said it stung that’s why I was crying.

                This sucks! I haven’t called the doctor I know what they will say. I didn’t fall on my belly and I’m only 6 weeks along. And really as much as I would want them to get in there and perform fetus CPR J they can’t do anything. I don’t have any spotting or cramping. But with both Matthew and Elijah I didn’t either. Both of them I went in for a routine ultrasounds and they didn’t have heartbeats. I have a early ultrasound for viability at 7.5 on the 12th.

                Sorry it bum everybody out with this post. I just haven’t told anybody but DH and can’t talk to anybody about it. Or let them know why I’m being such a B today J

Mellissa

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2010
Fri, 02-01-2013 - 11:10am
WOW that's Matthews ticker :(

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2010
Fri, 02-01-2013 - 11:13am

.

 

Community Leader
Registered: 01-22-2010
Sat, 02-02-2013 - 4:31pm

Congratulations on your pregnancy, I'm so sorry for your losses and that this pg is causin you so much anxiety already. I know we always want to find a reason for our losses but it's very unlikely that your falls caused your previous losses or that this fall will cause you to have another loss. Carrying a baby is like having a jar of water with an egg in it, no matter how hard you shake the jar it would be extremely difficult to cause any damage to the egg. I hope the next couple of weeks go quickly until you get your scan for reassurance, please KUP and feel free to come here for a rant at any time *hugs*

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2012
Sat, 02-02-2013 - 9:13pm

First let me say congratulations on your pregnancy! After having losses, pregnancy can be so scary as we all just want to hold our little ones even faster.  As for the fall, I would go to the emergency room if you want to be checked.  Thats what I eventually started doing because many times on the phone the doctor will say its no big deal because they deal with so many prengnat women, but in the ER they are usually more ready to check you out, especially when you tell them about your history.  They get paid to make sure you and your little one are okay.  Sending you many prayers and healthy 9 month vibes :).  Please keep us updated!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2010
Sat, 02-02-2013 - 11:58pm

<p>Thank you guys for the kind words. I feel better about the fall now. I'm still not very hopefully but I do have some hope agian. I was trying treat this pregnancy like I had never had any losses. Being excited, thinking of names, etc. I even looked online at some cute baby clothes. With Elijah I just tried not to think about being pregnant but it didn't make it any easier when he died. I thought about going to the ER but the whole city got iced and I'm sure the ER was full if ice injuries. I ordered a doppler as soon as I found out and it came. Of course I'm not far enough along to hear anything but I can get glimpes of 130-147 heartbeat. It's probably just me moving it too fast but it's hope :) Thank you ladies agian! I'll keep you updated I'm sure I'll be back to whine some more :)