4 years, 4 months pregnant, alone, sad

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2010
4 years, 4 months pregnant, alone, sad
2
Sat, 05-22-2010 - 8:47pm

my story, not uncommon, but everyday i have the same reaction, i cant believe this is happening to me.


my boyfriend of four years cheated on me, getting this girl pregnant last year. shes due in like july or something. then gets me pregnant right afterwards... i love the guy. with all of my everything. i would in a heartbeat, drop anything for him. my pathetic commitment to him has driven me insane cuz now all i am faced with is rejection. i am only 19. i am not ready to be a mom. i have alot of problems of my own. problems that my ex used to listen to, even try and help. now he wont talk to me. and i feel so alone, rejected, and heartbroken. he, after being with me for the entire pregnancy (i am 4 months) tells me the other day he still has feelings for the other girl, and he doesn't love me. anytime i try and talk to him about anything, seriously anything that involves my feelings, he just argues and accuses me of starting drama "like i always do" from writing this i can see alot of my mistakes. letting him win the arguments he sets up himself, and taking his hipocracy. but the thing is, he is my best friend, my world, my everything and i still try and make it work with him even when hes yelling at me to leave. i dont know whats wrong with me, i am just toooo f ing sad and miserable when he is not mine, even more so now because he also has another chick... how do i let go? do i have to quit loving him? why? why should i have to stop love, something that makes me sooo happy when he accepts it. i love to love him. and without that love release, it all just turns into misery, and sorrow. i have no idea what the hell to do. i dont want to raise this baby alone!!!! :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2010
Wed, 05-26-2010 - 10:49am

You will not like what I have to say! I have been there and done that relationship before. I finally had to pull up my big girl panties and stand up for me and my child. I decided that my happiness was more important then anyone else! If I wasn't happy my child was not happy!

You have to decide for yourself what will make you happy! I can not tell you to do anything because you wont listen anyway! I know I've been 19! LOL It's ok! Know that you are fine, the baby is fine and you can do this! You are a wonderful person and remember you are carrying a wonderful person inside of you that is way more important then this man! Focus on what you are grateful for (even the small things-start with you are breathing and alive), your baby, and yourself!

Find new friends to talk to, talk to your family (if you can). Slowly, he will work his way out of your focus, out of your mind! These are the things that I did for myself to break away from my 5 yr old's father. I still love him and care about him BUT 1. I'm more important and 2. It's from afar and he doesn't know!

I'm at peace in my life and I pray that you will also find the peace that you are looking for!!
You are Loved!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2010
Wed, 05-26-2010 - 10:40pm

well. i had to read over that a few times. i need advice, i need to listen to it... and i am really appreciate the reply.


its only been a couple days. five. since i heard from him. at this point i am just scared of the reasons why he wont talk to me. i know the reality is hard. i know hes going thru alot, but he created this situation. and now he is hiding from it. why is he doing this?