Part of the 40%?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2009
Part of the 40%?
17
Mon, 11-12-2012 - 10:21am
Heard on the news today that 40% of Americans do not move more than 20 miles from where they grew up. How does that stat fit into your family history? Does your college student fit into these numbers? If they went away to college, do you believe their future has them returning home? If you have moved from where you grew up do believe you will retire where you presently live, move to where you grew up, or have another place you long to be?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Mon, 11-12-2012 - 10:53am

We were a military family, so DH and I definitely moved more than 20 miles away from where we grew up.  Early in our marriage, we always thought we would return to AZ after retirement, where I was from.  Later on in his career, we thought we'd end up in the D.C. area because of the job that he did in the military (assuming he would do something similiar as a civilian).  We never thought we'd land in Northern CA, despite living here at the end of his career and liking it.  One day we'd still like to go to AZ, but I don't know if we could ever sell our house here. That is ok, we like it here alot.  DD1 is living about 25 miles from home.  When she was applying for teaching jobs last year, she looked in about a 150-200 mile radius.  She knew she didn't want to live in Southern CA, but was ok with the central valley all the way up to Lake Tahoe.  DD2 goes to school about 60 miles away.  Who knows where she will end up.  She is a home body, so if she has her way, she'll be within an easy drive of here.

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Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Mon, 11-12-2012 - 12:29pm
I moved 300 miles away after grad school, but once we got married, we've now had 3 houses which are within 5 miles of each other! As my parents are gone and I'm an only, I doubt I'd return to Chicago/where I grew up. Not sure where we'll end up; we're comfortable here but I'd be willing to locate wherever ds would end up, if he'd want us around.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2012
Mon, 11-12-2012 - 12:32pm

Dh was active duty military too when we married.  He said the LAST place he wanted to be stationed at was Hampton Roads VA, and where did his first ship take him? LOL?  And where have we lived for 20 years LOL?  He got a civilian job at a shipyard when he got out- and they've been very good to him.  And at this point- with YDD a sophomore in HS, we aren't going anywhere. 

It kind of hurt the IL's.  Neither of dh's brothers moved very far away from their parents.   And all of their kids are within a few minutes drive of them, so it kind of boggled everyones mind when dd decided on the private school 3.5 hours away.  It was a good fit, and she seems to be enjoying herself there. 

Will she wind up staying there?  I don't know.  Dh said that we really can't move until the girls are situated somewhere at least semi-permanant.  Thing is- all we hear from the IL"s is "when are you moving here" (my family isn't an option b/c they live in TX and there is NO WAY we're going there LOL).  If something happened to either of his parents (my mom is near my sister so she's ok),, I have a feeling it would fall to us to take care of them.  SImply because I have the patience to do so :)  I think MIL or FIL full time would drive my SIL"s nutso .

  At least now they're discussing selling their 100 acre farm in the middle of nowhere.  For a while there I thought they'd NEVER leave it- and we'd wind up having to live there b/c they were in a situation where they really couldn't be left alone with neighbors that are over a mile away from them. 

YDD I'm not sure about.  She's kind of a homebody, but in her eyes college is a LONG way off since she's only a sophomore.

Cheryl

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Mon, 11-12-2012 - 9:12pm

Doesn't fit into my family history, or that of my kids either so far. I've lived more than 20 miles from my hometown since I was 21. We've lived here in San Diego for 30 yrs so this is home now. Both kids live in other areas now. Ds lives in San Francisco which is near where I grew up (and about 400 miles from me) and while he likes it there, his gf does not. I think she would like to return to SD to be near her family. They may be able to find jobs here but I don't know if they will be able to buy a home, its pretty expensive...but where they are now (SF/Bay Area) is even more expensive. So I doubt that we would move back up north for financial reasons. Maybe I should amend that to say that if both kids lived in SF and I was alone down here, I might move to SF as I do love that city. Also dh's family is about 100 miles from us here and as his parents get older we don't want to be farther from them. 

Dd is almost as far from home as she can get and be on the same continent! I suspect that she will eventually move back west to either L.A. or S.F. (San Diego is too provincial for her LOL). The novelty of the NYC winters has officially worn off.

