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|Tue, 08-12-2014 - 6:31pm|
Hi, I’m new here and having read some of the discussions, I feel this is such a great forum. I have a question regarding harassment and how to help my daughter become more assertive. Toward the end of last year, she met a young man through a study group, and spent a bit of time studying with him along with other friends, not alone with him. He became interested in dating her, but she didn’t want to date him, and as he began to pursue her more and more, she became concerned that he’s too pushy. Over the summer, he started to text her constantly, several times a day; sent her Facebook messages constantly; sent her constant snap chats, etc. She told him repeatedly that she is very busy – she is working long hours every day, is doing a lot of volunteering and is busy studying as well. But most importantly, she simply does not like this guy! But she has a very tough time saying no when asked out by someone she doesn’t like, and instead, she has gotten into a habit of saying yes, only to cancel closer to the date. Unfortunately, this guy figured that out about her and showed up exactly on her doorstep for a date, and, unable to get out of it, she agreed to go out to a gallery with him. She paid for herself, but afterward, he insisted on paying for her, and she very reluctantly accepted! After that, he continued his constant communication with her, until she blocked his texts. He got very upset, but she explained that she’s just too busy. So he agreed that since she’s so busy, he’d wait until August when she would be less busy. Come August, he immediately resumed his constant communicating with her, demanding to know her schedule, her courses, etc. She is feeling really, really harassed by this guy, but doesn’t know how to handle it. After ignoring his constant messages, she finally responded on Facebook by telling him “You’re bothering me. I don’t want to talk to you. Stop”. He responded by saying he just really, really wants to talk to her. So she un-friended him on FB and blocked his calls and texts. I’m worried, now, if this guy can get crazy … I really don’t know what to advise her. She wants him to leave her alone, but doesn’t know how to make him. What would you advise? He will likely be in some of the same classes, and they are both going into third year.