Senior Year!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2001
Senior Year!
Sat, 07-06-2013 - 11:08am

DD is starting her senior year of college! Interdisciplinary Studies in Social Science, concentration in Human Capital & Society, business emphasis.  She's hoping to continue on to graduate school for HR.  24 credits to go!  YAY!

She's moving to a new apartment & starts her new lease on August 1st.  (This will be her third apartment in as many years... oy!)  There were some difficulties w/ her very first roommate.  When THAT lease was up, she moved in to a house with three other girls, completely blind - didn't know any of 'em before hand. Two of the four gals have graduated & are moving on.  The next apartment is certainly more practical - the move puts dd on the side of campus she frequents most often for classes and work. But she will miss the house very much...  ended up with three close friends, a close community of neighbors. She feels like she's moving away from "home" again.

She's still working at the College's hotel & banquet center.  It's the ideal college job:  pays well & bends over backward to work around student schedules.  She started out as a banquet server her freshman year and over the years has been promoted many times...  server, trainer, bartender (shining moment was making $400+ in tips in one night), crew leader, and next - captain.  Captain leads the banquest staff in the multiple events going on any particular night.

I'm proud of my girly - she's worked her way through school, made good grades, and seems to be having fun while doing it. 

Niece-girl, on the other hand...  She graduated HS (classof 2012) & she started at community college. She was 17 when she graduated (November birthday).  We worked w/ the financial aid office, provided all the supporting documentation and she was granted Independent status. End result - her college was 100% paid for with grants.  Leading up to her first semester, she picked classes based on General Education requirements (not sure exactly what she was going to major in, expected as a 17 year old, right?).  Then chose a major, dropped 'em all, picked out new ones.  A week before classes were to begin, she changed her mind again & dropped most of those classes & picked new ones...  resulting in a horrible schedule to boot.

She actually did pretty well that semester! In all the downtime between classes, she worked on homework - even joined the gym & was making huge progress on her health & weight.  She is/was a big girl w/ plenty of esteem issues. Toward the end of first semester, as she became more comfortable with the campus & surrounding area, she started hanging out at a nearby coffee shop where she found a friend.  He was 27.  He set her up with one of his friends who would be PERFECT for her!  This friend was 23 - bouncer at a local night club.  They met right before her 18th birthday, within a week she was sleepin with him and by end of December, they were IN LOVE & she was moving in with him.  "I'm 18 - I can do what I want, you're not my parents" mentality (as well as "I like getting laid" menality) had set in. Moving out - and with no job - she maxed out her available student loans.

2nd semester went badly, by early March she was flunking all classes & eventually withdrew completely.  Financial troubles ensued - niece decided to move (with boyfriend) 1500 miles away to her mom's house.  And that's where she is today.  Living with the mom that originally kicked her out and working at IHOP. She has to pay back the grants on her 2nd semester of college plus all the loans.

She called me a couple weeks ago asking me how to fill out her FAFSA in order to be considered independent once again. Hated to bust her bubble but...  told her it wasn't going to happen as she lives WITH HER MOTHER!  And the decision to give her independent status wasn't a decision of the US Dept of Education, it was an exception made by the community college she was attending... We had to jump through hoops to get that status, not just click a box on the FAFSA.

Hoping she gets her sh** together someday but judging based on the rest of her family... Well, I can only hope.  She is actually a very bright girl with lots to offer.  She just hates the fact that it might involve some effort to get there...

In the meantime, my 10 year old is going into 5th grade!  LOL!  She's thoroughly enjoying summer vacation, passing the days playing softball.  She's learning how to pitch & broke Mom's nose in the process - OUCH!  Gotta make sure the catcher is ready before you throw that ball.  On the plus side, it was a beautiful pitch - perfect strike!  (I know, I saw it up close!)

Lots of text, sorry - this turned out longer than expected!


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: ketue
Sat, 07-06-2013 - 11:42am

It sounds like everything is going great for your DD.  It's too bad for your niece but she sounds like one of those people who has to learn the hard way.  I was married to my 2nd DH (now divorced) and had a DSD who is one year younger than my DD.  My dd went to college & did very well--she's 24 now & a nurse.  My DSD & her father had some difficulty getting along, to put it mildly, so in her senior year she went to live w/ her grandmother.  I thought everything would be fine cause that's what she wanted all along.  She did finally graduated from high school and started community college but dropped out.  Since then she's been working--she was doing pretty well at a donut shop, but got fired cause she couldn't make it to work on time.  So now she's in some low wage jobs, can't afford a car--dad got kind of tired of giving money to an ungrateful DD--and I bet she wishes she had stayed in college.  I hope she does turn her life around some day.

Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Sat, 07-06-2013 - 10:56pm

She sounds like a wonderful young lady. Hope her new place works out. I hope your niece finds her way. I hope your nose is better! Ouch!! Glad your youngest is enjoying her summer.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2003
In reply to: ketue
Thu, 07-11-2013 - 6:36pm

Ahhh!  if only they were 10 again.  Kiddie problems, I'm wishnig for again.  But these grownup problems-ugh!  And THEY have to fix them!

Kudos to your DD for getting it right the first time.  Hopefully, your niece will wake up and see that unless she fixes it, this is her future.  I've got a few of 'em that 10-15 years later are now wishing they had done things a little differently.