Found out im pregnant today, scared!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2011
Found out im pregnant today, scared!
5
Mon, 09-19-2011 - 7:22pm

I need some advice please. I found out im pregnant today after my ex said he doesnt want another baby and if we were i have to get an abortion. I dont think i want to do that. Im 31 and already a single mom to an 11 year old, i have a temp job and still in school. I have no insurance, and i struggle now with bills. I know im on the right path and it has taken a little longer for me to finish school but adding a baby in the mix scares me. I have had an abortion before and still regret it with all the "what ifs" im not looking for someone to tell me what to do because i know the choice is mine but just some advice. Do you think i can do this alone? Do you think its worth the risk? Is there a risk? Will it work out? Not really worried about the ex im more worried about being a single mother to another child before my life is even right....

Community Leader
Registered: 07-07-2008
Tue, 09-20-2011 - 8:17pm
I think as long as you take the steps to do the best you can for your children, then you can do it. If you are in the US, pregnancy usually makes a woman eligible for Medicaid, so you should talk to someone in Social Services to see what programs are available to help you out. Also look into W.I.C. to help with some of your nutritional needs (they give you certain foods during your pregnancy and then also help with things your need for your baby's nutrition once he/she arrives).

As far as the ex telling you that you have to get an abortion, I'm sure you already know he can't force you to have an abortion.

I hope you can find the strength to make a decision about what is best for you, your daughter, and this baby. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2011
Wed, 09-21-2011 - 6:10pm

Yes im in the U.S and i can get the help, i guess im more scared of having to swollow my pride and ask for it. I told him lastnight i want to keep it and he made me feel horrible, saying i trapped him and its a mistake, a baby should only be born when the people love each other because no on will want it, i ruined his life, he cant afford it, i will never get married because no one wants someone with two kids and so on..i spent most of today crying and looking for answers. Im scared to death of not being able to pay my bills during my pregnancy because my job is only temp and i have no idea when it will end.

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Thu, 09-22-2011 - 4:35pm
(((HUGS))) I'm so sorry he's treating you so badly. Do you think he's putting you through this so he won't have to take financial responsibility? Regardless of what he wants, you can seek support from him. You might want to talk to legal aid about what all your options are to protect yourself. Stacey had some great suggestions, the aid is there for help so don't feel badly about accepting it. It doesn't mean you will always need it but it will help get you through the short-term.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2003
Sun, 10-16-2011 - 12:30pm

My heart goes out to you sweetie. Your story sounds all too familiar.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2011
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 11:14pm
Of course you can do it on your own! You are a strong, independant woman that's done it before.

IMO - the only "risk" is financially and in my experience life tends to work itself out when you need it to. Yes, there are hard times, but you work through them and plan as best you can.

Your life will work itself out to make everything "right", no matter what you choose. If you choose to give this baby life and take care of it yourself, you will make things work for your family. If you choose to give it up for adoption, the family that you bless with this miracle will forever be greatful!