How much time do young adults spend w/ parents?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
How much time do young adults spend w/ parents?
11
Thu, 10-13-2011 - 12:36pm

I was listening to my DD vent about one of her college friends who she thinks spends too much time w/ her parents/extended family.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006

It seems odd to me, too, for a mother to be going to the beach with her young adult child; and to have to return home so early for a cousin's BD party.

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http://www.pnhp.org/news/2009/october/meet_the_new_health_.php

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
First off, I don't think the only child thing has anything to do with it. I'm an only, as is ds19. Neither of us are like this girl you're describing. Maybe it's a personality thing. Maybe she just is very partial or good friends with that cousin. And ITA, the beach thing is weird. My mom and I used to go to movies, out to eat, shopping (my dad traveled a lot), etc. but yes, I did spend more time with friends in my late teens/college age. Same with ds19.

Sue
Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Thu, 10-13-2011 - 10:29pm

The amount of time our kids spent with us (after they had moved out) varied. (neither kid lives in my city anymore). If they weren't spending a lot of time working we seemed to see a bit more of them. They both have full social lives so time with the parents seemed to be fit around friends, work, and other committments. Sometimes we had to invite them to dinner just to see them LOL. That's what I expected at that stage of their lives. Eventually they'll be more settled and we'll see or hear from them more then...probably.

The mom accompanying her dd to the beach sounds odd to me too.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Thu, 10-13-2011 - 11:08pm

It all depends on the relationship the family members have.  Both kids have always said, they see us more than a lot of their friends see their parents, but then,

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-1999
Sat, 10-15-2011 - 11:01am

I have friends with kids like that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000

I think it really just depends on the family and personalities of the young adults. When Jason comes home every few weeks he spends a lot of time with us; in fact he and his fiancee probably spend more time here than they do at her house. We usually text 2-3x a week and talk 1-2x a week. Justin lives with us so we see him every day; he usually eats dinner with us 4-5 nights a week but is often either with his gf or down playing WOW so besides dinner we don't often spend a lot of time interacting with him. DH's sister has 3 girls ages 21, 22, and 23 and they each call her multiple times a day - it's just something that she's always expected and they've always done. One of her dd's lives at home, one goes to school about 90 minutes away and the other about 7 hours away. The one that goes 90 minutes away goes home every weekend to work and to spend time at home. I don't think they love their folks more than the boys love us, it's just a different relationship. We never expected the boys to be in constant contact with us when they weren't physically with us (although I'm sure if more than 4-5 days went by without hearing from Jason I'd be sending a text or calling him).

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

DD mentioned that she had one other friend from school who went home every weekend--now I went to college only 1 hr away from home but by senior year I only went home on holidays & vacations.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006

In September a friend of mine went to a wedding in Boston.

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http://www.pnhp.org/news/2009/october/meet_the_new_health_.php

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Sat, 10-15-2011 - 11:05pm

This is the situation older dd & her bf are in now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006

The housing crisis does really complicate things, doesn't it?

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http://www.pnhp.org/news/2009/october/meet_the_new_health_.php

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM

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