Board Issues and Quiet Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2001
Board Issues and Quiet Board
16
Mon, 12-31-2012 - 9:26am

Although the board is often quiet this time of year, the recent change in board hosting has likely had some impact.  I still can not simply sign in and post.  Usually, I have to sign in twice.  Today I signed in, but then was told the board could not be found and had to navigate back to the ivillage main page and then to the message boards.  People likely get frustrated and are not willing to go through that to post.  It has now been months and should not be so hard!  I am a long-time user of this board and have been through several changes (back to the days of Parents Place) but this has been the most frustrating!)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2000
Tue, 01-15-2013 - 3:43pm

I often cannot access this board at all, even after multiple attempts.  I only try once a month or so, because it's not worth the time and often freezes me out in mid-post.  I have missed you all. If anyone who happens to remember me from the old days wants to FB friend me, please come and find me on Facebook- name is Suzanne Spector.  High school is listed as Keystone Oaks.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2010
Tue, 01-15-2013 - 2:10pm
I can't speak for the others, but the labeling doesn't bother me in the slightest. It would, however, bother me if parents had to justify their own descriptions of their children with a list of achievements. Firstly, gifted kids don't always achieve and secondly, you very quickly end up with an unpleasant board atmosphere if posters are put in the position of defending themselves right off the bat. I think it will be difficult to decide who gets to use what words to describe their own kids, and I think the situation grows even more uncomfortable if parents coming online to seek out the advice of parents in similar situations have to worry that the advice they're receiving is tempered by doubt as to the veracity of the information they've provided. Finally, while the odd parent brag does occasionally seem over the top, I really haven't seen enough of it to feel annoyed. That said, I haven't been around here for that long so maybe I'm just not jaded enough yet.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Thu, 01-10-2013 - 12:42pm

The question was about the online gifted community as a whole. I don't think the demographics have actually changed, just the definition of profoundly gifted. 10 years ago, the term was reserved for the handful of 10-year-olds going to college and the likes.... truly extreme cases. Now I see it used with 3rd graders who are only working 2 years ahead but whose parents, having read up on profound giftedness, are certain that their child will never fit in anywhere ever. It's difficult to discuss anything when the mismatch between personal understandings of giftedness is so different.

Your post really made me think (and wonder how I've been perceived). I describe my oldest as PG simply because that is the "label" we were given when she was tested. I had no idea that this term bothered people or that people felt it should be reserved for "ten year olds going to college."  Honestly, we had her tested because of other issues (emotional issues/anxiety) and I'm just happy that she finished college successfully at all (at 21, after 5 years, definitely not at 10 :)). Still, I don't think that takes away from the fact that, at least by some measures (WISC-IV), she tests as "profoundly gifted."  I don't think we're tied to this label-  we haven't even had the other kids tested beyond the school's test and some talent search that they expressed interest in taking. I think being gifted is a small portion of my kids' total package, but certainly not the overwhelming characteristic (usually, I think of things like being intense, being really sweet, being sports-obsessed, being quirky, etc). I will admit that they have fit in to "traditional" schooling with mixed degrees of comfort, but I certainly don't feel that they need some special accomodation to get through life.  Anyway, I guess what I'm asking is - do you (and others) find the "labeling"  offensive or presumptive when there isn't necessarily the achievement to back it up?  It's weird, because I do think being PG weighs heavily on my oldest (in terms of her interactions with others, her personality, etc) yet with my youngest, who has never been tested but probably PG in terms of test numbers (and has more achievements/awards to back it up) I pretty much never describe him as gifted because that doesn't seem to be a big part of who he is. IDK - anyway, I'm curious for more information on how you view that. I don't, BTW, go around in real life talking about the kids being gifted and I think they're fairly humble.

