unplanned 3rd pregnancy....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
unplanned 3rd pregnancy....
4
Wed, 06-10-2009 - 1:43pm

hey all. 3 weeks ago Dh and i learned we are pregnant with our third child.. totally unplanned, suprised wasnt even thinking of having 3 kids ever.....at first i was terrified to tell Dh thinking he would be very upset. but he wasnt, he is taking this all in stride... its me thats the problem


 i have had months here and there that i thought i was PG and was okay with the idea of it. i figured i thought i was done, but if i was then okay. it would be fine. well it finally happened where the test was positive. and im not reacting the way i thought i would...


im devastated. on the outside im putting off this calm fine with it mode to match Dhs. i dont know why but i am. but whenever im alone... or something i am freaking out, depressed and just not happy at all. i was fine with my 2 kiddos. i hate being pregnant, i am terrified to no end about having 3 kids. i work and DH works. but Dh doesnt do jack around the house.. its all on me. same with the kids... he plays WoW more than anything (world of warcraft, computer game) and ive been accepting of this for awhile and was handling life okay enough... but just barely. now. im sick all the time tired all the time i feel like crap. DH isnt helping out around the house like i knew he wouldnt ( i have never felt this sick before while pregnant.. not for this long going on 3 weeks now..) i just keep walking around thinking i cant do this. i cant. but DH is fine with it (of course he is fine with it. all he has to do is stand by and watch) i dont know what to do but i wish i could feel differently.. everytime i look around at other pregnant women at my stage, they are all sick too but say "but if it means the baby is fine, ill take it".... i cant say that. i never felt like this with either of my two kids when i found out i was pregnant. even my son who was such an unplanned suprise... horrible timing.. worst timing ever. but i handled it better than now.. then my daughter, who i was still struggling with sesvere PPD from my son, we were living with my parents because we had both gotten laid off... i handled it better than this.. right now we have a larger enough home. both work (opposite shifts so childcare isnt an issues) and DH is excited even


im the one begging him not to tell his parents or mine because im not ready and dont know when i will be....


 


thanks for letting me get some stuff out. its hard to talk about this since most people wouldnt understand...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2006
Thu, 06-11-2009 - 8:30am

I think you need to talk to DH. My DH was like yours for a long time. Because I did everything he assumed I COULD do everything. He had no idea how hard it was to fit all that work in a day.

I would try broaching the issue of help to him and seeing if he is receptive. lessing that stress could help you feel better.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Thu, 06-11-2009 - 11:49am

i just feel so hopless. weve been through it all. the problem is. his video game is addictive.. seriously. people become just as addicted to this, as a drug. and he is addicted to it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2006
Fri, 06-12-2009 - 9:53am

have you tried couples councilling? Addictions are hard to beat but the fact that it is one is no reason for you to live in misery. Are you really willing to give another 20 years of your life to feeling the way you do now?

Honestly I feel you have to do something because the way you are being treated right now is completely unfair and unreasonable.

It is also important to think of what the current situation is teaching the kids. It is teaching your boys that it is ok to take advantage of their wife and your girls that they shouldn't expect men to pull their own weight.

I really think you need to work on yourself for both your own sanity and the kids as well.

Sorry if that came off kins preachy I never intended for it to.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2009
Fri, 06-12-2009 - 6:49pm
It seems to me like you man and you should find someone to help you with issues because i get so terrified for my babie if i am under alot of stress an it seems yo me like you are, please try and find a proffestional person to help your husband understand he should be in suport of you..meaning he needs to be by your side and not the vidoeo.love angela,take care.