Just one of those days

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2010
Just one of those days
7
Sat, 02-27-2010 - 1:40pm
Its just one of those days where I wanna stand in a hot shower and forget my worries. Too bad the water went cold in 10 min. Even indulge myself in some sugar...too bad my feet will swell like a blown up latex glove. I just want to lay my head on my own lap and cry and have myself tell me that everything will be ok. Im so sorry to my little one who shall be here in 4weeks. This is not how I wanted things for you. I am a very strong woman but it hurts. It hurts to know the father does not care...it hurts that I am broke...it hurts my boss is trying to make my life a living hell these last few weeks....it hurts that people in this world can hurt someone so bad and not care at all. All my mother can say is " i really wanna see you stay at your job until your due date". Is it worth it? Always sad and stressed by the end of the day. I really wanted these last few weeks to be calm. I wish my lil man was here all ready so these tears could be tears of joy than sadness. Of course im really excited and nervous but its hard to keep it together these last few weeks. I dont wanna feel the pain of what the father has done to me...leaving me abandoned and taking advantage of my feelings and my heart, my love, my energy. BLASTED HORMONES! lol one day im up the next I am down. Gosh i would luv a lovely glass of red wine right now....lol Tyra should do a show on pregnant and single woman and what we go through. But yet a man still would not get it unless the situation were actually switched.I so could go for a soft pretzel from the mall right now. sorry im hungry. I gotta tell ya though ladies writing on here really helps me feel better. I am greatful for what I have I know it could be worse but that doesnt mean I dont have sad days. I wish I could just hug all of you who are going through the same thing. Reading some of the other stories makes me sad ....Sad to know so many other woman out there are hurting. flowers to all of you -----{----@
Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Thu, 03-04-2010 - 4:46pm
I just wanted to send you some (((HUGS))), how are you doing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2010
Thu, 03-04-2010 - 9:49pm
I feel like this too. I wish I could just get drunk like I used to to just forget about my life. But I cant. Plus, I gave up that life the moment I
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2008
Fri, 03-05-2010 - 7:24pm
I am having one of those weeks. When I read your message it made me feel better it's not just me. I'm so tired of everyone telling to stop feeling bad and enjoy my pregnancy. None of those people know how it feels to have a man I have been with for 2 and half years not care and abandon me and my baby. When I say that to him he says he doesn't want a baby and that's all. It makes me so sad and upset and I feel so used by him. I'm excited to be a mother but I end up crying almost every day because something will remind me that I'm doing this alone and it hurts. This message board has been my greatest comfort. At least I know I'm not the only one doing this. I hope I feel happy again someday because these days I'm feeling so down on myself and my situation. I feel like I will be alone with my baby forever. I don't think I will ever trust a man again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2010
Fri, 03-05-2010 - 11:55pm
Thank you melissa for the hugz I need them :) im doing much better now. Sometimes just have one of those days of being emotional but it helps to get through it. I hope you have a wonderful day :) thank u again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2010
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 12:04am
I know how you feel statistic. Dont let the anger consume you..it will only destroy you. Your giving him too much power thats what I realized with my ex. He didnt deserve me thinking about him and being angry he took enough of me already I wasnt gonna let him take anymore. I felt better when in my heart i forgave him but I'll never forget ever! I can say at one time I did luv him and out of that luv I created a beautiful thing. but I cant say it doesnt hurt...they say someone abandoning you is like someone dying..its a loss. and like any loss we gotta go through he pain.Dont let him take ur energy or power. He doesnt deserve it. :) *hugz*
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2010
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 12:13am
Yes trust has definitly dropped for me london. It does suck that no one really understands. It makes me nuts when people say "oh you just gotta be happy about the baby" . welll duh im not mad it just would be nice to have support of someone not family...someone to have that intimate connection with. I find it amusing these men say " I just dont want a baby" but they definitly wanted to have sex didnt they? the first id so ohh 7months were a rollercoaster of emotions for me. but i have 3 weeks left and its like my brain is focused on being as best as i can be emotionally for this baby becuz he will need me 100% and i wont do to him as the father has done to me. In fact the father just text me out of the blue 2 days ago saying "god I miss you" i replied with "you are a disease please leave me alone" and he says he will but i doubt im that lucky...it took alot for me not to get sucked back into his crap but it feels so great to take a stand and get my power back from him. It will get better...but youll still have days of being down and its ok becuz if you didnt there would be a problem. Get as much out as you can it helps. *hugz* I hope you feel better..and thanks for writing we women gotta help eachother :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2010
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 1:38am
Thanks, and I agree,,, but about the whole loss and death feeling thing, it actually would be easier to go thru this if he did die instead.
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