Need support, No Judgement please
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|Sun, 08-16-2009 - 9:38am|
So I discovered yesterday that I am pregnant again. I wish I could say this was happy news, but it's not. I'm a 30 year old woman and I have been married to my husband (28) for almost 2 years. I have three wonderful children from a previous marriage. People always would ask when we were going to have a child together and hes always says, "never". Needless to say, he's not on board here. Some history...4 years ago when we started dating we found ourselves pregnant after the first time we made love (his first time ever). I had just divorced and it was a very unsure time. My husband (then bf) insisted I terminate and so I did. I made the appt without thinking and went through with it without ever taking time to consider my options. I never thought abortion would be an option, but there I was. Now 4 years later, here we are again. My husband will not consider any option other than terminating, he is very angry and saddened by our situation. I'm not sure what I want to do. Out marriage isn't rock solid and I'm not sure I want to have a baby with him. He's also a terrible step-father with major anger issues and would most likely be incapable of being any help with a newborn. I am also beginning a surgical technology program and cannot miss more than two days without being dropped from the program and the stress and time involved would definitely not be conducive to a pregnancy or vice versa. It was a very difficult program to get into and I do not want to jeopardize my position. The timing is just horrible and I am sick and confused. The thought of terminating again kills me but the alternative isn't a better option for us right now either.
I am a mess right now.