8 Resolutions Every Mom Should Make

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2004
8 Resolutions Every Mom Should Make
3
Fri, 12-30-2011 - 9:15am

I love posting this every New Years....it serves as a good reminder I think.

http://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/style/8-resolutions-every-mom-should-make/

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Fri, 12-30-2011 - 11:47pm
I like the one about cleaning. I sometimes see houses where both parents work, and kids are at daycare until 6, then off to church or scouts in the evenings and again on the weekend...and the houses are spotless. (Because, no one is home.)

As a home schooling mom, that spotless house lasts about 45 minutes (while the kids are out playing) and then it is back to tornado alley. I have to remind friends of mine with toddlers that mess is normal when you have toddlers and are home - it is a fact of life and a happy childhood. Even my friend with 5 kids (and home schooled), whose living room and kitchen were always spotless, had an area in the cellar where the laundry piled up and the kids played.
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Registered: 09-12-2003
Sat, 12-31-2011 - 8:22am

well as a 2 working parent family I can tell you my house hasn't been spottless since the day we moved in. By the time we get home at 6ish I'm too pooped to do much as is Dh but the kids certainly aren't so there is playing but little cleaning going on monday - friday then saturday and sunday are squeeze in family time, whatever activities maybe happening, errands and cleaning. Doesn't help house is small so sometimes cleaning with DH and the kids around is more hassle then its worth. I get 1 or 2 good cleanings in a month by shipping DH and th kids out but other then that we will tidy on Sundays. Decided worthless to do so on a Saturday especially in the winter when we will most likely be in Sunday because it just gets bad again. Most working mom's I know are in the same boat now that Liam is school most of his SAHM friends have all kids in school for at least a few hours a day so they take full advantage of the cleaning and some are a biit snotty at the fact that us working mom's don't wash our floors more then once a week. This causes a bit of a playdate biasis, some SAHM won't let their kids at WM homes because they surely cannot meet my standards of clean and some WM won't have SAHM kids at their house out of fear of negative backlash if their house isn't tip top. My mom has a hard time accepting the status of my house yet she admits she had it easy in someways since she didn't work and she gets my sister and I are exhauted wghen we get home and we need to do dinner and homework and such let alone pick up. You actually will be amazed the mess 2 boys can leave in 2 hours. We may all be gone most of the day but not like when we get home they go straight to bed or even just veg on the couch...somedays I wish!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Sun, 01-01-2012 - 12:00pm
Honestly? You sound like you are home more than the family I was describing! And, I do know they had a house keeper come in once or twice a week (even when they were on vacation! I fed the cats for them, and the house keeper showed up.)

And yes, their daughter from the 2500 square feet house showed up and thought that my house was dirty because there were 5 of us in less than 800 square feet. Only so much tidy you can do - then things are just cluttered. But the mom refused to let her daughter play at the house next door - the single mom there had ADHD and little follow through and things were at a level that I really preferred that my daughter not eat there because the dishes were usually so high in the sink that you couldn't wash anything if you wanted. The floors there were cleaned once a year, if that. But, mom was a single mom, and had a lot going against her - like being raised in foster homes and no consistent help or teaching how to do things.

Those stay at home moms with clean houses either don't have toddlers at home, or they ship them off during the day, as I know I had issues with getting things clean when I had toddlers. I had to have a different standard of cleanliness to get things "done". Dishes first, laundry (washed, but not folded.) Toys picked up so we can walk. Then, once a week vacuumed. Sweeping and mopping done so that crawler's knees aren't too black!

But in reality, I have learned to really chill about how other people keep their houses in comparison to mine. ( Yes, now that kids are school age, they are able to help more, and clean up more after themselves.) Everyone has their own level of slovenliness that they are comfortable with. Some choose to spend more time nagging their kids to pick up, or more time running after them picking up than I really want to do. Or, they have extra help, which not all of us can afford. My kids have played in some really NASTY dirty houses (family, so yes, we kind of have to if we are going to see them as they live the other side of the country. How clean the house is is less important than seeing cousins,) and so far none of my kids have gotten sick or ill from it. Those mom judging each other on if the floor gets mopped more than once a week need to chill. I bet that relatives from just about a hundred years ago of most did NOT mop that often either! (Or bath their kids as much as we do now!)