For the women whos men did a 360
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|Mon, 03-15-2010 - 9:32am|
I wrote this in response to someone elses topic but I think its good for us to know if your a woman who is doin it solo because the man just did a complete 360 on you..........
Hello my dear..congrats first off. I know its hard most of the women on here in some way have the same type of situation including me. It will be hard...it becomes harder when your suppose to have birthing classes or thinking of the day you give birth and even though u despise someone it would of been nice if they were there.
One thing I learned is if a man cannot be there when you need him most he will never be there when you need him. Now there is another innocent life involved who doesnt derserve to be treated how u have by the same person. break the cycle. In my psych class we learned someone abandoning you is like someone dying..it is a loss. There are stages : Hurt :anger:acceptance .
You think maybe they will change once the baby is here. No they will not. They call or text throughout the pregnancy for their own guilty conscience but still selfishly are not truly there.
Its the hardest thing to do..but u have to forgive. Dont let him have that power over you. The power of making u depressed and thinking of him all the time. He is obviously not thinking of you or the baby so dont let him steal ur energy.
Once u can forgive and let go you will feel better. I finally had to do that. I told my ex you are more than welcome to see your son...but if you are not there for the birth you will never see him at all. you leave that door open that way you did everything you could and they cant say "oh she told me to stay away". Trust me most will not be there. You end on a good note with them leaving them feeling more guilty than ever..thats the greatest revenge. You tell them :
"Yes what you have done has hurt me in a way you will never understand....but at one time i loved you and cared about you. and out of that love we created something great. The greatest gift I have ever received. I will be ok because i am a strong woman and a beautiful woman and I will provide for this baby the best life I can. But you, you will not have a good life. You cannot treat someone the way you have and have a good life. I wish you the best of luck."
and for sure they will be like wtf? and try to text or call back saying nonsense..possibly to make u mad..to take you off ur game. but dont respond. once u stop responding is the day you have grown and become a stronger woman.
I wish you the best of luck my dear and when u need to cry ..cry..get it out...if you werent upset by wut happened you wouldnt be human. *hugz*
Edited 3/15/2010 9:33 am ET by isolated82