What's a girl to do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2011
What's a girl to do?
Thu, 12-22-2011 - 3:22pm

I took a few test and I found out I am pregnant. I don't know what to do. I only told three people, two friends and my mom. I am scared and I don't know what the right decision is. The father and I are no longer together. I do not want to get back together with him. He already has a daughter. It seems I can't get a long with him anymore. His friends don't like me, my friends don't like him. When we were together, I was more about going out with my friends having fun then being in a relationship. Before him I was in a serious relationship. I jumped into one with way to fast.

His "friend" called my job before to get my fried because I was not going there to see him, or being there for him. Someone old me he said I stole his card. I asked him about it. He was pissed when I would not tell him who told me. He sent me the text "haha f*ck you its on unless you tell me"

He also has daughter, she is going on two. He was not displane her. He says because she does not understand. She would push me, and hit me and say no.He said I need to look past that. He let walk around with glass. He told me she is not going to drop it. He wants to be the cool fun parent. (he told me his) He wants to buy her call the cool toys so she will want to be with him.

His ex and him to not get a long. He was on the phone when I was next to him talking to his friend that called my job. They were talking about how they can damage his exs car. Because his ex would not let him see his daughter when ever he wanted, and took him to court for child support.

He was also saying he wants to take his daughter out of sate, at least 1000 miles away, to see his parents with out the mother knowing.

I part of me wants to keep the baby, my friends have done it. Apart of me does not. I don't have the money. I am lucky to bring home 400 every two weeks. Sometimes its only 200 for two weeks. There is so much I want to do yet. I don't want to punish a kid for that. I do have my parents to help me.

The father always seems to be place to place. On top of that I do believe he has no insurance in his car!! I would not want my child in that car, just in case something happen.

I am so lost, I don't know what to do!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2009
Sat, 12-24-2011 - 8:31pm
Perhaps, if abortion is not an option for you maybe adoption? $400 a month is not nearly enough to support a baby and it sounds like your parents are struggling financially as well. If you decide to keep this child by law the father has to help support the child. Does he have a well paying stable job? I don't know how old you are, but I think you may be a bit on the young side and still not finished with school and haven't gotten a chance to travel some yet. These are all important to consider too. Children are great, but they take a lot of time, money, and patience. There are many people out there who would love to adopt a healthy child and can support them. Also, there are many different kinds of adoption options, some which will still allow contact between you and the child. Sorry if this post seems really negative. I hope this helps. Good luck in whatever you decide.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2012
Wed, 01-11-2012 - 12:54am

I just read your story and I want you to know you are not alone.