Only starting 4th grade and already hates school

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Only starting 4th grade and already hates school
3
Wed, 08-22-2012 - 8:40am

This has been an on going theme going back to at least the 2nd grade. He actually told his teacher, I like you, like my classmates but hate school. I get things are harder for him, part of it is trying to motivate him to work. He wants good grades but he doesn't understand most people have to work for them, yes he has to work harder to compenstate for sometings but no one has it easy. I just worry if he hates school now what is it going to be like come middle school and high school!!!

On the plus side he said he no longers hates afterschool, which is a plus since he is in school until 5:30 and I often wondered if its the hours but I think its the work. Its fustrating. They keep testing him for reading issues and on tests he does fine but get him to read a chapter in a book and then tell me what happened and ok maybe first go around he wasn't prepared for mommy quiz but the second and third time!!! Just already at my wits end and school hasn't even started!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2005
Fri, 08-24-2012 - 4:19pm

If reading stamina is an issue, rather than decoding, this may be a good point.  Malachi did about a year and a half of vision therapy once we realized he had no depth perception, had trouble keeping his place on a page, and felt tired/headachy all the time when reading despite getting good marks in reading.  He leveled up amazingly in pretty short order. 

Gwen

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Fri, 08-24-2012 - 11:31am

They keep testing him for reading issues and on tests he does fine but get him to read a chapter in a book and then tell me what happened and ok maybe first go around he wasn't prepared for mommy quiz but the second and third time!!! Just already at my wits end and school hasn't even started!!!

How much do you trust the testing that the school is doing? Has he had a comprehensive evaluation (IQ, LD, social-emotional)?  I have had several kids on IEPs and the challenges weren't easy to pinpoint. We thought dd21 was ADD at one point, but learned that she definitely wasn't. However, her anxiety would make her thoughts race. We also learned about what style of learner she was and how to help her learn best. In addition, we found out that she was profoundly gifted, even though she didn't necessarily appear that way all the time. We had to work on reducing anxiety, helping her with executive functioning, making sure she had challenging, but not too stressful work (for example, in HS she took AP classes but didn't take the AP test). The extensive testing and meeting wtih the educational specialist really helped.

For my ds12, who is still on an IEP for speech-language, we went from "developmentally delayed" starting at 18 months, to OT, PT, speech, and a full-time aide in Kindy and 1st. It wasn't until extensive testing in 3rd grade that we realized that he had expressive language problems (and this was a kid already in the system). He needed very specific therapy to help him with sequencing story or narrative elements, staying on topic, etc. He used to also "skip" a lot when he read - his eye would literally skip paragraphs when  he read, so he'd do well on short tests but be unable to describe a book he was reading. All of his "normal" testing didn't uncover any of this. In fact, he was already in the gifted program (which started mid-2nd grade) when we figured out what was wrong. It took a LOT of pushing from me to convince the school that something still wasn't quite right.

As far as work ethic, that's hard, and I'm sure the hours combined with whatever else is going on don't help. Not to mention, I think most boys that age just aren't that excited about sitting down and working :smileywink:. My ds10 takes a ton of prodding! I've never understood why, if he's on the computer, there is one time dimension ("what do you mean my time is up?? I just got on, mom!") and if he's doing homework there is another ("PLEASE can I have a break, I've been working a really long time!") Let's see - I hear the former quote after 30 minutes on the computer, and the latter after about 5 minutes, maybe 3 minutes, of doing homework!!

Good luck... when does school start?