what made you decide to home or cyberschool?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2000
what made you decide to home or cyberschool?
17
Mon, 10-22-2012 - 7:08pm

If it's personal, I understand...I'm just curious.  I am encountering some issues at my dd's high school right now that have me considering...mainly drug use by other kids in the open.  This is really upsetting my child.    My husband keeps saying that pulling her out of school will not teach her how to deal with life.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2012
Sat, 10-27-2012 - 5:52pm
I totally agree with Vegiemama! I recently read an article about this and it mentioned that by giving kids the opportunity to spend their school years as part of a strong and loving family, we give them the space, support, and security they need to become strong, positive, can-do people. This is a much more effective way to help kids learn to deal with the real world than sending them off to conventional schools to learn to be tough and fight back as perhaps the principal way of dealing with the real world. Also, by choosing homeschooling, we give our kids the opportunity to grow and learn in the real world, rather than isolating them in the artificial world of a conventional school. Homeschooled children see the world as it really is: people of all different ages interacting, more cooperation and less of the competition that characterizes conventional schools, opportunities for people of all ages to learn what they need to know and what interests them. In my opinion, homeschoolers are more than prepared for the real world--they've already had a lot of experience living there and have learned a great deal in the process! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2000
Wed, 10-31-2012 - 7:58am

I have to say...I was always against homeschooling, because I used to agree with my husband, that they would not learn how to deal with socialization.  However, after doing research and talking to parents like the ones on this board, I have to say I've GREATLY changed my opinion.  I've reached the point where if my dd specifically asked me, I would have her cyberschooled.  However, do any of you have an only child, and do any of you work?  If yes to both, doesn't your only get lonely?  That is a big concern for me.  Right now, I am working from home, but that is not going to last much longer, and I will have to find a job outside of the house at that time.

Avatar for vegiemama
Community Leader
Registered: 01-06-2000
Wed, 10-31-2012 - 8:14am

reneegavin wrote:
<p>I have to say...I was always against homeschooling, because I used to agree with my husband, that they would not learn how to deal with socialization.  However, after doing research and talking to parents like the ones on this board, I have to say I've GREATLY changed my opinion.  I've reached the point where if my dd specifically asked me, I would have her cyberschooled.  However, do any of you have an only child, and do any of you work?  If yes to both, doesn't your only get lonely?  That is a big concern for me.  Right now, I am working from home, but that is not going to last much longer, and I will have to find a job outside of the house at that time.</p>

I am an only and I was hsed, and no, I did not get lonely.  I was heavily involved in music (well, still am, but that's a whole nother story, LOL).  I had friends at the university where I studied.  I taught, so I had little people friends plus their parents. I volunteered at the hospital and other opportunities as they arose. Sometimes I had to get rid of friends so I had time to study, LOL.  J/k, didn't get rid of them...but the social opportunities weren't hard to find.

I do work f/t outside the home, but my kids aren't onlies, though I think sometimes my son feels like he is, when dd gets busy doing stuff and isn't home much!  They do spend time at home, sometimes alone, sometimes together.  Usually their dad is here sleeping (he works nights) and my parents live next door, so there's grandparent interaction as well.  So they might be alone but not really alone.  They have their schoolwork and practicing and yardwork and chores, and plenty of free time as well.

Hopefully if/when you have to get a job outside the home, your schedule will still be conducive to hsing and to having time with your dd.


Sue
Homeschooling mom to DD15 & DS11

CL of Homeschooling, Signature Showcase, Ectopic Loss, and Fertility Charting

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Wed, 10-31-2012 - 11:41am

reneegavin wrote:
<p>I have to say...I was always against homeschooling, because I used to agree with my husband, that they would not learn how to deal with socialization.  However, after doing research and talking to parents like the ones on this board, I have to say I've GREATLY changed my opinion.  I've reached the point where if my dd specifically asked me, I would have her cyberschooled.  However, do any of you have an only child, and do any of you work?  If yes to both, doesn't your only get lonely?  That is a big concern for me.  Right now, I am working from home, but that is not going to last much longer, and I will have to find a job outside of the house at that time.</p>

It's all going to depend on the only and the family.  My son is an only because he is 13-20 years younger than his sisters and has been the only child in the home for years.  He says that he has 2 moms, one aunt, and one sister in describing his relationships with his sisters.

But back to your question.  Growing up, Dylan was more comfortable with adults and older children than with his peers.  In part because that is what he grew up with.  But he was never interested in what the other kids were interested in.  Now that he is home schooled (public school until 6th grade, home school through charter school; he's now in 9th) and older, he is getting more comfortable with other teens.  I think because they are all becoming adults.  He eats lunch at the charter school on the days that he has classes there (Biology 2 days and Art one day).  He is now active in the youth group at church as well (Sundays and 2 Wednesday evenings a month).  That is enough for him.  Otherwise, he drives me crazy with play by play accounts of his computer games (he loves strategy war games).  All three of his sister live within blocks  of us (two are married with children) so we see them frequently.  He gets to interact with his brothers-in-law and his 2 nephews and 3 nieces as well as his sisters.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
Thu, 11-01-2012 - 10:47am

I have an only.  I do not work.  DS struggles with kids his age as his interests and intellect is at a completely different level.  He plays with older kids as he is reading the same books as they, and thinking about the same types of life issues (ex: how did society accept slavery, why is there evil, why is life a cycle).  Other kids his age are just not there.

