OT advice please same as EC

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2008
OT advice please same as EC
Mon, 04-25-2011 - 2:17pm


My sweet baby boys Josh and Jesse were born into the arms of Jesus on January 11th 2008. They will always be missed and remain living in my heart forever!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2007
Mon, 04-25-2011 - 2:41pm
I'm so sorry for your losses Katie. It's hard for moms sometimes, I think. They really want to help us "feel better", and if they haven't experienced what we have then they don't really know how. It sounds like your mom might be trying to get you to "snap" out of it, and feel the joy that she probably felt when she was pregnant. I don't know if there's a way to explain to her that you are still hurting, and that losing 2 children changes your life. But that you still love your baby boy very much.

Once he's here, you'll be less afraid. Maybe you can suggest that you do these crafts for him once he's here and you can truly appreciate the joy of your new baby.
Lilypie First Birthday tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2007
Tue, 04-26-2011 - 11:42am

Katie I do not think anyone that has not been in your shoes can understand how you must feel. I am sure your feeling are even diffrent from some that have been in your shoes. I am sorry your mom is not supportive of letting you handle you your grief in the way you need to. Maybe if you find something on line that explains some of what you are going through and just send her a link it may help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2009
Sat, 04-30-2011 - 4:49pm
((big hugs)) I'm so very sorry for your losses. It sounds like your mom just doesn't know what to do or say, and unless she's been through what you have, there's no way for her to understand. I find it difficult talking to my mom about my pregnancy, and even during our ttc journey, because she never had to try and never experienced any losses. She always tells me to "think positive" and that she "prays for me", but that doesn't take away what we've been through and there's no way for her to get it. The PAL brain is unique and even when you are pregnant, there's no feeling of stability until you're healthy baby is in your arms. I don't think there's an easy answer to this. Can you remove yourself from being around her as often?
Photobucket Forever Missing Our Angels ~ May 2010 ~ August 2010 ~ October 2010