So, changing their rooms

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
So, changing their rooms
Wed, 08-01-2012 - 8:37am

I'm already planning reorganizing his room a little.  He's never, ever hardly done anything to his room.  He says it's not important to him, and it shows!

I'm going to put his bed over where I want it, instead of shoved over into the corner (it's a queen).  I'm going to keep the bookshelves, but put them where i want.  I think I'll keep most of his momentos on it, so it's still "his" stuff.  I'm thinking of getting rid of the desk.

In 6 years of having this room to himself, he has never once sat at his desk and studied (unlike other son who used his every day).  It's just a table for his junk.

I'm going to paint the wall, have the carpets cleaned and buy a different comforter.  I'd like to keep the room "his", by actually putting up things of his on the walls, but in a tasteful way!

So...did you change their rooms when they left?



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Wed, 08-01-2012 - 9:47am

This is not in any way meant as a criticism, but I can't imagine changing the girls' rooms. I think that there are a variety of factors at work... for dd21, she attended college really close to us, living on campus for four years and then moving home to finish her last few classes (she graduated in June and lives at home now). She never felt "gone" completely, and was always home in the summer. She's also very private, and doesn't even like other people going in her room. For dd19, we do use her room for guests occasionally (she has the biggest of the kids' rooms and a queen-sized bed), but she's fairly attached to her room and even though it's plain (the whole house reflects that I'm not decorator), I think she'd be upset if we changed anything. When she was younger and used to visit her dad in the summer, she would hate it if she came back and anything was different in the house. She's the one who openly says she'll be crushed if we ever sell the house. You'd think that the boys (who share a very small room) would mind, but frankly, it doesn't seem to have occurred to either of them that there is the potential to have their own rooms. I guess I'm lucky that they're very complacent, lol!  I imagine dd21 will move into her own apartment in the next year or two and at that time, one of the two boys will move into her room. Unfortunately, it's going to take a LOT of work - she had a habit of slamming doors in HS (broken door frame, which we didn't bother fixing), she's an artist (paint has found its way all over) and a part-time model (tons of make-up, also on floors/wall, and clothes everywhere). Our usual strategy is just to keep the door closed... she does a huge cleaning every two weeks or so, but an hour later it seems to look like a tornado has swept through!

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Wed, 08-01-2012 - 10:14am
We didn't change ds's rooms til now; he's moving into a condo so is taking some of the stuff (like bed) with him. We're putting a futon we had in the basement into his room, so he can use it if he comes over to sleep, but honestly since the condo is under 2 miles away, I doubt it'll happen. The dressers in there (were mine as a child) will stay; he's using my dad's high boy dresser in the condo as it's a tiny place and it holds more than he needs. He may take the desk and chair in there, but honestly the condo is SO small I'm not sure it'll fit (his bed (again mine as a child) is a double and between that and the dresser, it almost fills the condo's one bedroom). His walls definitely need painting, from either feet on the walls (! he did gaming in there over the summers and sometimes put his feet on the walls while in his foof chair) or tape from posters. I'll put the futon as a couch so the room will look more like a study.

I remember as soon as my best friend left for college back in our dark ages, her mom made her room a sewing room, so my friend had NO bed to come back to over winter or summer breaks! I think that's a bit extreme.

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Wed, 08-01-2012 - 10:57am

I didn't change ds' room the first year. He could only get home for the major breaks but when he did his room looked exactly like he left it (except clean LOL). I thought that it would be comforting for him to have his same old space. 

When he returned for the first summer he didn't make any changes except to put some stuff on the walls. Near the end of the summer one of his friends spilled a bottle of India ink on the light carpet so clearly we had to do something about that. And he was moving to an unfurnished off campus apartment for second year and took the bed (and maybe one or two other pieces) so we made some changes to the room after he left that year. By about third year ds said that he felt like the college town was his home and he was just visiting when he came to our house. Eventually his room turned into a designated guest room.

