Situation

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2008
Situation
4
Mon, 03-01-2010 - 12:29pm

Hi Y'all, I could really use some advice. I am in a very awkward position right now, and

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2010
In reply to: erinn1123
Mon, 03-01-2010 - 12:48pm
The easy answer is that you have to do what is best for the baby and for you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2008
In reply to: erinn1123
Mon, 03-01-2010 - 2:22pm

My advice is to stay in Illinois, at least for now. If you decide to go back to Ohio and things don't work out with your bf, you may have a very difficult time leaving

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2005
In reply to: erinn1123
Mon, 03-01-2010 - 9:08pm

I was in a relationship when I was younger(19) with a very contolling man(27). I got pregnant and he made me get an abortion, I was afraid to NOT do what he said. I resented him after that and the feelings never went away. He got more controlling and then started to get verbally and physically abusive(except he hid it well, my marks were all in places I didn't show). I am not saying yours is abusive but mine got there gradually over the years we were together. One day I just walked away and decided we could only be "friends", yes it hurt but I knew it wasn't good for me to stay and can't imagine how much harder everything would have been had I had that child. Just from reading your posts I would say the SAFEST place for you and your child would be with your mother. As for those hurtful things he said I wouldn't forget them too readily, the words came from somewhere so the thoughts exist in his head. I agree with the PP that you can always work on things with him after the baby is born, work on things slowly, if he really wants this to work he will understand and give you the time you need. BTW, I am now married with 7 children to the most wonderful man who would have accepted me whether I had a child or not from this previous relationship. There are good men out there so don't think you need to settle on someone that doesn't treat you how you deserve. Good luck in your decision and I really hope things work out for you.


Best,


Krista

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2010
In reply to: erinn1123
Tue, 03-02-2010 - 2:13am

I think you should stay with your mom. I only say this because if the situation were ideal to begin with, you never would have felt compelled to leave. The person who should