Choices good and bad...

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Registered: 05-13-1998
Choices good and bad...
Wed, 07-13-2011 - 11:16am

We all know that parenting is an endless sea of choices made by parents and by the kids themselves. In reguards to your children, what choices have been the hardest? What choices are you grateful were made? What choices do you regret? Are their any choices you were questionable about but in the long run, proved to be positive? How about your kids? What choices have they made about their own education and future that have been particularly successful?

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Registered: 02-14-2009
Sun, 07-24-2011 - 7:17am

The hardest choice concerning my oldest has been to step to a 'free' parenting style for her. I have lots of ideas about what's good, what's not, what's desirable, what's fun. But she's the incarnation of independence, and as hard as I found it, swallowing my worries and fears and giving her that independence was the best choice I made. By the time she was 9 she'd bike to her violin classes or singing group, she'd be home alone for 1 or 2 hours, do her own things in her own time... With every bit of 'independence' she gained, I saw her grown and come into balance. And still this is the case. It's hard sometimes when people who don't know her judge me on my parenting style, but I just try to let them see the difference between an indifferent parenting style, and a parenting style which tries to fit to your child's character. The independence L gets makes her a disciplined, hard-working, but most of all self-motivated young woman.

The hardest choice concerning my middle DD has been the two grade skips. Together with her teacher (which happened to be the same one both times, once in K, once in grade 5) we contemplated and contemplated what to do, what would be best, what could be problematic or not etc. In the end the choice was ours of course, and we made it, and how good it has been! Y feels right at home, and this year, so dreaded before (she was 9/10 yrs old in a school full of 12-18 yr olds), has been nothing but good for her!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2010
Wed, 07-13-2011 - 8:50pm
The hardest choice was deciding on a school. My kids speak more than one language, and the language of the country where we live is not spoken at home. So we had to find a school that would both nurture their development in their mother tongue and offer mother-tongue level instruction in the other language. The thing is, we actually speak three languages at home, although YDD speaks very little of the third for reasons I'll get into later. So we had a choice between a private school offering bilingual instruction with heavy emphasis on mother tongue, a public school offering bilingual instruction equally focusing on two languages, or another public school offering bilingual instruction in my DH's language and the language spoken here. It was a tough call because I knew ODD needed emphasis on the weakest language- the one her father speaks. But I wasn't comfortable with the idea that she would be learning how to read in her weakest language. Normally the approach is to start off reading in your native language and then move on to other languages. We finally decided on the public bilingual school which offered her mother tongue as one of the languages. I am very, very glad we did so. It's a good school and my kids are happy there.
I regret teaching ODD how to make homemade Egg McMuffins. ;) but my kids are still young, so I probably have a couple more years before more serious regrets set in.
My kids tend to make good decisions for themselves. ODD decided she wanted to play violin and jumped into group lessons on her own. Both DDs choose their activities and tend to be committed to them.