Hello - remember me? ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-1999
Hello - remember me? ;-)
Sat, 05-11-2013 - 12:20am

There are a lot of new people here, but the old timers will remember me (those who are still here!). I'm calmama, living in the SF Bay Area with my dh and 2 middle-aged dogs. It's been a long time since my last update, but Pam just inspired me to chime in after all these months (maybe longer!). My girls are 26 & 31, both graduates from 4-yr. universities, so clearly I'm not a POCS anymore.. My younger dd has been married for over a year and a half, and they are very happy although not without their struggles. Dd has been employed for the same small company in Portland, OR now for almost 2 years. Has been promoted 3 times and now is managing their web site and in charge of marketing. Her husband, OTH, has been struggling between going to school and finding work. He's 27 and still kind of floundering. He has decided to put school on hold for the rest of the year (the JC up there is on the quarter system) and is trying really hard to find work. It hasn't been easy. My dd makes decent money so they get by but it's not enough for them to feel comfortable. We have always been a little concerned about s.i.l.'s potential to earn a living, but honestly, he is a really good person and adores my dd, and that is the most important thing to me. I just hope he finds work soon!

Older dd, divorced in Sept. 2011, has been with her current bf for about a year and a half. They have known each other since 2nd grade and reconnected on facebook so once they became a couple it got serious very fast. For awhile they were talking about getting married, a little too quickly I thought, but I haven't heard the word marriage in awhile so I guess they decided to take their time. They are very compatible and she is happier than I have seen her in a long time; he is everything her ex was not, which is a good thing! Dd still works as a mental health counselor at the local psychiatric hospital and now lives about 1/2 hour from us with her bf. She was going to pursue nursing but seems to have lost her initiative since she and bf started living together; she's enjoying life too much right now to go back to school. After 7.5 years working the swing shift, she was just approved to transfer to day shift, which much better matches her bf's schedule, so she is a happy camper!

I'm still working 3 days/week at the hospital I've been working at for 26 years. I switched my unit assignment a little over a year ago and it is less stressful than what I was doing before so I'm pretty lucky. I still am keeping up with my cycling and started running more seriously earlier this year. I just - at the ripe "old" age of 59 - completed my first half-marathon! I'm proud of myself but I don't know if I have it in me to do it again - we'll see! Dh had to give up running because of knee problems but he remains an avid cyclist so we enjoy doing that together. We also took up kayaking last year and have a small vacation home near Lake Tahoe, so that keeps us busy in the summer. We definitely learned how to adapt to the empty nest! :)

Sorry about the dumb signature - with the changes they made, they removed my photo and half a phrase - I tried to get rid of the whole thing but couldn't, so now it just looks dumb! I don't know what iVillage did to change things up, or why, but I agree that it is kind of frustrating!

                        Calmama54, from the beautiful

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Sat, 05-11-2013 - 2:40pm

I'll jump in here too, since for some miracle, I was able to sign on today.  SAM here, in the chilly, damp Chicago 'burbs--feeling all the more chilly and damp since we just got back from Key West.  Our first, and last visit.  Bourbon Street on steriods.  And we're too old and have too many replacment parts to go jet skiing, snorkling, etc, so all that's left is drinking and eating.  We like Destin, and Tampa/St Pete better. 

My girls are 29 and almost 32.  Younger dd was married, divorced, and now happily settled with her SO and 16 month old daughter.  She remains adamant she will never remarry, since (3.5 years later) she is STILL clearing her credit of her ex's debts.  She went back to night school for a trial semester, got a decent grade, but didn't like the field (medical coding/insurance/transcription) enough to make continuing worth the headache.  In addition, most of those jobs are now offshoring, or going to voice recognition.  Going part-time, by the time she would finish, the field would be extinct!  She's making decent money as the Exec Admin Asst to the president of a transportation/shipping firm, and he is VERY good to her with PTO and flexible hours.  Her SO is also doing well, working for AT&T, so they are content. 

Older dd is doing very well, finishing her 8th year teaching HS Art.  She finished a year toward her Masters, and has begun the process of becoming a National Board Certified teacher, which can take up to 2 years to complete.  The National Board process will give her graduate credits, so she will proceed with her masters after this is finished.  She was going to go to Spain this summer with her girlfriend, but her National Board participation has interferred with the dates, so we'll see. 

She is still looking for a job outside of Chicago, but it is not as urgent as before.  Her SO is making 6 figures as the IT manager at the DOJ office in downtown Chicago, so he is more open to living in the city.  But he still has a very big dog to consider, and the development he lives in now, is limiting the number of homes they will allow to be rented.

Dh is keeping on.  Not so much travel, because the project he is on here, will last at least 2 more years.  He is occupying himself putting an Azek deck on the back of the house.  I have wanted to be rid of the wolmanized wood for YEARS, so I am happy.

