Single, Pregnant, and Scared of what the future holds

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2011
Single, Pregnant, and Scared of what the future holds
5
Tue, 03-08-2011 - 7:03pm

I'm 30 years old and pregannt with my first child. The father and I were together for over a year and the pregnancy was completely unexpected. In fact, I was on birth control (depo) and really didnt want this right now, especially with this guy. We have had an on and off relationship since the very beginning. In the beginning, he used to break up with me for stupid reasons and I would always take him back. Over time, I lost trust in him and eventually lost the love that I once felt too. We moved in together in January of this year and things took a terrible turn for the worst. He ended up getting physically violent and started degrading me. He threw stuff at me, spit in my face, and called me a fat bitch pretty frequently. Then, he would apologize and I would always let it go. About six weeks ago I found out I was pregnant.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2011
Hi!...
Something I hv learned is tha some people are jus mean for no reason and he sounds like tha..jus b strong and stand ur ground..it will hurt and u will cry..i kno i did..lol..but in the end jus kno u are better then him and his drama.
Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Congratulations on your pregnancy, how far along are you? Good for you for blocking him from your life, it sounds like those texts are just empty threats and another way to try to control you. I know it's going to be hard, but you sound very strong, you can do this! You should keep anything he sends you like that and probably contact a lawyer to see what you need to do to protect the baby from him. We are here for you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2011

Thank you Melissa :) I am 12 weeks. Each day its gets easier and I know I am doing the right thing for me any my baby. It's so sad to me that my baby will likely grow up without a father... I didnt have a father either. I dont want my baby to suffer because his/her father can't pull himself together. I will do anything I can to give this baby the happy childhood it deserves and will be the best mommy/daddy I can be.

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
You sound like you are going to be a great mom! I know that it's not the ideal situation, but it could be better than growing up with a man who is not going to be a loving and supportive father.

Do you have any inklings on gender yet? I was never able to guess correctly!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2011

Not sure on gender. I have been having dreams about a little girl, but who knows! as long as its a healthy little baby, I'll be a happy mama! Cant wait to find out! If it's a girl, her name is going to be Zoey, if its a boy, his name will be Lucas.