I would like to stay in this house when we retire and ideally leave it to the kids. I thought that dh shared my opinion but he recently talked about moving to another country to retire, such as Mexico or Canada. If there is a strong economic case for such a move I guess I will have to consider it...but as I get older I get less adventurous so it will be a tough sell. Travel to other countries, great, but to live? I don't know...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Tue, 11-13-2012 - 9:59am

Cheryl, where do your in-laws live?  My uncle turns 95 this month and is still living all alone in their old farmhouse in WI, although they sold most of their land about 15 yrs ago.  He cared for my aunt with Alzheimer's for about 10 yrs, but after a fall he had about 4 yrs ago, she had to move to a nursing home where she still is.  Their closest child lives about 30 minutes from him--not too bad.

We moved slowly:  17 yrs after college in WI (1.5 hrs from my home town); 15 yrs in MI; and we've we've been here in the DC area for 5.  DS23 is still in MI, but DS29 is only 15 miles from us, in DC.  My mom is still in WI, with my closest sibling in Lake Zurich, IL.  Another sister lives just 30 min. west of us, and my brother moved to FL in summer.  We try to alternate visiting my mom (95 yo in an A/L apt with dementia, could never convince her to move close to one of us) so that she's not too lonely, but that means that all four of us rarely get together and we miss that.  Having experienced that life for the past 10 yrs, we vow that we will move close to one of our boys--probably the one who decides to have a family first--whether or not they like the idea, lol!

Until they settle down, we'll likely stay here in NoVA.  We really like Milwaukee and would like to escape the hot, humid weather here, but as soon as we got temps in the 40's the past couple of weeks, we agreed there was no way we would choose a climate colder than what we've got now.

Elc, funny your DH would mention other countries.  My brother has also talked about that, as he has a friend who just moved to France.  If our boys decide not to have children we might consider that, but otherwise we'd want to live close to them; I can't wait to be a grandma!  I think I'm gonna go gray not only cuz I'm sick of the hassle of coloring my hair, but to give them a hint that I"m grandma material and it's time they settle down!

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http://www.pnhp.org/news/2009/october/meet_the_new_health_.php

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Tue, 11-13-2012 - 10:04am

removed cuz double-posted.....I wish we could just delete a post when that happens.

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http://www.pnhp.org/news/2009/october/meet_the_new_health_.php

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTBYQlQ7yM

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2012
Tue, 11-13-2012 - 3:02pm

My IL live in southern Indiana. That's where dh's brothers (one- the other one is 3 hours away) live.  It's a 10 hour drive one way.  And it has driven me nuts for years that nobody comes out here- everyone complains about never seeing us, and that a large majority of our "vacations" over the last 22 years has been going to the IL's. 

Moving there would solve that. 

But I don't know- I kind of like this area.  I'm over the obnoxious humidity and heat every summer.  Yes we live near the beach, but it's a 40 minute trip one way to get to the one on base.  Dd's school is in Lynchburg- about 3.5 hours away.  And I think she likes the fact that she's "away", but can come home once in a while quite easily too. 

We can't think about anything until dd graduates high school.  And like I said- dh really doesn't want to move anywhere until the girls are "settled".  Not to mention he likes his job at the shipyard, and I'm very, very, very thankful that it's not going away any time soon.

Cheryl

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 11-13-2012 - 9:02pm

I grew up in Providence, RI, went to college & law school in Boston, got my firs job in Providence, then moved back to Boston and have lived here ever since--I guess that's more than 20 miles, which is even more unusual for people from RI who never seem to move--although I did have a few friends from high school who moved to CA.  My DD lives in MD but as of now I still think she would prefer to move home in a couple of years.  I don't think DS will want to move too far away--as of now he wants to go to UMass--well that's well over 20 miles from home, probably more like 120.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2009
Wed, 11-14-2012 - 11:04am
Hi Jean, My husband has always wanted to move to the south pacific, I would only agree if it was to living on a sail boat... As a Ohio boy he likes the feeling of land. ;) With the climate change and the destruction from Sandy to the barrier islands my dream of island retirement has me thinking of moving...France might not be so bad after the uproar into the sex lives of the Generals here or maybe I just need my honorary consul license plate!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Thu, 11-15-2012 - 8:35am

Being the wife of a retired Navy officer- it just boggles my mind to think these guys act like they do.  Sheesh.  Makes me so mad. 

The Psychology major in me knows that some women just love the guys in power, and the guys in power like having the ladies fall at their feet. 

I know- so off the 40% topic. 

Cheryl

 

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