A 'wedding' question......

Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
A 'wedding' question......
26
Sun, 05-22-2011 - 3:36pm

We are less than a year away from the date.

Photobucket

Pages

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Sun, 05-22-2011 - 3:54pm

*You* should not ask him anything.

Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Sun, 05-22-2011 - 6:36pm

I now know from her bff that he won't talk to her, he brushes her off, and isn't contacting his parents either.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Mon, 05-23-2011 - 7:46am

I think I would put wedding planning on hold for awhile too, BUT....

Is her bf not in the military, currently deployed? If I am remembering that correctly (and please forgive me if I'm not), there may be some other, very good reasons for his current silence... namely, he's doing his job!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Mon, 05-23-2011 - 9:27am

I think you're doing the right thing by putting the plans on hold for now. You've kind of had your reservations from the beginning on this wedding and it really sounds like they aren't quite ready yet. If it's meant to be they can get married down the road at some point (and as sabr said - putting some of the cost back onto them may make them REALLY think about it). Looking back - we would have done things MUCH differently with Justin and Danielle. Our gut feeling from the beginning was that the relationship wouldn't last but we tried to tell ourselves that Justin wanted to do the right thing by her when she got pregnant (and he did in his 19 year old mind). I wish we would have encouraged a long engagement and a wedding after the baby was born. I'm 99% sure even had Hailey lived the marriage wouldn't have. I'm sure they would have struggled along for a few more months but I'm convinced that by now Justin would be paying child support and we'd be worried sick about our grand child being raised in an unstable, mentally ill environment. Rose cerrtainly has good insight into the life/mind/etc. of the military, which is most likely a factor as to why he may appear to be non-communicative. And she also brought up a good point about how the military can really change a person. I think even to a much-lesser extent non-combat military can change a person. DH grew up very poor, living most of the time in trailers with lots of pets, lots of clutter and dirt, etc. and went into the army after high school (peac time in the late 70's). His sister still lives that way but the military definitely changed him as far as being more structured, neat, etc. On the rare occasion we go to her house he can't believe that he actually lived in an environment like that for 18 years!

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 05-23-2011 - 10:50am

I agree w/ Rose on this one--first of all, they are right out of high school, aren't they?

Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Mon, 05-23-2011 - 11:34am

Rose, he is military, and stationed in Japan.

Photobucket
Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Mon, 05-23-2011 - 11:39am

I just don't know how to 'help' her when he won't talk to her.

Photobucket
Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Mon, 05-23-2011 - 11:48am

They have been out of hs for 2 years.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-1999
Mon, 05-23-2011 - 7:56pm

Oh boy, I've got so many "military mom" red flags going up now, even more so than when I thought he was in Afghanistan!

Avatar for coldfingers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-30-2000
Mon, 05-23-2011 - 8:17pm

He is Air Force, but I'm thinking the same thing.

Photobucket

Pages