A tough few days coming...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2010
A tough few days coming...
Fri, 10-21-2011 - 10:21am

I'm getting so nervous. I've got a tough few days coming up... dh's birthday is tomorrow and I haven't gotten him anything, I don't know what to get him. Sunday I'll be 35 weeks, Landon's heart stopped beating at 35 weeks, just before 5pm. Monday will be 35w1d, and that's when Landon was born. I'm so nervous. I had an NST yesterday that left me with questions. They said it was good and I passed, but they were so rushed, she never took my bp, she forgot to give me the button to push, the machine ran out of paper about 8 minutes in, they were so busy yesterday, they put me in the u/s room for my NST because the NST room was full of ladies laboring and even delivering because the delivery rooms were all full. The nurse was very rushed, I left feeling a bit uncomfortable and dissatisfied, tried to call my ob's office to see if I could come in for a quick fetal heart tone check and they were closed due to no power.

Jaxon is moving around well this morning so he alone is keeping me sane at this point. I love when he's moving, I just hate that my mind keeps floating back around to "what if he dies"... what if he dies like his brother did... it's a tough thing to think of. What if all of this ends like last time, an entire pregnancy, all kinds of newborn things, all these emotions, what if they all end up buried in the ground... like last time. I can't handle that again. I need this one to live.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2008
Fri, 10-21-2011 - 11:17am
((Hugs)) I'm so sorry, I can't imagine what you're going through. Unfortunately I have no advice, just P& PT that you can get through the weekend and Jaxon moves around a whole lot to give you a little comfort.

Mom to DS, July 2009
Expecting our little girl after three m/c - EDD 11/29/12

Avatar for dani_d
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-1998
Fri, 10-21-2011 - 12:13pm

Oh sweetie, I can't even imagine the angst you're going through right now, with the date coming up really soon. All you can really do is take it one day at a time. Maybe purposely go out and do something that day to try and take your mind off of it...if that's possible.

Community Leader
Registered: 01-22-2010
Fri, 10-21-2011 - 1:15pm

I was thinkin the date must be comin up. I'm sorry your appt was so rushed, i can't imagine it offered you much reassurance. When is your next appt?

I hope Jaxon stays nice n busy the next few days especially to help your anxiety levels. I'll be thinkin about you. If you need to vent you know we are here *hugs*

 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2010
Fri, 10-21-2011 - 1:16pm

I just wanted you to know I am sending my prayers for you and I'm sure you and your baby will be just fine! I too have been having horrible thoughts lately and I know what that is like.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2007
Fri, 10-21-2011 - 1:39pm
((Torie)) Oh my goodness I wish I could come to you and give you a real hug. I'll be praying for you. I really think this time is different. You've been monitored so closely this time, and your OB seems determined not to let this happen again. Hang on to Jaxon. You know what to look for this time. ((BIG Hugs))
Lilypie First Birthday tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2006
Fri, 10-21-2011 - 5:16pm
((((((((((HUGS))))))))))) and praying through the next few days.

Avatar for vegiemama
Community Leader
Registered: 01-06-2000
Fri, 10-21-2011 - 5:23pm
{{{TORIE}}}} sending lots of hugs and positive thoughts your way. My coffee offer (or dinner!) still stands, if you decide to take in Annie on Sunday. It would definitely take your mind off things and give you some laughs. Not the coffee, LOL ;-) I know how hard it is to get past the "hurdle times" but remember, God cares and so do lots of your friends. You're surrounded by love, and you in turn surround Jaxon with love. Hang in there and before you know it, November will be here.

Homeschooling mom to DD15 & DS11

CL of Homeschooling, Signature Showcase, Ectopic Loss, and Fertility Charting

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2010
Fri, 10-21-2011 - 5:38pm
HUGS, Im sure this is extremely difficult for you. I'm glad jaxon is helping to reassure you. I feel in my heart that he is gonna live and be a healthy little boy. I pray for you all the time and hope that the next couple days fly by. Hopefully you can get in to see the doc soon to ease your fears. HUGS!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2009
Fri, 10-21-2011 - 5:42pm

Torie, I'll be thinking and praying for you the next few weeks. I hope that this weekend flies by and Jaxon moves a bunch so you don't have to worry too much.

Lee, Mommy to DD Noelle born January 2010. BFP in February 2011, lost pregnancy at 10 weeks in April 2011. BFP in August 2011, hopeful and happy to be expecting our baby due May 9, 2012.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2010
Fri, 10-21-2011 - 6:45pm
Thanks ladies :)

I'm doing ok right now, Jaxon has been moving well all day and I've been chillin on the couch :D

Plus I got my call that they got us officially on the schedule.. 11.1.11 @ 1 is our amnio followed by induction if mature. That made me feel great knowing we're actually on.

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