Choosing a college faaaaar away

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
Choosing a college faaaaar away
34
Tue, 04-19-2011 - 7:15pm

Hi Everyone

It's been awhile since I've visited this board.

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Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Tue, 04-19-2011 - 8:02pm
Not exactly BTDT but I can say that ds18 and I had issues in the last couple years he was in HS, but now that he's away in college (albeit 7 miles away; he stays on campus and doesn't come home that much) we're in more contact (and better, more like it used to be) than when he was home. Also not sure one semester is enough to prove oneself - it's a big step (at least for some, like mine) to be on their own and learning to be away, fending totally for themselves, etc. JMHO.

Sue
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Tue, 04-19-2011 - 9:55pm

It's tough to see your child go that far away when you're not sure they're ready. My boys each went to school 3 hours away. Youngest one wasn't ready but sometimes they have to figure that out. I'd definitely sit down and have the talk again - pros and cons of being so far away. Definitely don't let him have a care there first year if you're not comfortable with it. In reality - he'll probably have some type of fall break about 6 weeks into the semester, then Thanksgiving a month later and Christmas a month after that. So you'll see him more than you might think. And in a crisis - you can get to him in 4 1/2 hours. Only thing I'd do differently is give him a year to prove himself. Sometimes kids will relish the freedom first semester and then get a reality check and buckle down. Those are the ones that are probably going to do fine once they get used to the excitement of being on their own.. Others like my son will do fine first semester and then let it fall apart after that... Best of luck and keep us posted!

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-1999
Tue, 04-19-2011 - 11:10pm

I understand how you feel.

                        Calmama54, from the beautiful


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2009
Tue, 04-19-2011 - 11:34pm

Hi ((Cathy)),

Bravo to your boy for his acceptance! Any one from his high school going to the same school? Has he gone to prom yet?

I believe when my two left home, the same questions you are asking is why

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2009
Tue, 04-19-2011 - 11:42pm

Hi Calmama,

What is this... your daughter is moving back to Oregon?

Did she take a job transfer?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-1999
Wed, 04-20-2011 - 2:17am
Hi Elle - the short answers are...yes, and no. It's late and I have to work tomorrow but I promise I will post my update re: both my girls in the next few days!

                        Calmama54, from the beautiful


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Wed, 04-20-2011 - 7:38am

Hugs to you mom, it's hard when that young one decides to leave the nest with a huge leap rather than a little step... but the maturing process seems to go a whole lot faster when they are far enough away that they have to figure out their own problems rather than have mom and dad "fix" it because they are close by.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
Wed, 04-20-2011 - 8:21am

Thanks everyone. I knew I'd get some good advice from all of you!

I think my son likes the idea of a big college vs small is because he like that feeling of anonymity which I totally get. Likes to be a face in the crowd. He is a lot like me but I don't think I could have ever moved that far from home when I was his age.

He will be going on his own. Our neighbor was actually accepted and considering going up to the same school but he has since changed his mind. I thought would deter my son but it hasn't. He tends to follow a lot but also has some good leadership qualities...captain of two sports but likes to follow the crowd so I am a little surprised that he is deciding to go on his own. There are literally a dozen kids from his class going to his first choice school which is less that 2hrs away. One of the reasons I feel concerned about him going to this particular school is that I wonder if he isn't choosing to go because he sees it's a "step up" from some of the other colleges his friends are going to (his opinion not mine as I went to one of those schools myself). Anyway,there is still the possibility that he may go to #1 if he gets accepted. We will just have to wait and see.

It is so true that you really can't tell what the right fit is until you have lived it. My dd is an example of that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Wed, 04-20-2011 - 8:40am

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Same with me and our second DS.

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http://www.pnhp.org/news/2009/october/meet_the_new_health_.php

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2006
Wed, 04-20-2011 - 10:32am
I just wanted to jump in because my son is also a senior and has chosen a school that is 2000 miles away. He chose a small State school that specializes in his interest over the huge in-state school that offers everything and that roughly 75 kids per year from his hs attend. I am really surprised by his decision, and a little worried. To be honest I wasn't that worried until I read your post. The in-state school is 3+ hours away so it is not like we would be dropping in to visit. Plus our in-state school costs are outrageous ($26,000) so with the scholarship he received the out of state costs are actually more doable. I just keep telling myself that there are 10+ direct flights daily to an airport that is 50 minutes from my son. If I need to get there I can. I also don't have to worry about him driving in bad weather because he won't be. The world just seems so much smaller now that I am not really too worried about the distance. Get back to me in late August and see if I still feel the same way or if I am a nervous wreck - LOL.

Robin

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