Do you still have snuggle time with your kids?

Avatar for melissamc
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2007
Do you still have snuggle time with your kids?
7
Wed, 09-19-2012 - 2:36pm

So my dh is starting to get a bit on my nerves with this issues, especially since I think he's over reacting when it comes to this.

I have four boys, ages 14 to 9 (birthday last week).  While my other boys only tolerate (or barely tolerate) affection from their mom, my youngest totally soaks it up.  He's always wanted to be close to me, but not in a strange or creepy way :smileywink:  He is just flat out a cuddler, and still wants that time with me.   If I'm sitting on the couch, he'll want to sit next me.  He likes to lean against me and is always giving me hugs (just not in front of peers!).  He also still sneaks into our bed at night, he has forever, and most nights I don't hear him.  If I do wake up, I won't let him climb into our bed, but make him sleep on the couch in our room.  I know this drives my husband nuts, but I never seem him waking up in the middle of the night to deal with it.

I, of course, soak it up because I know my days are numbered when it comes to snuggle time with my boys.  He's the only one I've gotten to stay home with for any length of time, I became a SAHM when he was three.  It's not like he's totally attached me, he goes out and plays with his friends for hours at a time, does totally fine and well adjusted at school and sports.  He does make sure to get a quick hug from me before going out on his own, but it doesn't seem any different from other kids his age.   

My husband has been making some remarks to him and me about this, last night he asked him "aren't you too old for this" and "it's time to cut the cord", which totally confused my son and honestly, made me a bit irritated.  He also compared our relationship to attachment parenting, which is totally not the case. 

Do you think that my son is getting too old to cuddle?



Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Thu, 09-20-2012 - 10:11am

Is he too old to cuddle? No, no, NO!!!!!

Your dh would hate me, lol. My ds10 is the baby of four as well and he is the sweetest thing on the planet. He cuddles and kisses and hugs and everyone loves it. He still sits on my lap during service a lot of the time. Ds12 is one of those "sideways hugs" kind of kids (the girls, who are older, were the same - one more and one less affectionate, but no one is close to ds10).

It's ds10's personality and we love it. Dh (who is NOT cuddly, works hard at his emotional IQ, doesn't like small talk or compliments, etc) is actually kind of wowed by it. Ds10 wrote him a letter for his birthday that ended, "I want to be the kind, loving man you are." We both kind of laughed (by ourselves, later that night) saying that neither dh nor ds12 could EVER have written a 3-paragraph letter detailing why they loved someone.

So, yes, he's a cuddly kid, but that's part of his sweet, affectionate nature. It's all tied in together. And, btw, he is also our worst sleeper. The next two oldest are amazingly good sleepers (like dh, very calm and restful) but ds struggles. He also wrote in his birthday letter to dh, "At night when I can’t sleep, you come and stay with me and calm me down." If he is really struggling, dh lets him sleep with him on our king-sized bed and I sleep in our guest room. Now, ds12 would never feel comfortable sleeping in the same bed as us (even on the far side of a king bed) and he is not very physically affectionate-although strangely enough he will tolerate it from ds10, who greets him with exuberant hugs as well! But I don't think one is right or normal and one has something wrong with him. {It also probably helps a little that ds12 is my height (5'6") so cuddling would be tough, while ds10 is a peanut.} :smileyhappy:

Ds10 does well in school, is very social, plays three sports, and is happy as can be on his own. Who cares if he is cuddly? It will change soon enough! Take it from the mom of a 22 and a 19-year old!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Fri, 09-21-2012 - 6:58am

we still cuddle and my boys are 4 and 9. Like you said I know time is running out on my oldest even wanting too (although honestly he is more willing then my little one) so I am getting while I can. Also I notice with 9 yr old he asks for hugs when he seems uncomfortable so clearly he finds it comforting.

Photobucket
Avatar for melissamc
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2007
Tue, 09-25-2012 - 1:39pm
Thanks for your input, ladies! I have to agree with you all :smileywink: We've been working on the bed issue. Found a solution that seems to be working, he's been laying on a blanket on the floor next to my side of the bed. While it's not ideal that he's still waking up in the middle of the night, at least he's not in between us hogging bed space. I just hope that one day he outgrows this waking up at 2 or 3 am because of nightmares (he says...).

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 9:47am

Yes, we do still cuddle.  And we will continue to do so until the boys tell us otherwise (they're 7 and 10).  The oldest already doesn't want hugs ans kisses outside the house, so it may not be much longer.  If we raise secure, well-adjusted kids, they will lossen the cord on their own (with the knowledge that they can come back to it as needed).  Your husband is wrong on this one.

 

 




Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2011
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 10:43pm

I still snuggle my guys all the time and they barely tolerate it, too. I like to sit with them at bedtime for a nice stretch - reading, cuddling and talking before they fall asleep. I don't think you're wrong to cuddle your youngest if he'll tolerate it - he's only going to grow up, after all. :smileyhappy:

Build your own free website for your family pictures! www.totsites.com