its too much to handle sometimes

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2010
its too much to handle sometimes
3
Wed, 06-30-2010 - 5:53pm

Hi, just signed up :) im 25 and 8 weeks.

SO my story is....i had a boyfriend of a year...it was amazing bliss for 6 months...then somewhere after he tried to control and change my life things got worse between us. we lived together..and were taking things pretty seriously....the first man i ever considered marriage and kids with. well it all came to a bitter end a little over 2 months ago... he actually achieved changing me and breaking me down to where i was jobless, carless, and i was losing my mind. he then left me (after i broke up with him) and stole my things and left me to live with another girl with a whole month of rent to pay for shortly before the 1st of the month, so i eventually lost my apartment as well. i met a guy, right before he moved out (while still broken up) ...who was supposed to be a fling... and it lasted for about 2 weeks before i was over my rebound, and what sent my ex completely over the edge.
it had been a month and i talked to him still but i was just about to blow this new guy off, when... yep, i found out i was pregnant, and it could only be his.
when i told him he was less than supportive. he wanted me to abort the baby. at first i considered the option, because i had nothing, how could i raise a baby? no car no job no place to live and in a terrible state of mind due to a horrible breakup...plus..i barely knew this guy and wasn't even into him anymore!
his lack of interest made me further unattracted to him and i then started to think i dont even want him around ...i can do this on my own. i dont wanna date him, id just like him to "be a father" ...he may or may not even do that. i moved out of state and decided to continue the pregnancy.
i soon got the support of my family, and am blessed to have them helping me get the insurance and all the things i need for my new baby.
im now almost 9 weeks... im excited ..but still get scared often. like im ok now..but in 7 months?...in one year? how will i feel? will he come around? am i going to be able to juggle a job and parenting, when im only 25 and i dont wanna be stuck in a low pay job or welfare forever..i had dreams i was following before this..
and all i can think about is my past, what i had when it was good, the shock of a new life, the loss of all i had, and the fact i am pregnant and single.....
im lonely and i miss having love, and a man...i fear it will be hard to meet someone while pregnant..and then after when im i single mom. but most of all right now im lonely!... i know its not the most important thing, but i cannot go another 7 months without the lust or love of a man, ill go crazy.

i had to vent because i need positive feedback... everyday i cry because one little thing sets me off, and its normally negative or irrelevant ...
i want hope from women who have been though similar things...
or words of advice..

xo

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 1:03pm

(((HUGS))) I'm sorry you are going through so much right now, and it doesn't help to have the pregnancy hormones making it worse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2010
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 2:54pm

Hey-so I read your story and I had to write to you bacause I can more than relate to your story. I guess I can start by telling you mine:


I am 26 years old and just got out of a 7 year relationship in March this year. I too was trying to re-bound for the sake of not getting hurt first. I had lost my job 2 weeks after my break-up became official so I was jobless and broken. I found myself being attracted to someone who was also jobless and broken for different reaseons. We connected or so I thought and the first time we got 'together' I got pregnant. I am still nowhere near over my ex whom I love with all my heart but now I am carrying another man's child. I found out a lot of things about the father that made me freak out to say the least. I am one of 4 woman that he has children with (he's 30) and

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2010
Sun, 07-04-2010 - 9:32pm

Sorry to hear about your situation, but I totally understand what you're going through.

I'm currently 9 weeks pregnant, and I'm also single. I recently found out the man I'm pregnant by, which use to be my best friend, has been lying to me about everything under the sun. I don't understand why I had to find out he was scum after 7 years and after I was pregnant. I too went back and forth with having a abortion, and still at times am on the fence.

I currently don't have a job and I'm struggling as well. It's a very scary situation, but we have to remember if we keep striving, it will only be a temporary situation. I know so many people who couldn't find their soul mates before they had kids, but after. So, finding love won't be a problem. I wouldn't worry about dating if I was you, because getting on your feet and your baby should be your main focus.