Final grades are in!! She failed three classes!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Final grades are in!! She failed three classes!
23
Sun, 12-18-2011 - 4:22pm

UGH!! As midterms she swore she was doing extra credit and had talked to the english professor about regrading a couple papers. Chemistry we knew was going to be iffy..but 3!!??!! GEEZ!! So I'm guessing the college will put her on academic suspension. I just don't know what to do with her!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2006
Sun, 12-18-2011 - 8:43pm
Oh that stinks. I am really sorry. That is very frustrating. All I can say is that a lot of kids have a really rough start and then eventually pull it together. We haven't received my son's grades here yet and I am keeping my fingers crossed.
Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Sun, 12-18-2011 - 9:13pm
Does she really want to be there and have goals for what she wants to do after college? Does she feel she's in over her head? Did she take too heavy a load while getting used to college? I'm assuming this was first semester? Will she level with you about what's going on? Good luck - last year was freshman year for ds, and it definitely didn't go the greatest, but this year is going much better.

Sue
Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Sun, 12-18-2011 - 9:14pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-1999
Mon, 12-19-2011 - 9:45am
I've got 20 years working with at-risk college freshman under my belt. Yes, sometimes they blow it first semester. Some will pull it together and succeed, but many others will try again, not change the behaviors that landed them on academic probation, and drop out. So, how do you know where your own D will wind up?

Suzy's questions are right on the money. You need to find out if she's really, emotionally, ready for college. Understand, though, she may not be able to articulate the answers to Suzy's questions.

What to do with her. I don't know what your financial sitation is, but college is expensive. Does she have loans? Can you afford to let her try again next semester if you're not certain things will change? Her statements at mid-term could be read as warnings to you. College professors typically don't regrade papers or give extra credit. She either isn't understanding how college works or she's not being honest with you, and maybe even herself, about her efforts.

I'm not a yank her out of school and put her to work advocate. Is there a community college she could try for a while? Build her GPA back up and live at home where there will be fewer social distractions?
Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Mon, 12-19-2011 - 9:45am

Does she want to be in school to get a degree, or just for the experience of being out of the house?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Mon, 12-19-2011 - 10:30am

I had one of those although he did fine his first semester away from home; it was his 2nd semester that he failed every class but one. I'd have a long, serious talk with your dd. If you are willing and can afford to let her try again 2nd semester I'd make it clear that if she doesn't get her act together it will be her last semester at that school. I'd also make her give you her logon information so you can check her grades. Justin insisted he was doing 'fine' and since he was an 'adult' we had no way of knowing otherwise although we began to suspect by April or so. If a student really wants to succeed in college they usually can if they put in the work. There are usually lots of tutoring opportunities, study groups, professors have office hours, etc. Good luck and keep us posted on how your chat with her goes.

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-1999
Mon, 12-19-2011 - 7:14pm

I started my guys in first year classes at the local community college. Gave them time to grow up a bit and still as a parent I had an eye on them. My guys both say that they werent ready to move to the big city right out of high school, both are farm boys. Got them started and it went rather well. I made it clear that if they partied away my money, they would have to pay me back, every nickle. I actually stepped on them pretty hard and gave them my expectations. I think the problem in part is that there is such peer pressure to go to school after hs. Many kids just dont know what they want to do. If she isnt sure what she wants to do, she should get a job or go to school at community college and live at home to save the costs. Every kid that I know that went to school the first year at community college where I live, continued to succeed and their parents are the ones that gave me the low down on how it works. Lots of kids are Christmas graduates, but I wouldnt give up on her that quickly. Sometimes just working at a low paying job is the biggest incentive to get them going. Hugs to you, sometimes being a parent is not easy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Tue, 12-20-2011 - 7:49am
kittyminou wrote:

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Tue, 12-20-2011 - 8:20am

Community college is a good idea for students who are not doing well at a 4-yr institution, and also for many who are capable of excelling at a university.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2009
Tue, 12-20-2011 - 5:30pm
I am sorry to hear this. College could not be for her, at least not now. Chemistry? Did she take it in high school? She might not have the "head" for chemistry. Not everyone does and if she was "iffy" to start with, why was she taking it? I have known smart people What was the 3rd course she failed? Was it science type course? Contrary to others, I do not assume that a person fails a course because they have partied too much. Just because someone signs u and pays for a course doesn't mean they have the ability to do well in that course. I have known many students over the years who struggled in various courses. For example,in my first Physics course, only 5 out of 25 passed the course. It was one of those weeding out courses.

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