New to all this and freaking out..

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2011
New to all this and freaking out..
4
Tue, 03-15-2011 - 4:09pm

Hey girls, just found out a week ago that I¨m pregnant. Total shock as I am on the implant and broke up with my ex a month ago after just a fairly casual 3 month relationship. I¨m 33 and in a good job with mat leave and a nice supportive family so of course I thought I am keeping it but my emotions this week are out of control from complete euphoria to total panic that my life is over. I have friends with babies but all married and talking to them would just make me feel either jealous or sad that I am not in that cozy family situation. I hit a low this evening even googling abortion but I don´t think that is the right option for me.Having a bad day and absolutely terrified of what´s ahead of me, so used to my freedom and really feeling ready to find someone and settle down but now worried that being a single mum in my 30s that will completely elude me, such a selfish concern I know. And then other days I cannot wait and am really happy....Is all this hormonal or situational and does it calm down after a while??? Good to know I¨m not the only one going through it....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2011
Tue, 03-15-2011 - 6:28pm
I am in the same situation. I am 31, 10 weeks pregnant and single. I too was soo happy and used to living the independent single life, only having to worry about myself. I went back and forth with the idea of abortion..but after seeing the babys heartbeat on an ultrasound that they make you do before an abortion, i changed my mind. I knew having the abortion would be more traumatizing then having the child..stay strong, and if you want to email me personally i can give you my email address just let me know. Its hard, and trust me it sucks having to stay home and not go out and party like i used to..but i just tell myself i can still have a life again after the baby is born (a different one) lol but still a life..and i will probably b so glad once the baby is here that i made the right decision..all of my friends with kids are married too, but whos to say that they will stay together? alot of people get divorced/breakup/etc...
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2008
Tue, 03-15-2011 - 7:15pm
Hugs to you! I wasn't with my baby's dad very long when I got pregnant. He wanted me to have an abortion, but I just can't do it! So I kept him, and am almost 27 weeks now. He left me 2 weeks after I found it. I am not married, I am actually widowed so I don't have anyone in my life that can relate at all! But I will tell you I've been dating while pregnant and it doesn't scare a lot of guys, some yes but not all. I'm 27 so a little younger, but still being single parent in your 30s isn't the end of it. I know many widows or single people that had 2+ kids and are now in happy serious relationships!!

But can you call any counselor or planned parenthood type place and discuss your options? Google can produce scary stories!! You are still early and have the 3 options ahead of you, keep it, abortion, or adoption. Only you will know what is right for you. No judgment from me! It will be ok if you do decide t parent too! It does calm down after a bit but you still get the freak out moments! HUGS!

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Thank you Dedi and Kelly for my
Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Wed, 03-16-2011 - 3:58pm
Your hormones are all over the place right now, so I think it could be a combination of shock, hormones and the situation. Take a week or two to adjust to it and then see how you feel. I like the suggestion to ake talk to a counseler to try to sort out your feelings.

You aren't alone, we are here for you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2011
Wed, 03-16-2011 - 4:42pm

Hey girls,

Thanks a mill for the advice, yesterday was a bad day. Probably the worst in a week and I¨ve been between positive and holding it together for the other days so think I needed a little mini meltdown for myself. My mind is and always has been 99% certain to keep it. I keep thinking about how I´d feel if I had an abortion, not just right after but rest of my life after. I haven´t met anyone I´d remotely be interested in marrying to date so who´s to say it would happen soon or any time within my fertile years anyway? And ddurban I completely relate, seeing your childs heartbeat on a monitor for the first time is pretty epic stuff....stops becoming a problem to deal with and becomes a person, hard to go down the termination route after that.I might look into a councellor but to be honest this board and one other Irish one I have found and being able to chat to people in the same situation who have gotten over the shock part that I´m going through and are overall positive about it all seems to be working wonders and really helps. So thanks so much for your responses, it means a lot...and ddurban sounds like we are in really similar situations so would def love to mail