single, brokenhearted and scared

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2011
single, brokenhearted and scared
15
Mon, 02-21-2011 - 4:09pm
I just wanted to let out my story to people who will understand. Just last Wednesday my boyfriend, now ex, took my credit card and stole $700 from me. The worst part of it all is that I am pregnant and he is well aware. At first he was there. Then this happened and I feel like everything is falling apart. I am in such a difficult financial situation now, I'm single, my family all live quite a ways away. I just feel hopeless. My mind is taking me to places I don't want to go. I am fearing that now since this has happened I am going to resent this baby. And for no fault of its own but because of what the father has done to me. All the things he's done have been my fault, for letting him back in time and time again.

I guess what I am looking for is some reassurance that it will be okay. And that no matter what goes on with him and I this baby will be loved.

Thank you for listening.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2011
Mon, 02-21-2011 - 4:25pm
When I was pregnant with my son, I felt the same way. My ex-husband was terribly abusive and my worst fear was resenting my child and as he grew up, if he looked like his father, that I would transfer those emotions toward his father to him. But he's 4 now, and we've made it just fine. I was a single mom for 4 long years, and sometimes it was tough, but it turned out ok and I became so much stronger for it. I'm sure you will too. I know things feel like their falling apart right now, but just take little steps and try not to think of the big picture and you'll make it through. And your child will most likely be the light of your life after he/she is born and make it all worth it. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2011
Mon, 02-21-2011 - 4:50pm
I am also really concerned about the whole custody issue. Basically I don't really want him to have any at this point. He's not exactly the role model type. Unless u want your child to be a drunk criminal. He's been physically abusive to me in the past and as I said I feel this is all my fault for letting him back in. Do u have any idea how much a family law lawyer costs? Do I have to let him see the child to receive child support?
Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 1:06pm

I'm so sorry that's treating you like this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2011
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 2:24pm
The cost of family lawyers vary all over the place. I really recommend checking out LegalAid in your area. Also, if he has been abusive, you can utilize tons of no cost services through your local domestic violence organization. Good luck! Custody and child support are 2 seperate issues though. Depending on your state - custody can be tricky. There has to be an immediate danger to the child with a past history of harm to that specific child to deny visitation rights or even have supervised visitation in Texas. Child support - you should get no matter what custody or visitation arrangements are made.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2008
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 9:13pm
Hugs to you!! Sorry you are dealing with this. if he stole your credit card, file charges and contact your credit card company and press fraud charges. If he's been abusive in the past mighgt want to mention that too, and have a paper trail. Keep any emails/texts/etc that he says anything, especially mean to you. You can utlitize child support enforcement in your state too once the baby is born (can fill out stuff before but can't do anything until after ward) and they will help get support for the baby. They won't do visitation/custody though. And if you have the paper trail about abuse probably won't be allowed visitation that isn't supervised. It will be ok though! There are a lot of things to help you if in financial need (WIC, SRS, etc). I'm currently 23 weeks.. baby dad not in picture but we'll be ok. Hugs!

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Thank you Dedi and Kelly for my
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2011
Tue, 02-22-2011 - 10:15pm
Thanks for all the support. I really appreciate it. Not that's it nice to know there are other people in my situation its is comforting to know that all you show me that it can be done. You give me hope again to feel like I can and will do this. No matter what. I have my first ultrasound tomorrow and I'm really hoping it brings back the excitement I had before all this bad crap happened.

I'll be sure to get in touch with a lawyer just for some inital advice. At get some idea of what will happen when the time comes. Thanks again. *hugs*
Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Wed, 02-23-2011 - 9:55am

Good luck at your ultrasound today, let us know how it goes :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2008
Fri, 02-25-2011 - 4:25am
How did the u/s go?

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Thank you Dedi and Kelly for my
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2011
Fri, 02-25-2011 - 6:56am
Sorry for my delayed reply on the u/s. It went we'll. I saw a heartbeat and got picture of my little "blob" lol. Still having a hard time emotionally. I had a good cry last night. I think I needed it. Thanks for all the support. :).
Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Fri, 02-25-2011 - 9:26am

(((HUGS))) sometimes a good cry is needed.

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