Nothing much going on - just a check in

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2001
Nothing much going on - just a check in
8
Sun, 11-11-2012 - 9:03am

Hi everybody - it's been a while since I was here, just checking in. 

My 20yo dd at university is doing splendidly well, living your typical college dream. After roommate troubles at the end of last year, she moved into a house with 3 other girls she hadn't met before (which was scary) but it turns out it was the best thing ever, in her opinion.  They all get along very well.  She's gotten 2 promotions at her job over the last few months. She works at the university's hotel/banquent center - not her career choice by any means, but a decent-paying job that works around her schedule & pays her bills while she's in school. She finally chose a major at the end of her sophomore year: Interdisciplinary Studies with business emphasis focusing on human capitol & society.  Honestly - not sure what that all means but she likes it & her classes are going well. She's now seeking internships in her field. 

My 17yo dd at community college is the polar opposite (personality-wise) of the 20yo and is such a drama queen!  Seriously, she craves drama & if things get too boring, she creates her own.  One day she's all depressed & complaining because she's failing everything. The next day she checks her grades online & all her classes are in the high 80's - high 90's (percentages) which are FAR from failing and she's on cloud nine.  After working so hard to graduate last spring from the uber-flexible alternative high school class format - coming into a very structured college setting has been a challenge.  There was a tangible goal last year to work towards - pass everything and get that diploma.  This year she's got no clear/specific goal to work towards.  Well, she has one - in order to claim her $1,000.00 scholarship from the high school, she has to pass all her classes w/ a certain GPA. It's proved to be quite motivating, actually.  But Girl has no clue what she wants to do...  and has changed her mind a gajillion times already (and she's only her first semester!).  General  studies to Culinary Arts (hospitality program) to Biology to Theater to....  Lord only knows what next!  Overall, things are going better for her now than they were early-on, now that she's getting the hang of things.  [And now realizes that a low grade on an assignment doesn't mean the professor hates her - it means she turned in half-assed work.]  For a while I didn't think she was going to be able to hack it... and it scared the hell out of me.  Next up is her driving test (driver's license!  Yay!) which will get her a little more mobile & less dependent on us to get her anywhere & everywhere. She's working through some of her insecurity & finally making some friends at school, getting more involved.  Right now - she's on top of the world & thinks her life is great!   

And then I've got a 9 year old dd in 4th grade.  The school just finished their yearly state standardized testing & we received a note home telling us that she got such high marks, they recommend that we look into the gifted/talented programs.  Three days later we have our Parent/Teacher conferences and learn she got a D- in science (only because the teacher upped a score on one paper so she wouldn't fail), a C in social studies, a C in Math, B in reading.  It's not because she doesn't know the material - her test scores are great.  It's mainly because she turns in homework late.  Or she does the homework & loses it in the vortex of mess that is her desk.  She does her work, shoves it in her desk, and can't find it again when it's time to turn it in the next day.  Really, she doesn't bring home much homework & the teacher said she encourages the kids to finish work at school.  Especially the math, because [to paraphrase]: we parents are stupid & wouldn't understand the "new math."  I'm sorry, I've been a numbers geek forever, and an accountant for 20 years.  I'm pretty sure I can help my 9 year old learn how to add, subtract, multiply & divide.  I bet I can even figure out the "new" methods which I think are stupid.  And after helping the 17yo through HS algebra, I cannot see how the methods being taught now will be useful in higher levels of math.  BUT THAT'S a thread for the grade-school board.  My next challenge is getting the little girl organized so she can be successful in 4th grade!!! 

So...  yeah!   That's what's going on. 

[I apologize for the typos, hopefully this somewhat makes sense.  :) ]

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2001
Sat, 11-17-2012 - 9:16am

Huh - it posted twice...  oops.   ???

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2001
Sat, 11-17-2012 - 9:14am

We live about a half-hour away from the University & Community College (they're in neighboring cities, about 10 minutes apart from each other).  20yo was a commuter student her first year, moved into an apartment her 2nd & current year.  I think she's looking to intern somewhere in an HR position.

17yo, she's my car pool buddy.  Her school is literally across the street from where I work.  It has its good & bad points - good, we save so much money not having to gas up two cars to go to the same place every day.  And my employer pays for my parking, another expense avoided.   Bad, she's got one class per day & is stuck downtown until I get done with work at 5pm.  There is a very good bus service around town, though it doesn't go anywhere near our home. She just started using it (after having a bus pass since August) and has discovered - FREEDOM!  As long as she's back to catch a ride home by 5pm - LOL!.  Next thing to do is find her a job.  She had one that didn't pay, so she ended up quitting.  No fun having a job that isn't generating a paycheck!  We decided to let her go jobless 'til she turned 18 (end of this month) and got a license.  Focus on school & grades for a while.  But now she's looking to borrow my car whenever she gets out of class to go "play" around town.  Um... no.  Not happening.  Unless you need it to get to work.

