There's a reason....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
There's a reason....
10
Mon, 06-13-2011 - 11:26pm

... that the wedding is supposed to come BEFORE the baby!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-1999
Tue, 06-14-2011 - 12:45am
My dd doesn't seem to be much into planning her wedding either, and she has no excuse other than she's working full time and commuting an hour and a half from our home until she moves to Portland in the middle of July. I made the mistake of suggesting she try on her dress before she leaves so that if it needs anything she can bring it for alterations before she goes. She got irritated with me, saying she's tried it on several times (a bit of an exaggeration, I think, since it's been in my house since she bought it) and "it's fine!". It seemed a little long to me, but she says it's fine with shoes...which she doesn't have yet. I also recall her sister having to get a button done on hers so that the train can be pinned up, but this one says "I'll hold my dress - I don't care, and I don't want to waste money on some silly alteration I don't need!". She is the flip-opposite of her sister, who planned every little detail! She's also kind of grouchy tonight - maybe had a bad day at work!

I can understand the part about Nicki and Tim already feeling married, and the ambivalence about having a wedding. She does seem to be welcoming of your help, though, which is nice. I'm jealous! :-/

                        Calmama54, from the beautiful


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Tue, 06-14-2011 - 6:57am

Yes, she does accept my help in planning her wedding - in act, I think she'd turn it ALL over to me if she could trust that I'd make choices that she'd like.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 06-14-2011 - 3:43pm

Well I can see why Tim has little interest in the wedding--maybe he's never been to one?

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Tue, 06-14-2011 - 6:05pm

Rose, unless you've guaranteed the hall 100 people, I would tell her honestly: We can still have the church and the reception and the DJ, but it's going to be for immediate family only--25 people or so--and family-style catering.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Tue, 06-14-2011 - 10:22pm

That has crossed my mind sabrtooth - EXCEPT I come from a family of 9 kids, DH comes from a family of 6 kids, so if we were to limit it to just grandparents, aunts, uncles, close cousins and siblings, we'd still be looking at a party for around 60!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-1999
Wed, 06-15-2011 - 1:25am
That's a pretty big wedding! I think ours will end up being about 80 people. Has your dd picked "colors" ? What do the bridesmaid dresses look like? My dd told her girls to pick a dress from David's Bridal in her color (plum - it's called "lapis" at DB), but had them all pick styles that they felt suited them best and fit their price range. It worked out pretty well, particularly since a couple of her bridesmaids live in Oregon and couldn't come down to shop with the rest of the group.

How lucky you are to have the grandparents who are willing and able to care for the baby! That way they get the best of both worlds - a chance to introduce their son to the family/friends, but also time to celebrate themselves. It sounds like things are slowly moving along - yay!

As far as the bustle goes - yup, I totally agree. Any suggestions how I can open this subject up again without her feeling like I'm badgering her? I'm thinking her sister may be able to convince her more than me. She talks about her dress like it's not a "big deal" if it drags around a little, since she'll never wear it again - but I'm more worried about her tripping on it or catching a heel! She thinks there isn't much of a train to deal with, but here's the photo: http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Allover-lace-A-line-gown-with-beaded-motif-detail-WG9821_Bridal-Gowns-Shop-By-Silhouette-A-Line. I definitely see a train there!

                        Calmama54, from the beautiful


Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Wed, 06-15-2011 - 1:53am

I'm a little confused as to why "you" are ordering the bridesmaids dresses.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Wed, 06-15-2011 - 7:30am

I definitely see a train there - one that is long enough for her or her groom to step on/trip over, but short enough that it could be a pain in the backside to carry all night.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Wed, 06-15-2011 - 8:00am

We'll be ordering the dresses through an online source with a number of physical stores in the US and a pretty good reputation in bridal magazines and websites that wil save us about 25% on the dresses.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 06-15-2011 - 11:46am

That's a very pretty dress.