Hmmm...positive, really?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2009
Hmmm...positive, really?
5
Sat, 07-11-2009 - 6:38pm

I'm very confused and am afraid I truly don't know what to do!

We are married 30-somethings and have two children; 11 & 8. When we had our second child we bought a house that we shouldn't have and now we're stuck in it (one of those ARM situations...in which we truly had no clue what that meant...hindsight is 20/20). With that we accrued some debt and now I'm trying to manage it through an agency. Hubby is in school to get his bachelor's and will graduate next May.

His reasoning to not continue this pg is due to our financial situation (which is not dire, but not great either), our busy family situation (both our kids are involved in two different sports...I coach three nights per week and he works evenings), this is his last year of college, and we have hopes/dreams of buying a new house when he is done in a year (after we fix the hunk of junk we live in now)! He feels that the cost of a child will keep us in this house and neither of us wants that. It's a small three-bedroom and we'd have to combine our two eldest to make it work!

I on the other hand, feel that this "being" is a part of the two of us and if this was meant to be, then it was meant to be. That we will figure it all out, as we always do. But I'm afraid he'll resent me for keeping this pg. When I told him that, he said he doesn't want me resenting him for making a decision based off of his thoughts.

I've tried looking at the information to terminate, but I just can't. I believe things will be fine, but will they?

Lilypie First Birthday tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2008
Sun, 07-12-2009 - 10:54pm
I believe that if you choose to have the baby that you will find a way to make it work. don't know if you are religious but if you are then you know that God never gives us more than we can handle and always provides a way for the path he has created. I hope you and your husband can come to an agreement on the situation and that you can move up in life and house even if you have this baby once he graduates school next may.


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2009
Sun, 08-09-2009 - 12:35pm
I know your post is a little old but I wanted to respond. I too am in the same situation. My DH is still on prohbation at his job and is super stressed. We are in an arm going through loan modification and our two girls will be now in one room. We found out we were having a boy and were elated when they informed us something might be wrong. I dont believe in termination and didn't mind untill they told me there was no way he would make it if he had this condition. I was devastated. My DH was shocked at how much he already loved our child. They don't realize until something happens. He says now that it happened to show him how much he loved our child and nothing can replace a life. We now realize how materialistic we were this was our child. He now has made the girls excited to move in together letting them pick out colors and paint. They think it is great. We are cutting cable bills and reading on how to save money. We have decided we can rent if anything happens at least we will all be together as a family. Also just remember there are a lot of people in the same situation struggling with money, we are not alone and there is light at the end of the tunnel. I hope you all the best and hope this brought a little light to your day.

 

Baby Names - BabyNamey.com Name Badge Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2006
Mon, 08-10-2009 - 3:09pm

When do you find out if everything is ok with your little boy???


Hoping that he is alright...


Amanda



iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2009
Mon, 08-10-2009 - 9:03pm
We have already found out from the genetics dept. that everything is ok, but a very scary situation.

 

Baby Names - BabyNamey.com Name Badge Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2006
Mon, 08-10-2009 - 11:48pm

Thank goodness!