Been making a more concerted effort to help 9yo keep organized & finish her work on time...  She likes stuff like math & grammar/spelling.  Things where you look at a problem, and provide an answer and BOOM - DONE!  Things like social studies/science, where they ask you to explain something & write a paragraph...  <whine fest> "I don't know what to write!"  But we get her talking about the question...  and she can TELL you an answer.  GREAT!  Now write that down & you're all set!!!!  LOL!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2001
Sat, 11-17-2012 - 9:14am

We live about a half-hour away from the University & Community College (they're in neighboring cities, about 10 minutes apart from each other).  20yo was a commuter student her first year, moved into an apartment her 2nd & current year.  I think she's looking to intern somewhere in an HR position.

17yo, she's my car pool buddy.  Her school is literally across the street from where I work.  It has its good & bad points - good, we save so much money not having to gas up two cars to go to the same place every day.  And my employer pays for my parking, another expense avoided.   Bad, she's got one class per day & is stuck downtown until I get done with work at 5pm.  There is a very good bus service around town, though it doesn't go anywhere near our home. She just started using it (after having a bus pass since August) and has discovered - FREEDOM!  As long as she's back to catch a ride home by 5pm - LOL!.  Next thing to do is find her a job.  She had one that didn't pay, so she ended up quitting.  No fun having a job that isn't generating a paycheck!  We decided to let her go jobless 'til she turned 18 (end of this month) and got a license.  Focus on school & grades for a while.  But now she's looking to borrow my car whenever she gets out of class to go "play" around town.  Um... no.  Not happening.  Unless you need it to get to work.

Been making a more concerted effort to help 9yo keep organized & finish her work on time...  She likes stuff like math & grammar/spelling.  Things where you look at a problem, and provide an answer and BOOM - DONE!  Things like social studies/science, where they ask you to explain something & write a paragraph...  <whine fest> "I don't know what to write!"  But we get her talking about the question...  and she can TELL you an answer.  GREAT!  Now write that down & you're all set!!!!  LOL!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Fri, 11-16-2012 - 4:31pm

Welcome back, Ketue!  It's good to hear that your three girls are doing well in school.  Is your youngest a procrastinator, too?  I find that my apparent lack of organization is mostly due to procrastination.  I usually pile up papers in stacks on the single bed in my computer/guest room and take an hour to file/organize only once a month, or so.  Maybe your dd just needs to get to school early, or stay late, one day a week to sort out things in her desk. 

When our DS23 was in middle school, or maybe it was HS, there was a stretch when I would have to check his assignment notebook and online grades daily to be sure he had done, and turned in, his homework.  Fortunately it didn't last too long.  Your dd is still young enough that she's got a good excuse--tell her that now is the time to embed those good habits in her routine.  The teachers are less forgiving in HS.

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Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Mon, 11-12-2012 - 12:33pm
Our gt program (not required by the state) was a max of about 2 hours/week. DS was definitely one of the forgetful ones - I can't tell you how many times in MS we'd run back to get stuff from his locker (not an issue in HS as they didn't use lockers! They had them but no one used them) The only time that changed was in 8th grade when it became a rule that if you turned something in the day after it was due, you'd lose 1/2 of whatever you scored, half again the 3rd day...only happened once... Sue
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2009
Mon, 11-12-2012 - 10:15am
Thanks for posting ketue! Certainly has been hard to carry on conversations since the message board change over. I I love reading all the news you have shared! Sounds like prayers are being answered on your kids! On your little one, the organizational traits are one of the characteristics of gifted kids. I would be throwing a flag on the teacher trying to teach it through downgrading the students. Good thing they are testing. Does your school provide the gifted with trained giftedteachers? Here in our county they only pulled the gifted kids out of their class for one day a week.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Sun, 11-11-2012 - 10:03pm

It's great that your dd20 is enjoying college so much. How far away is she from home? Sounds like she's enjoying life off campus and I think it's a good thing for responsibility. What type of internships is she pursuing?

As far as dd17, it sounds like CC is the perfect choice for her - she can change her major 17 times without you being billed tens of thousands of dollars!! How does she get to and from school every day? Is there public transporation or do you drive her? I'd definitely be excited about the license!!

And I had to laugh about your youngest - thank GOD for my ds10 that our district has a no-graded homework policy in elementary, because he is the worst at forgetting it in his binder and still having it there the next day. Like your dd, he is very smart (or so they tell me, but I can't always see it, lol)  but it's not really the íntelligence, it's the orgnization, the memory, the effort, the .....  well, sounds like you get the picture, lol!

Thanks for checking in!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Sun, 11-11-2012 - 10:25am

Sounds like your kiddos are all doing great. It's amazing how different kids that come from the same 'gene pool' can be, isn't it? My boys are also very opposite. Thanks for the check in. I hope the board starts picking up soon.

Pam