tiger mom

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Registered: 09-13-1999
tiger mom
11
Wed, 02-02-2011 - 9:05am

I'm wondering if you've all heard of Amy Chua's book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2001
In reply to: weedosmom
Wed, 02-02-2011 - 12:22pm

Thanks for posting about this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-1998
In reply to: weedosmom
Wed, 02-02-2011 - 1:22pm

I haven't read the book, only articles and seen some interviews. Certainly, I disagree with

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Registered: 05-18-2005
In reply to: weedosmom
Wed, 02-02-2011 - 2:25pm

The controversy over this has overlapped with heated debate in our area over whether or not there is too much seatwork/homework for 4 and 5-year-olds in our public school.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2006
In reply to: weedosmom
Wed, 02-02-2011 - 3:47pm
A middle path...or even a completely different path. My daughters are "unschooled" and both are highly motivated and competent and adventurous and independent. My 13 yo has more sense of personal direction than I did until I was about 30, actually...

But to answer the question, I'm not sure than anyone in my area cares about Amy Chua's book....it falls into the category of things that crazy easterners inflict upon themselves, like waiting in line to sign their kids up for exclusive preschools so both parents can work 70 hours a week so that they can afford a one bedroom apartment with a big pantry that can be turned into the kid's nursery, as some of my friends did.

Deborah
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Registered: 01-05-2005
In reply to: weedosmom
Wed, 02-02-2011 - 4:39pm

I haven't read the book, but I've seen a number of interviews and read excerpts and I honestly don't want to read more about her. She sounds awful, imho, regardless of the "backing off" (in part because her "backing off" is worse than my most pressuring mom mode). I think that what I disliked most of all was her view that she could "turn her kids into prodigies." And that's where I fear the backlash and bad opinions. Too many teachers and parents take the view that prodigies are "made" instead of "born." Don't get me wrong; I have always praised effort more than ability, because let's face it, that's what is going to make a child successful in the long run, but... I think it hurts gifted children everywhere to agree with Amy Chua's notion (and this is what I got from watching interviews with her) that "every child can excel" and "every child can be the best." Ummmm... no, they really can't. For example, my son will never be a musical "prodigy" - he has a horrible ear, no sense of rhythm, and has OT challenges which make bowing his bass dificult. Now, otoh, our dd20 started the violin in 5th grade, and by 6th grade, has surpassed every kid in her school, some of whom started at age 3 and practiced daily for years. By 7th grade, her private teacher wanted her to find someone higher level and to think about what we needed to do if she wanted to go professional. Our ds8 is two grades ahead in math and has had perfect scores on every test this year except for one 97%... and he barely devotes any time to schoolwork, much prefering to discuss the prospects of the Bears (perhaps the Cubs now that the Bears are out of the playoffs). Now, I'm not saying that I don't encourage the kids (someone had to get the violin, pay for lessons, explain to the first-grade teacher that ds was bored, etc). All I'm saying is that NOTHING good comes out of teachers and other parents believing that this is all MY doing. When Amy Chua says that she's going to have a preschooler practice for 2-3 hours a day on an instrument that SHE the mother chooses... that doesn't say "developing talent" to me... that says crazy. And the idea of rejecting a birthday card made for me

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-1999
In reply to: weedosmom
Wed, 02-02-2011 - 5:24pm

Theresa, I could not agree more.

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Registered: 02-14-2009
In reply to: weedosmom
Fri, 02-04-2011 - 4:45pm

Hmmm... well... interesting discussion. I've read multiple researches that say that

Suzanne
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2006
In reply to: weedosmom
Sat, 02-05-2011 - 1:33pm
I seem to remember seeing youtube videos of your daughters a couple of years ago...I was struck by their musicality. I don't think it's possible for a child without a fair amount (ok, a lot) of musical aptitude to handle the technical demands of virtuoso violin literature as a preteen...that said, I know a bunch of adults who gave up their instruments as soon as they were old enough to defy Mom. I don't mean that Mom should not suggest practicing. In our house the best way to get the instruments come out is for ME to go practice...works wonders.

Anyway, I''ve seen too many adults who "missed the boat" as children yet went on to became top notch professional musicians, to believe that a child who isn't on a three hour a day schedule of mom enforced practicing from the age of three is doomed to the ranks of neverwouldabeens. My best student started at the age of twelve and would have made a permanent mark as a bluegrass musician...but he died last year a few month before his seventeenth birthday, because all that talent didn't keep him from playing "the choking game". Life is fleeting...why spend it making one of the most sublime of the things that humans do into a grinding competition that pits our kids against each other?

Deborah
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-1999
In reply to: weedosmom
Sat, 02-05-2011 - 1:51pm
So beautifully said.

I'm so sorry about your student.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2009
In reply to: weedosmom
Sun, 02-06-2011 - 6:55pm
Deborah, how terrible. Such a waste, for any 16 yr old... And ITA on your last sentence.
Suzanne

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