OT- discussion on public shaming...
Find a Conversation
OT- discussion on public shaming...
| Thu, 11-03-2011 - 12:30pm |
This isn't directly gifted related... just a conversation DD 14 and I have been having.
So tell me, why is it that the most reliable and responsible are those more often publically shamed and held as "an example" on those rare occasions they faulter? Recent situation, DD is rehearsing a community theatre show for which she's been the ONLY person to be present every single rehearsal (and that includes the director and support staff.) However, she did have one conflict that was given to the staff prior to auditioning. When she reminded the staff
Latest from the board
- Brag thread, spring 2013 edition 11
- WWYD Medical ? - Attendance at teen conference? 13
- Need guidance for a little one 6
- IEP was this morning 6
- OT - Clothing for thin children? 8
- Cute things your gifted kids say 6
- Newly tested gifted sisters.Where do we go from here? 8
- Criticism from my older son 8
- Dungeons and Dragons Equivalent 9
- Roll call... 20
Memeber Support
Visit our Member Support area or browse the iVillage Help forum
| Q: | Where can I change my password? |
| A: | Log in, go to Edit My Preferences, and click the Account tab. Make and save your changes. |
I'm really not a cynical person, but I've seen this enough to believe that some people are threatened by
OTOH, I also think personality plays a part in hearing these messages. I have one kid that would be very frustrated and upset in your dd's situation and another that would bascially think it was the directors problem, since he had already told him, and not give it a second thought. I am probably more like the former, as I hear the negative comments much more loudly than the positive ones.
It is often true that expectations are different for different kids in a class, an activity or even in a family. It is probably impossible to judge every kid by the same standard and keep expectations high, but it is equally unfair to hold certain kids to a very high standard with no room for error. In this case, it was certainly completely unfair of the director to make an issue over a conflict that was previously accepted.
I suppose we've just been lucky but neither I nor my kids have experienced this sort of thing as far as I can remember. It sounds dreadfully unfair and very frustrating.
Miranda
Miranda
in rural BC, Canada
mom to three great kids and one great grown-up
unschooler, violist, runner, doc
Why is it that the most reliable of us are also the most abomished for our mistakes?
I don't know that we've necessarily seen "shaming," but I do know that you mean. I truly think that gifted kids experience it more than most, lots of times with the "potential versus actual" stuff... So, your 4th grader works his butt off on a book report and does ten times more than the next kid, but the teacher says, "next time, you need to choose a more challenging book" (never mind that it was a 7th grade level and some kids are reading "Junie B Jones")... or your 10th grader aces a math test after really working hard, and the teacher says, "well, I would have expected no less" as if it took no effort.
And I also think that teachers and coaches and bosses really count on certain kids... you know, the ones who always show up, and can always be counted on to have their work done,
I'm sorry that your daughter had this happen to her.