I'm still Bree-by sitting, and working part time, but the work may be ending soon.  The dentist I work for, has cancer bladder that is metastasizing to the kidney, so he has put the practice up for sale, and will not be returning to work.  I don't know if we can afford rent-a-dents to supervise the practice, and the prospect of having a DIFFERENT doc every day is daunting to the patients as well as the staff.  At least I qualify for unemployment again!

And Bree has turned into an adorable little Campbell Soup kid, with ringlets, rosy cheeks and a trouble-maker grin.  Into EVERYTHING, and giving me a run for my money.  Such is life!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Sat, 05-11-2013 - 6:20pm

Thanks for the updates from both calmama and Sam! Sounds like your families are all doing fabulously! It's nice to see a bit more activity on this board. Cal - I have the same problem with my siggy. I've tried several times to get the pic back in it as well as tried to change my profile thumbnail pic from that silly red and white Ivillage logo. No luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-1999
Sat, 05-11-2013 - 7:42pm
Wow Sam - life marches on for us, doesn't it! Bree is a DOLL! A lot of my friends and colleagues have become grandparents in the past year and I'm a little envious...but, as they say, be careful what you wish for! Neither of my girls is ready so for their sakes, I hope there are no surprises!

                        Calmama54, from the beautiful

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-1999
Sat, 05-11-2013 - 7:44pm
Part of why I haven't been active on the boards this past year is because iVillage has made it very user unfriendly - I honestly don't know why they had to change it up like they did!

                        Calmama54, from the beautiful

Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Sun, 05-12-2013 - 5:22pm

So many wonderful updates!! Great to catch up!

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-1997
Mon, 05-13-2013 - 9:23pm

Hello guys!  Shocked to see calmama's post!  Unbelievable.  Anyway, I post on the 50+ Board but I'll give you all an update on my family.  My husband, David, is still teaching high school Math.  Plans to retire June 2014 (if New York City & his school will allow him to continue past this yr.)  The issue is his school has failed the New York State assessments & we all know about "No Child Left Behind Act", so the principal is leaving this June, the school is reorganizing, etc.  They basically want my husband to leave since he's too old & earning too much money, but their hands are tied by union rules.  So he can teach BUT his supervisors are all up in his face (if you know what I mean).  Me - after 13 years working at a Staples store, I've been laid off March 30th.  Basically, Staples made a decision to lay off all full time associates who were not in management positions.  It was either this or close X number of stores to save money.  Fortunately, I'm in a lucrative position that I don't need to work.  After dh retires from teaching, he will collect a pension + Social Security (he'll be 65 yrs.).  If he ever dies, I can collect the pension until my death.  So financially, I don't need a job, but I want to work to keep busy & active.  Since being laid off, I'm enrolled in a real estate course & hopefully will get my license in June.  With all my sales & marketing skills from Staples, I should be a natural in real estate.  FYI - yes Staples did give everyone a severance package.  I'm collecting $4,200. + unemployment + I had my 401K. 

Now to our 2 grown kids - Renee is 28 yrs. had been working for the same post production film co. in New York City since 2006.  She just quit that job May 3rd.  She is with the same boyfriend since 10th gr. in high school.  They never married & no kids.  Her boyfriend went back to college & graduated 2012.  He is waiting to hear from graduate school (Univ. of Florida or Univ. of NC).  Plans to get a Master's degree in marine biology.  So dd chose to quit her job, move out of their apartment, is currently on vacation in Australia for 1 month & upon their return will move to Florida or North Carolina.  She graduated college in 2006 so Mom & Dad are hoping she finds a job wherever her boyfriend is attending graduate school.  At least she followed Suze Orman's rule - she has saved for 1 year of emergency money & if you think about it - Florida & North Carolina's living expenses are WAY cheaper than New York City. 

As for our son, James, he graduated from Bentley Univ. with a degree in economic/finance (2010).  He's been working for an insurance company in Boston since 2010.  On the day of the Boston bombing, his company closed & he was home.  HOWEVER, he lives in Cambridge, so he was on lockdown that entire day.  He was a bit nervous until the guy was caught.  Currently, he's on a 2 week vacation with his sister & boyfriend in Australia too.  They also have a mutual friend with them.  I'm not sure if this has to do with bombing or not, but after the Boston incident, he's been talking about coming home to NYC & finding a job here.  As far as I know, he had a girlfriend from Maine, but I don't think he has anybody now.  One thing I do know is Wall Street is hiring again compared to 2010 when they were asking Congress to bail them out. 

Well, that's my story for now.  Sorry this got long.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Tue, 05-14-2013 - 9:24am
It's nice to read the updates on everyone's adult kids. I'm glad I-Village decided to play nice and let so many people post!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-1999
Thu, 05-16-2013 - 12:27am
Hi Kathy! You piqued my curiosity - were you shocked that I posted, or shocked at my news? ;-)

                        Calmama54, from the beautiful