Good news...sort of

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2003
Good news...sort of
Thu, 01-23-2014 - 3:24pm

My 19 y.o. DD has been struggling mentally, physically, socially and academically for the past 1-1/2 years since entering the university.  There were some signs of academic weakness in high school, but she always had explanations for them.  Her reading tutor after her junior year said she might have dyslexia, but I pooh-poohed that because I thought I knew what dyslexia was, and of course she didn't have that!  Since she graduated HS with a B+ average, I didn't give too much thought to it, but I did warn her that her weak study habits would come roaring back at her in college.  "Yeah, mom, I know, blah, blah."  You all know that response and what it really means, LOL!

Well to make a long story short, we recently had her tested and the results yesterday showed she has mild depression, ADHD and dyslexia.  We knew about the depression and she was already being seen for that.   We are so relieved to know that there is something definite that could help explain her slide, which when looking back, I see was manifesting itself towards the end of middle school, at least.  She is so pumped up and sounds like a totally different person since she has been given hope that there is a light at the end of this tunnel.  When she was telling me about the 17-page report and its reccommendations, she sounded almost giddy.  She will be making appointments with a reading specialist and a mental health professional to explore med possiblities for the ADHD and depression, if necessary.  DD is even motivated and researching on her own, the drug interactions for those conditions with her respiratory meds and birth control.  Right this moment, she is registering with the Office of Student with Disabilities at her school to be assigned a counselor there.  She will continue with individual as well as group therapy at school, too.  Her case manager was ecstatic about the report too, and shared her personal experiences.  And she said how proud she was of her for following up on all of this.  In addition, she had seen a medical doctor before Christmas break (I forget what for) and is finally motivated to get her lab work done today, so that she and her team of support are fully armed to attack her problems.

I just have one thing to add.  If you have any children who are still in elementary, middle or high school and you have a hint of something, get them tested now, while it's free--at least in Florida public schools it's free. Our insurance doesn't cover educational evaluations and it ain't cheap!

Thank you ladies for letting me go on and on.



Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Sun, 01-26-2014 - 11:54pm

RE: " if she can just remember..."

One Xmas we got both our dds Ipods.  On Lolo's, we inscribed, "To our little peanut".  On Rae's we wrote "Don't lose this".  Another time, Rae called to say she had missed a 3rd pdoc visit, and they were charging her $100/missed appt.  She said, "I'm seeing this doc for treatment because I forget things, and then they PUNISH me for forgetting the appointment!! WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE???"

Another time, Rae turned up on a date with notes written up and down her arm.  When the guy asked why she didn't write her notes on paper, she said "Paper, I can lose.  This (wagging arm) I can't."  After a beat he said, "Don't you WASH???"  Needless to say, there was no second date.  

It takes a special person to put up with an ADDer.  Rae did find someone who values her other qualities more than he is frustrated by her disorder.  Right now, that is a TALL order, because she is PG, and cannot take her meds--which she has been on for 18 years--when she remembers to fill and take them.

Lolo is more HD than ADD, and in that way is very like her Dad.  She is more impulsive, moody, and oppositional than forgetfull and distracted.  In 4th grade she came home elated, saying "I had a GREAT day in school today Mommy!!  I didn't hit anyone, or steal anything!!"

Her SO, with the exact same birthday, is a pea in her pod.  When she was pregnant, she asked me, "Mom, will I give birth to, like, the Anti-Christ?"  The jury is still out, but Grandpa calls our granddaughter Sybil--she of the 16 personalities, that manifest then vanish,  in a blink of an eye.