As far as the board, I have been simply unable to login almost every time I've tried. I've kept up on reading but haven't been able to reply. I have no idea what is going on...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2002
Mon, 01-07-2013 - 12:37pm

I used to post on this board but medical issues have taken priority over gifted issues for us.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-1999
Fri, 01-04-2013 - 11:03pm

Me too, Turtletime.  I have liked the group that's contributed here for the respect we've shown each other and for the realistic approach to giftedness as well.  I also agree that there is a tendency online in general for parents of younger children especially to view their kids as profoundly gifted and worry about the implications of this label based on criteria those of us who are "older folk" don't use so much.  It's not a judgment and I do understand how isolating it can feel to have a child who seems so out of step but it can make for a more difficult interaction.  It's also interesting that so many people seem to disappear when their children move into older elementary school and it's one of the things I like about this board.  We have a diversity of ages represented and a range of temperaments/abilities/issues as well.

Avatar for turtletime
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-1998
Fri, 01-04-2013 - 1:49pm

I wasn't talking about this board specifically. What I have liked in the, gasp, 13 years I've been here, is that the membership was more balanced and realistic of their own child and their abilities as well as appreciative of the abilities of others. That's why I keep checking in lol.

The question was about the online gifted community as a whole. I don't think the demographics have actually changed, just the definition of profoundly gifted. 10 years ago, the term was reserved for the handful of 10-year-olds going to college and the likes.... truly extreme cases. Now I see it used with 3rd graders who are only working 2 years ahead but whose parents, having read up on profound giftedness, are certain that their child will never fit in anywhere ever. It's difficult to discuss anything when the mismatch between personal understandings of giftedness is so different. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2010
Fri, 01-04-2013 - 4:16am

I can't read replies or post a reply using my mobile phone, which puts a lot of limits on how active I can be here. My time in front of a desktop is limited to working time, which obviously I can't spend here to any great extent, or the odd evening I actually have time to sit in front of the computer.

I don't see much talk about the level of giftedness here, per se, and I'm not sure it would bother me if I did. Obviously you're going to see a higher number of posters with unusual issues (like dealing with the special needs of profoundly gifted children) in an internationally accessible forum. The whole "level" discussion seems to be more of a cultural issue. While there is a difference between the issues facing the accelerated learner and the gifted learner, I can't see why both of their needs can't be met here. I admit it bothers me when I see online resentment aimed at other children who are too goal-oriented or who are not "really" gifted, or at parents who obviously must be "pushing" their children. As a parent of a child with different learning needs, you're already facing a host of stereotypes and prejudgements from people who don't know you or your child very well, which is probably why you're seeking an online outlet for issues and questions to begin with.

Aside from that, I can say that I personally have a lot of issues with my child that I can't address alone or in my community. One reason why I don't post more often here is because I still get the feeling that what I have to say is hard to believe and something most people can't relate to. Also, the focus on academics and the American educational system (testing, IEP's, grade skipping, etc.) is something I can't really weigh in on. This is not a complaint, I'm just saying where I'm coming from.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2005
Thu, 01-03-2013 - 6:22pm

I still prefer to keep it online, so as not to seem braggy about my kid or make others feel bad if their kids are not doing well in that way.

Gwen

http://i218.photobucket.com/albums/cc248/gwennyc/b6yfcl.png<A href="http://s218.photobucket

Avatar for turtletime
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-1998
Thu, 01-03-2013 - 5:46pm
I check into another that is more active but it's a pretty young crowd.... mostly toddlers to 3rd grade. Once in awhile there is a good discussion on general giftedness and education but when you have tweens and teens, it can be hard to connect. I believe the focus on "level" of giftedness has hurt the community. So many online claim profoundly gifted children. It's a turn-off for those who have been online awhile and use more traditional breakdowns and I think chases off others who are seeking help but may feel they don't belong. I find in my real community, more people talk openly about giftedness too. It's a little surprising sometimes. Maybe parents don't feel so isolated as they once did?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2001
Thu, 01-03-2013 - 9:50am

While I think the board problems have really affected iVillage, it seems most of the "gifted" boards are not as lively as they once were.  Do you find any that are very active or interesting?  Perhaps it is all on social media not boards at this point?  I miss the discussions and even occasional arguments about gifted education, the best path for these kids, and how to navigate the system.  Not sure if parents are happier, or just have other outlets. 

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