I felt strongly that a CS' room should stay however s/he wants it for the first year (probably because I am sentimental in that way), unless its a situation where the room is needed for other family members. You could ask him now if he minds any changes but he won't know yet how he's going to feel in 3 months, if he will be homesick, etc. I would probably keep it looking the same at least through the Thanksgiving break (or whenever he first comes home for a weekend) and discuss with him then if it mattered to him to come back to his same familiar room. If he says he doesn't care then I'd probably ask him if he wants any input regarding changes but figure that you can move ahead with some redecorating. Some people are much more sentimental about places and things or get more comfort from the familiar. You know your kid and I'm guessing that you wouldn't be even considering changes if you thought that he would care, but sometimes they can surprise us...probably a lot depends on whether he gets homesick.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Wed, 08-01-2012 - 11:03am
DD22 lived at home untl her junior year. She moved into an apartment and took almost everything with her. I made her room into a guest room, with an extra bed and dresser we had. I hung up art that I liked and it seemed so nice and tidy. She still had a place to sleep when she came to visit. When she started grad school she had to move back home, and it was bye bye guest room. Since DD19 has only lived in dorms, we just close her door and leave it at that. I'm just hoping she cleans it before she leaves on Sunday. My Dad is coming to visit next month and he'll need to stay in her room. I'm sure whenever she moves to an apartment I'll do some redecorating. Apartment moves seem much more permanent than dorm moves.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Wed, 08-01-2012 - 1:39pm

I'm looking forward to a clean room. Honestly, I think my blood pressure goes up everytime I look into that pig sty.

LOL - when dd21 was in her 4th year of college and dd19 in her first, both rooms stayed fairly un-used. It was SOOOO nice to go by and see beds made!!!  no clothing on the floor!!!  No dirty dishes (yes, disgusting, but dd21 will eat late night snacks in her room and leave used dishes)!!!  I honestly DO think that it had a calming effect on me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Wed, 08-01-2012 - 7:15pm

Not going to change DD's room around. I'll probably clean it (I haven't touched it in years).  Make the bed, put the bedspread back on her bed.  After graduation, dd did a pretty good job at cleaning out all of the junk in there that she didn't want.  She's got tons of junk in her desk, but I don't want to touch any of that stuff.  Besides, it's not like we're going to use the desk when she's gone anyways. 

I figure she'll be back for breaks anyways.  At least this year.  Don't know what the future holds.  School is only 3.5 hours away.

Youngest wants to be able to practice in it.  I'd like that- to have the viola, music stand and all of her other music "junk" out of the downstairs room would be so nice..........


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Thu, 08-02-2012 - 9:57am

Youngest wants to be able to practice in it. I'd like that- to have the viola, music stand and all of her other music "junk" out of the downstairs room would be so nice..........


That would be nice!!  Ds12 plays a bass (luckily he's already 5'6" and probably on his way to his dad's 6'3") and it, along with accoutrements seems to take up our small formal living room.  I have to laugh, because the kids now call it "the bass room."  Dd21 played violin, dd19 cello.... we keep getting bigger. We joke that ds10 will have to play harp!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Thu, 08-02-2012 - 4:48pm

I couldn't imagine either of my kids playing bass.  LOL  Both of them are under 5 feet tall. 

My oldest was fooling around in the orchestra room right before graduation.  The kids decided it would be funny to put her in a bass case (and she fit LOL) then post pictures of it LOL. 

She's headed off to school in 2 weeks- majoring in music/ music education.  Her choice was violin, so you can just imagine the violin/viola jokes I've had to hear over the years LOL.

Gonna miss it though :smileysad:


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 08-02-2012 - 6:50pm

I would definitely ask him if he has any input into the color of the walls.  When my DD came home for the summer after her 1st year of college she was definitely more interested in reorganizing her room--she had always been terribly messy, clothes thrown all over the floor, but after having to share a very small dorm room, she became much more organized--then she thought about how she could organize her room at home.  She is definitely into decorating, putting pics on the walls & such so I wouldn't dare do anything to her room, but sounds like your son is not really into that.  But I wouldn't do too much.  He might think now that he can't wait to get away from you, but I bet after being away a couple of months, he'll be happy to come home & see the "same" room that he left.

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Fri, 08-03-2012 - 2:12pm

We left everything exactly where it was.  DS had already started doing periodic cleanouts of his room before his senior year.  He had already taken everything off the walls for a while, and put things back up.  As he was packing for college, he kept throwing things out, so by the time he went off, the place was nearly pristine.  We had no desire to make him feel that his room was different and that his home wasn't his home.  After all, he'd spent a LOT of time in that room by age 18.

You might think your son is going away for 8 mos but he really isn't.  It surprised me how often DS kept coming back, and that was only for regularly scheduled breaks.  We took him to college on Labor Day, and 2.5 mos later, he was home for Thanksgiving.  Then 4 weeks after that, he was home for an entire month between semesters.  8 weeks after going back to school, he was home for a week of spring break.  He went back to school for 7 more weeks, and then the academic year was over, and he was home for 3.5 mos.  So even when they go away to college, they're really not gone for long periods of time.  In between, they are in their old bedrooms.  I for one would not want to leave my home for a couple of months and come back to find it changed on me.