Confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2009
Confused
4
Tue, 08-25-2009 - 8:50am

I am a 26 year old who found out last week I was pregnant.  I had an ultrasound done and they could not see the babies heart beating yet because it is too early.  I am scheduled for another ultrasound appointment next Tuesday and a part of me want to go but another part of me doesn't want to.


I come from an extremely religious background and believe in how I was raised.  I don't believe in abortion but I have considered it.  My boyfriend does not want the child.  We can't afford it financially.  I would not qualify for any assistance because of mine and his income. We both have our BA degrees so like I said our salaries are apparently too much.  We have researched online at the costs of a child and we are short $200 a month for childcare. There is no one that can look after the child for us so we don't have any other options. He said that if he had the money he would want it. 


I had even scheduled the appointment for the abortion but did so because I don't want to lose him although it's not what I really want.  Everyone says I need to decide what I want and not what he wants.  But honestly, I know I can't afford this child. 


I am also dying inside cause I want to talk to my mom and tell her, we are really close.  I told my boyfriend that I planned on keeping it and he does not seem thrilled at all but neither am I, it's just what I feel is right.  I don't know what I am going to do financially......PLEASE HELP!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
In reply to: rocrose_123
Tue, 08-25-2009 - 3:21pm
I hope you can work up the courage to talk to your mom about this.

 

reena050809.jpg 0809 picture by reena102

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2006
In reply to: rocrose_123
Tue, 08-25-2009 - 4:50pm
It seems that right now your biggest concern is money. What exactly do you have factored in? There are lots of ways to save money like breast feeding, cloth diapering, buying used clothes etc. There may also be areas in yours and your So's life to make sacrifices to better handle the financial burden.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2009
In reply to: rocrose_123
Tue, 08-25-2009 - 9:33pm

If keeping the baby is what you feel is right then that is what you should do. Like the PP said, there are plenty of ways to cost save to make room financially for a baby. Instead of looking online for daycare expenses, visit a few daycares, including the home daycares, and see what they actually charge. You might find a really good facility at a much lower rate than what the online polls say.


It might also help to actually apply for assistance. Since you aren't married they might not take his income into consideration and it will get the ball rolling if you decide to keep it. You can always change your mind later and cancel.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
In reply to: rocrose_123
Wed, 08-26-2009 - 7:07pm

i hope you are able to come to a decision for yourself and no one else. if money is the biggest concern then i can tell you from experience. that there are so many placesto save money when you have a baby... have you looked into liscenced home daycares? centers are generally very expensive but you can save by going to a home daycare. they are liscenced and normally there is less children per adult so youd child gets more attention. and they can be more flexible with their hours..


but you dont have to buy pampers cruisers.. luvs work well.. breastfeeding is free. you can look on craigslist for pretty much everything you will need from cribs to clothes... you can have a baby shower for more stuff.

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