here we go again more school anxiety

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
here we go again more school anxiety
15
Thu, 01-19-2012 - 12:28pm

A bit annoyed at teacher, AGAIN. So Liam has been complaining of belly aches on and off last week. There has been a stomach bug thing and think he was actually sick on Friday, but then the other night he started again. He is an anxious kid so last night I probed a bit. With everything that had been going on before break worried he is still not speaking up. First I got a no then I got a well am worried about my grades which he elaborated worried about being left back. Guess teacher felt the need to tell the class she needs to let principal know at end of quarter who she feels needs to stay back and there are a few on her list.

Really?!?!? Or is it just me. Why on earth say something??? Its school policy following close of second quarter grades teachers must notify admins and parents of students AT RISK for retention. A meeting is held, interventions are discussed etc., and no decision is made until after 3rd quarter. It’s in the handbook as a parent I read it I understand it, he is 8 yes he needs to take school seriously but to the point you are worrying him. Last quarter she said x# of kids had As x# had Bs and so on and some failed. My kids grade at this point whether you say speficially of speak in general terms is NO ONE business but hers, mine, his and the admins at the school and any other staff that work with him not the entire class. If someone else kid is failing it’s not MY business or my kids. He fretted over was he one of them and now she has him worried he will repeat. Not that it doesn’t worry me, he definitely isn’t an A student but his IEP adds a different level, although I still feel she is not completely following this is all stuff we would address in a meeting and nothing is final in January what happens in June, just kind of annoyed she would even address the class as a whole on this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Thu, 02-09-2012 - 9:30pm
Sounds like you need to send in a signed note next time, with an explanation that if she can't handle this, he will just stay home the next day and you will send an excuse.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 8:37am

I'd give the teacher a piece of my mind.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Thu, 02-02-2012 - 8:04pm
Last night liam was sick. We got home from afterschool at 6pm he had a headache asked to lie down. My youngest was sick too so needless to say we never got to homework. Kid went to bed right after dinner. Told him tell teacher u were sick will bring tomorrow. Well he got lecture about excuses and stories and homework comes first. Ok not like kid was playing from 2 to 6 he was in an afterschool. They can't do the homework with him lke I do. With the iep he either does on computer or I write it. He is only in homework help once a week because they can't spare the staff to give him that 1 on 1 and they don't access to computers and she knows he goes to after school. Livid right now counting down days to the end of this year.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Thu, 02-02-2012 - 2:12pm

hello!! ita with you. it is nobodys business if the whole class is failing. maybe the teacher was having a day...or a moment...or maybe she wanted to scare everyone into doing better...but she shouldnt have said anything. im a lot like liam-i have anxiety issues...and i would have freaked if the teacher would have said that when i was in school. i would have felt just like liam. im sure hes not one of them...but still. why would the teacher do that?? that was so not cool.
joanne

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 5:28pm
Urg. She can threaten all she wants, but if he is failing because of his disability it is her fault for not following the IEP. She is the adult in this situation, with the power. Yes, the child SHOULD be coming forward when they need the help, but golly, what kid wants to be different. It is up to her to do what she is supposed to do, not wait for an 8 year old to come forward and ask. She may be looking at him in a disapproving way when he asks so that he doesn't want to ask. It does not relieve her of her duty.

And, no, not a crutch - but it is what the law says, regardless of if you or the teacher wants him held back, it isn't going to happen. But she does need to do her job, and if she isn't, the team should be on her about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 2:16pm

But there are definetly much better ways to try and motivate them.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Sat, 01-21-2012 - 8:45am

my mom was funny, she knows her socially from ages ago she also knows she taught in catholic school before this and my mom as a catholic school surviver feels maybe she is channeling some old school non. She probably is more old school then his past teachers, well accept for kindy and his first 1st grade teacher retired mid year but when you know you just need to make it to Decemeber and you are free you probably get more lax. I remember the whole oh will you be promoted hoopla, I remember my mom yelling at my sister you want to have to repeat , but I never remember a teacher saying as a whole to a class you may repeat and I had a teachers who placed kids in trash barrels (he deserved it) emptied messy desk on the floor in front of whole class and made you write I will not _______ over and over again until you thought your hand would fall off...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Sat, 01-21-2012 - 8:38am

Thats my secret weapon so to speak and not so much that but his ed coordinator who is also his OT. Course for the love of God cannot find the IEP for this year. I KNOW I made a copy but lazy me kept forgetting to put in my Liam folder. What worries me is when I reread last year the computer use, reduced work and verbal were all VERY clear. I don't remember it being clear at all in the last one. Infact all I remember was computer use but vaguely rememeber it coming up but was it oin his IEP meeting or the last teacher conferemce about the verbal stuff from last year. Was it in the IEP because teacher had brought it up and this one does come off as being willing unless its written and even then if Liam aint complaining either to her me or OT she can get away with not. So anyway have to do a search today for it if not calling school monday for a copy but either way his team would be in on any conference about repeating so this could all be ironed out then, so while I may worry we get a letter I'm less worried something negative comes out of it. If anything I think it would be positive if she isn't following the IEP correctly like I feel she can get call out on that by the experts not just the mom. I don't want the IEP to be a crutch in a bad way so as far as he knows he has certain rights under it but I am NOT there in the class to police so he has to tell me if feels overwhelmed by the writing and if he isn't given a computer option. Problem is he won't speak up he is shy we have explained but if only I could be a fly on the wall to see what really goes down.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Sat, 01-21-2012 - 8:25am

Yah I wondered was she motivating them. Now I don't know the situation in the class when she said this, was something going on where she felt they weren't trying. I know Liam can take awhile to adjust after a vacation maybe he isn't alone maybe some kids are still on holiday mode. They had a short week full week then another short week. I know myself at work its hard to get back into the grind after the holidays because there is so much time off from late novemember to mid January, so maybe she was reacting to an unfocused class room and wanted them to realize there were serious consequences??? but they are 8 and 9???

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Sat, 01-21-2012 - 8:20am

I'm not a rock the boater and we knew her from outside school so not that I don't want her to get trouble for something like that just makes things more awkward. I don't even know if other parents know. Its in the handbook it goes on every year but I am guessing most kids are cluless. And this is my bizzare train of thought for an older kid to know only way he can get kept behind is to be signled out after 2nd quarter grades which means you could tank 3rd and 4th and still move on (it is different in middle school part of school) you have less motivation last 2 quarters...

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