I can expand my parenting choices as well as allowing him to pursue his interests.  DS has NEVER had separation anxiety because his parental needs are met (having these needs met gives him a strong sense of independence).  He's never competed for my time.  You would think he'd be overly dependent upon me.  I make sure he has 2 hours each day to do his own thing (we aren't out running errands, cleaning house, etc.)  It is a high priority for us.  It gives us both a break and it gives him the opportunity to learn to be on his own - without me.  There are days in which he will say - 'Mom, I have a project I want to do.  I am not sure I will finish it in the 2 hours.  So I may work late today.  Just to let you know.'  He's 5!

The social piece is the more challenging part of homeschool when you have an only.  We take classes, we host classes and events, we are active in the church, we seek volunteer opportunities, we seek playdate opportunities.  I base how much socialization he gets on his needs at the time.  As he gets older, he needs more, so we create those opportunities.  An example of a leadership role he takes on when we homeschool, he has a reading group for itty-bitty's he does periodically where he reads books to the kids.  He LOVES this and would not have that opportunity in a school.  He's decided he wants to write books.  So we are currently looking for a creative writing group or class.  If we don't find one, we'll create one.  I think creating those opportunities is one of the best learning experiences the child can get.  It's a HUGE advantage to homeschooling.

Another example:  he's learning the concept of money right now.  Not just how to count it, but the role it plays in society.  He wants to expand that by 'Selling Stuff".  We've done some pretend play of selling stuff and board games on this premise.  But he wants to see how it plays in society 'for real!'.  So we started looking in the community.  A local church is holding a yard sale.  We volunteered him (and me!) to man one of the tables for several hours.  By following his lead and interest, we found him a volunteer opportunity (community service skill) which will help him practice money (math), observe money's role to a small extent, negotiation (business),  AND be a positive social experience.  This is the type of thing that gets us all excited about homeschooling.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Thu, 11-01-2012 - 11:45am

I skipped the second part of your question about working.  I'm a professional dressmaker, specializing in bridal and period clothing for reenactors.  Every since Dylan was born, I have had a great deal of flexability in my work schedule.  I changed jobs when he was 6 months old in order to have that flexability.  When we decided on homeschooling starting in 6th grade, I changed my work hours so we could have mornings for school and afternoons for work.  He went with me to work at the bridal shop and finished up his school work there.  He could also walk to the library or the Boys and Girls Club from the shop.  When he started 7th grade, I switched to working at home.  We still have math and language arts in the morning (and now Biology 2 mornings a week at the school campus and art one afternoon) and history in the afternoons.  I work 5-6 hours a day (afternoons and evenings), 5 days a week and 6-8 hours on Saturday for a total of 40 hours a week.  Dylan can interupt me for questions and discussions.  He has a desk in my sewing room and can work in there if he wants to.  Otherwise, he works all over the house.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
Sun, 01-06-2013 - 11:50pm

There are biases against homeschooling that are deeply entrenched, such as that homeschoolers are weird and unsocialized, sheltered and don't know how to deal with the real world, etc. but they are based mostly on ignorance and people repeating stereotypes without ever delving into the matter personally, enough to find out. It also seems to be a common thing with fathers fearing that their kids will be coddled, or "soft" if not sent to school. There are lots of homeschooling forums and sites where you can join in and find out what people are talking about, and I'm sure you are already aware of them, but secular homeschooling dot com is a good one for those whose interest in homeschooling is not based on religious preferences. You aren't the first person to ask these questions, and you might find the answers others have found, somewhat reassuring.

As for school equating to the "real world" I have to reference all the years in school when we were all told that once we were finally out of school, then we'd be in the "real world" and would then, and only then, start learning how to handle ourselves in it, and boy would it be a rude awakening! 

Homeschooled kids can start getting experience at volunteering, job-shadowing, apprenticing, traveling, building things, etc. as soon as they are old enough in certain cases, to do so legally (job experience and apprenticeships have laws about the age of the kid).

Our reasons for homeschooling were initially because of the stories of several teachers we knew about how things were in school and how different it was from when we were there as kids.

But it grew to include adacemic reasons (the writing skills, math skills, science knowledge, and general life skills of local schooled kids does not impress me at all), and then social reasons.

We've got about every reason except religious ones.

 

-Meg

Loving life as an 0ver-35 mom and Postal Wife, homeschooling, urban homesteading, relaxed crunchy/geek hybrid housewife, trying to live consciously in an age of media hypnosis

<a href="http://lilypie.com

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