Never thought I'd be here!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2012
Never thought I'd be here!
7
Sun, 01-20-2013 - 5:45pm

Hi girls, 

My name is Krista and I am 6 week pregnant.  I am an "older" mom (40), DH is 43 and we have four boys 6, 8, 11, 13.  In April, we lost our 5th boy, Will, at 14 weeks in the pregnancy due to Trisomy 18.  His pregnancy was a surprise as we both felt our family was complete, but we quickly became excited to have a baby in the house again.  My boys were ecstatic about the new baby, and just devastated when we lost him.  DH and I TTC following Will's loss and gave ourselves a "deadline" of his due date in October.  I found out I was pregnant our last month of trying, but only had a few days of excitement before I miscarried.  That was it.  I decided that was God's sign that we were finished and we stopped TTC. I was once again at peace with our family being complete, especially with the odds I faced of another baby with trisomy.  In the beginning of January, we went on a family cruise to Mexico and returned to discover that I was pregnant.  How could this happen after so many months of "perfect" timing, watching for O, temping, charting, etc., and never getting a keeper?  Once again, we are surprised.  Because of my pregnancy with Will, I don't have that pregnancy "bliss", in fact I am terrified to be pregnant again, especially at my age and with our increased risk for a baby with problems.  I have my first u/s on Tuesday, January 29th and am scared to death.  Will there be a heartbeat?  If so, will the pregnancy continue normally?  Or will I face more problems at the 12 week scan?  It is all overwhelming, so I am trying to just take one day at a time.  My current goal is to just make it to the 29th and go from there!  And I keep telling myself to breatheWink  It's so nice to have a place to chat with other women in the same boat.  Nobody knows we are pregnant and we plan on not telling until after we get past the point of where we lost Will.  That seems like eons from now....

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2007
Sun, 01-20-2013 - 6:51pm
Hi and welcome! I have found after many miscarriages that the pregnancy joy isn't quite there anymore. However, it does not mean that this pregnancy will not be successful. Take everything in little steps. I sincerely wish you a happy and healthy 9 months and beyond.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2007
Sun, 01-20-2013 - 6:51pm
Hi and welcome! I have found after many miscarriages that the pregnancy joy isn't quite there anymore. However, it does not mean that this pregnancy will not be successful. Take everything in little steps. I sincerely wish you a happy and healthy 9 months and beyond.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2007
Sun, 01-20-2013 - 6:52pm
Hi and welcome! I have found after many miscarriages that the pregnancy joy isn't quite there anymore. However, it does not mean that this pregnancy will not be successful. Take everything in little steps. I sincerely wish you a happy and healthy 9 months and beyond.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2010
Mon, 01-21-2013 - 3:12am

Congratulations on your BFP! We all know here what the fear is like at the start of a new pregnancy after a loss so feel free to vent all you need to and share every nervous thought you have and we'll try to keep you sane until you start to feel more settled into this pregnancy. Welcome to the board!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2010
Mon, 01-21-2013 - 2:52pm

Congrats on your BFP. So sorry for your losses. It's so hard to enjoy being pregnant but everyone is different. Try and remind yourself of that and it will help get you to the 29th. Taking it one day at a time is how I get through it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2012
Mon, 01-21-2013 - 8:00pm

Congrats on your BFP! the first trimester is so scary after a loss, it makes it feel like a whole pregnancy itself.  We're all here for you! Praying for a happy healthy 9 months for you! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2012
Tue, 01-22-2013 - 11:59am

Thank you so much ladies!  It means a lot to have a place to come with my concerns and fears--and hopefully good news down the road.  

Krista

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers