Do you go to the bus stop with your child?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2012
Do you go to the bus stop with your child?
4
Thu, 01-24-2013 - 12:11pm

I've always gone out to the bus stop with my 3rd grader but I'm often the only parent out there. Am I "babying" him by doing so? What age did you let your kids go out to the bus stop alone?

Avatar for sunset5000
Community Leader
Registered: 10-10-2007

That is such a good question, wish I would of read this thread sooner because I wondered the same thing.

Our son is in 2nd grade and we still walk him to the bus stop.  We are in a subdivision, the bus stop is across the street and about 6 houses down.  I use to think the same thing because up until this school year, I was the only parent at the bus stop of about 8 children.  Now, we have parents of 4th grade triplets who come to the bus stop and they live closer to the stop then we do.

I understand that at some point, as parents, we have to give them independence.  But, I don't feel comfortable yet for him to go in the morning at 6:25am and still dark outside.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
No. Yes, we homeschool, but we didn't always. My oldest did school in kinder and 1st grade. Our bus stop was in front of the house, and yes, sometimes I sat with her on the step and we listened to the hummingbirds. But it was not as though I felt I needed to be with her. I would have been comfortable with her walking to the next stop up the street without me as well. I routinely let my kids run ahead without me when walking from about age 3 on, (with agreed waiting places,) and this didn't seem any different to me. They knew from this experience where to be on the road and how to act.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003

I tried to respond to this but no clue what happened. Anyway I do but because we take the city bus. We live too close for the school bus but too far to walk so we talk public tranist and even at 9.5 he is too young to ride that alone.

Its going to defend on your area. We have had a lot of recent crime in this area so while I am not a helicopter mom I am tighting the reigns some. We also live off a main street and have to cross it to get to a bus stop and its a HORRIBLE intersection for crossing, so if he was on the school bus I'd still be going with him. If he was the only kid I'd be waiting then I'd probably stay if there were other kids it really depends.

Last year I started letting my then 8 year old walk the rest of the way to school alone and he LOVED it. He was craving some independance. I stood and watched until I say him safetly in the school yard. He got independance and I got to make sure he was ok. Now I feel confident that I can just part ways. It was a big step for both of us.

As parents we need to learn to let go some or they aren't going to learn independance. Yes safety is important to but we aren't always going to be there. A big thing I do is the what ifs. I ask him what he would do if something happened. If he knows its ressuring for me and if he doesn't that I can teach him. If I was leaving his at a bus stop my big issues would be bus not showing or stranger approaching; i'd go over and over those with him, when I get he knows what to do then I know its tme to cut some strings. Also I always ask him first if he is ready for more independence and then we make a plan. Ask DS if he feels he no longer needs you, go over your concerns make sure he knows what to do if something happens then start slow. May sit in your car where you can see him and feels that independance and when you see he is fine you will eventually feel ok just driving away.

But again the area the bus stop is plays the biggest rule, if other parents feel its safe then it maybe fine to follow that lead. If there are other kids at the stop that might make it easier. Safety is also in numbers. But the biggest thing to his safety is him feeling confident being there without you.

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Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999

We have a kindergartener, so yes we do.  We have a few older kids that ride the bus, I don't know what age they are, but they are always accompanied by their parents at the bus stop.  I guess it would depend on where the bus stop is in relation to the house, etc.  Our bus stop is just at the end of our driveway, so by 3rd grade, I would be comfortable letting them go alone, but I would watch through the window or hang out outside the door.  In 5th grade when my ODD was growing up I was already gone to work and she got herself up and off to the bus stop on her own in the mornings.

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