A tough few days coming...
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|Fri, 10-21-2011 - 10:21am|
I'm getting so nervous. I've got a tough few days coming up... dh's birthday is tomorrow and I haven't gotten him anything, I don't know what to get him. Sunday I'll be 35 weeks, Landon's heart stopped beating at 35 weeks, just before 5pm. Monday will be 35w1d, and that's when Landon was born. I'm so nervous. I had an NST yesterday that left me with questions. They said it was good and I passed, but they were so rushed, she never took my bp, she forgot to give me the button to push, the machine ran out of paper about 8 minutes in, they were so busy yesterday, they put me in the u/s room for my NST because the NST room was full of ladies laboring and even delivering because the delivery rooms were all full. The nurse was very rushed, I left feeling a bit uncomfortable and dissatisfied, tried to call my ob's office to see if I could come in for a quick fetal heart tone check and they were closed due to no power.
Jaxon is moving around well this morning so he alone is keeping me sane at this point. I love when he's moving, I just hate that my mind keeps floating back around to "what if he dies"... what if he dies like his brother did... it's a tough thing to think of. What if all of this ends like last time, an entire pregnancy, all kinds of newborn things, all these emotions, what if they all end up buried in the ground... like last time. I can't handle that again. I need this one to live.