uninvolved parents...URGH

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
uninvolved parents...URGH
10
Sat, 01-14-2012 - 8:37am

So annoyed with my sister right now. My 5 year old nephew is in kindy and he got a project this weekend. Its been going on since September. Each kid has to bring home the classroom stuffed animal...its an arthur doll...and write about its weekend. OK he is 5 in kindy, yes he can't write like that per say and yes its mostly the parents that write but thats not the goal of it all. Liam had to do something similar last year but it involved a book.

Anyway sister is all ticked off she doesn't want this dirty germy thing in her house and she is going to keep it on a chair and this is stupid I'm not in school he is and she is like he nephew doesn't care...um hello if you show ZERO enthusism then yah he is going to feed off that. Yes I do expect the school to teach my child but I understand as his parent I play a role and if I don't get involved and take an active part in his education how can I expect him too. Like I liked running around taking pictures of things in the city for his all about my town scavenger hunt but he was excited and we did learn things we didn't know about where we lived, like I liked dressing a clothes pin doll for his ansestor project and yes it was HIS project and most parents admit was a bit above their level to figure out how to dress this thing and most admit it was more their project it still got us teaching our kids something about them and sure the person I sent flat stanley too would have rather not carried a cut out doll for a week and its not even their kids project

what was that post awhile back about what about better parents?? She is my sister and all but if she is negative about something as simple as keeping an arthur journal for 3 days whats she going to do for science projects...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2004
Sat, 01-14-2012 - 11:10pm
:( Doing things like 'arthur projects' is part of being a parent. I am sure there are many more things she would rather do but this is his school project and is probably important to him even if he is not saying it is. He sees what the other children at school are doing for their arthur projects and if his is not what theirs have been he will know. He is the one who has to go to school and reap the benefits of this project, not her. She should really think about that. What kind of position she is putting him in.

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Avatar for turtleemom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2007
Sun, 01-15-2012 - 12:40pm

I am an involved parent.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Sun, 01-15-2012 - 11:55pm
Is your sister feeling a bit of pressure right now? Is this just the straw that broke the camel's back? If she really objects, she should send a note to the teacher, and her son can tell the teacher what they did that weekend and she or a parent volunteer can write it in.

I have encountered this before, and it was from a single mom with a girl with learning disabilities. The mom had been homeschooling her, but really, it was just too much for both of them - sometimes it does take someone with more knowledge to teach the basics. Anyhow, the mom refused to do extended work with her daughter at home. She felt like a failure because she couldn't teach her daughter, she was the sole provider, she had hurt her back and wasn't working and didn't know how to pay the rent, and didn't have a car on top of it to get to interviews or a job. Doing more work at home was more than what she could handle right then.

Now, I don't know your sister's circumstances. I do hope that the kinder teacher is better than the one my daughter had. That teacher would belittle the kid for not getting their parent to do the work, until the kid was in tears. I hope that the teacher has had this situation before and handles it with grace, and helps him write in what they did.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 10:22am

I'm honestly surprised that she was so worried about a "dirty germy" stuffed animal. If the animal is brought home over the weekend, and then sits at school for a week, it's pretty unlikely that any germs are going to survive, especially since most germs don't thrive well on soft surfaces. I'd be far more worried about my kid sitting next to a sick kid at school than getting sick from a stuffed animal. The

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2005
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 11:02am

I do find that homework expecting and requiring heavy parental assistance is a problem in our house.

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Community Leader
Registered: 05-28-2000
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 12:48pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 1:57pm

If this is too much to aks of you as a parent.......... why did you have kids in the first place?




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Avatar for turtleemom
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2007
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 5:36pm

Since the mom in question isn't here to defend or explain herself and since

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 6:42pm

so tried replying earlier while on my lunch but work PC and ivillage don't get along so going to try to be quick while I wait for dinner to cook before I start my homework nightmare

first off about sister she has 5 year old twins and an 11 year old DD, she has never gone to an open house for her oldest and just this year in 5th grade made a teacher conference. the twins are night and day. She always praises how smart one is the other is a behavior issue. Both were premature but the behavior one is also failure to thrieve among other things. Boys are in different classes and she has not been quiet she is not a fan of the behavior ones teacher and this is the one doing the project. I would bet money she has a different reaction if its the other teacher. Now she has been pretty hands off for last 6 years with DD. When there was a project my mom or I usually pitched in (its complicated). Up until last year sister worked full time so DD homework was done at after school.

The germ thingy, she is over kill. Won't let her kids play in a park they may get dirty...they are kids. Also from fall to sprong if my mom asks to take them its usually no they will get sick. My kids roll around in dirt, if its over 30 you can go outside if dressed right and they are sick MUCH less..I'm total opposite I am antibacteria snob. You put them in a bubble they are only going to be more prone to germs, you expose them they will build tolerance.

Anyway I work full time, we get home at 6, dinner by 6:30 or 7 depending then comes the homework. Liam has a writing disability and in years past he did homework in afterschool. It wasn't working this year for whatever reason either he was still bringing it home or he wasnt retaining what was done so we are doing it at home. That said with the writing issue he either does it on computer if he can or he does it verbally and I write. yah not what i WANT to do after working a LONG day but like a prior poster said if I choice to have kids and this comes with it. I have a 3 year old too and tonight like many nights DH is stuck at work so I not only have to do the homework dance but entertain a 3 year old. there are nights I look at DH and go at this rate if I MAKE it to his graduation it will be a miracle and this is just for nightly homework. We can get a reduction based on his IEP but at this point he needs the homework for the retention.

His teachers have always been understanding of working moms its a good mix at his school. Major stuff they get more then a night to do but the one thing that gets me is the reading log but after talking to non working moms who have same issues with nightly reading I don't feel so bad. No big projects this year but he had a lot last year and some he did on his 90% on his own others it was more me. We did a scavenger hunt last year, clearly no 2nd grader could have done alone but the point was to get the kids excited about where they live and seeing as I didn't grow up in this town it was a good learning thing for me. The other thing is our school STRESSES parental involvement. You need that home school connection and this was a good project to promote it. Some of the other things his motor skills prevent him from doing on his own. His first one last year was a me cube, he wanted to do ALL by himself so all I did was help with cutting and time management (we did a side at a time until it was done took a bit over a week) Now his was clear he did it. Saw other kids I wonder because I couldn't make it look THAT neat but he wasn't graded down because his looked like a kid did it. Most parents were not pleased with all the projects from last year. Certain ones we claimed were ours not theirs but...and on that note got to run there is marker on my floor AGAIN...guess my day care provider assigned homework too

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Community Leader
Registered: 05-28-2000
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 8:25pm

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