Well....I finally have news!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-1999
Well....I finally have news!
14
Mon, 03-10-2014 - 12:19am

This should really go below in the category Beyond the College Years, but I don't think anyone really looks there anymore and this is GOOD news!  My daughter, who just turned 32 yesterday (yikes, that sounds old!) just got engaged! Smile  This will be her 2nd marriage - for those who have been around awhile, you will likely remember that we never thought the first one would work out but she had to find out for herself.  We are a lot happier about this one!  She and her bf have been together for over 2 years now and have known each other since first grade.  When they reconnected on facebook, after both were recovering from broken relationships, they arranged to meet up and basically have been an item since.  It got serious very quickly and they moved in together after less than 3 months, but though they have been talking about getting married since then, I'm glad they took their time to make sure.  Her bf is everything her ex was not - educated, ambitious, social, active, and happy to hang out with her family.  He's also very responsible with money and has helped tone down my dd's spending habits, which is a good thing.  She also compliments his personality and helps keep him calm when he gets upset about work or family issues.  He's very close to his family, as she is with hers, something her ex seemed to have a hard time with.  I'm so happy for her!

They are currently in Kauai on vacation with his parents, his sister an b.i.l and their baby - their Christmas present from his parents.  He proposed to her on the beach at sunrise - how romantic!  Her ring is a family heirloom and was his grandmother's wedding ring; she feels very honored that his family wanted her to have it.  We knew he was planning to give her the ring because, like a gentleman, he wanted to basically get our approval (I don't think he was too worried!).  He told us that he planned to give it to her on her birthday, but he did it the day before.

The only bittersweet part of this story is that his best friend, whom they both grew up with from elementary school through H.S., just passed away unexpectedly.  He had a rare blood disorder and had been sick for the past several years, but he was still able to work, though not without long periods of illness.  We knew he wasn't going to live a long life but I don't think anyone expected him to die when he did.  He would have been 32 on St. Patrick's Day.  Dd's fiance spoke at his funeral and his tribute was very moving.  I know it will be hard not to have him at the wedding, as I'm pretty sure he would have been the best man.

                        Calmama54, from the beautiful


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Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Mon, 03-10-2014 - 1:27am

Nah, put it up here.  We're basically talking to ourselves, anyhow.  I'm so glad for you, and your dd.  As you know, we walked in almost exactly the same moccasins with Lolo, so I know how you feel.  How romantic and lovely, to get engaged on the beach in Hawaii.  When, and where will they get married? 

I doubt Lolo & Will are ever going to marry, because of the financial implications, but they are as "married" as they are ever going to be--and expecting their 2nd child!!

In contrast, Rae and Anthony will end up marrying each other TWICE, or perhaps THREE times.  As you might recall, they got engaged, and a couple months later found out they were pregnant.  They wanted to be married before the baby came and finally did it on Valentine's day.  But they went alone, told only immediate family, and are still planning their big, October wedding.  As a matter of fact, I am going with them in a couple weeks for tastings of the various dinner and cake possibilities.  The wedding and the reception will both  be at the Morton Arboretum, and weather permitting, they will be married in the garden.  They are very set on this.  (Just Google it for some lovely pics)  However, both kids are Roman Catholic. The church became upset over the years, that weddings in the garden, turned into weddings in the forest preserve, turned into weddings in Wrigley Field, and so they've put the kibosh on ANY ceremonies outside the actual church.  The kids still want to be married by a priest, and so may have a THIRD wedding, in the actual church, with a priest.  Another reason is that Lolo's baby is due 3 days before Rae's wedding.  Rae wanted her to be the matron of honor, but that seems unlikely given the dates.  She might not even make the wedding.  And so...  Dh just shakes his head.

Both guys turned out to be very good, hard-working, ambitious kids. They both are close to their families, just as the girls are to us, and they accept the girl's relationship with us.  As you found, that is important.  It will be even more important when the grandkids come.  Hopefully that will be reasonably soon for you!  Congratulations to all!!

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Mon, 03-10-2014 - 9:04am

Great news about your dd; so sorry about her fiance's friend, so sad.

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-1998
Mon, 03-10-2014 - 11:22am
Hi! I haven't been her FOREVER, and this is the first post I read! Congratulations! They both sound like they were meant for each other and I hope they are very happy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 03-10-2014 - 11:36am

Congratulations.  It must have been very hard to see your DD marry someone when you had a good idea that it wouldn't work out.  so much better that you like this guy.  I would also have reservations about someone who didn't have a good relationship w/ his family.  It's very sad about his friend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2003
Mon, 03-10-2014 - 7:45pm
That's great news! It's always warm and fuzzy to see our kids doing well and in a good relationship. Congratulations!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Tue, 03-11-2014 - 12:02am
Congratulations to your daughter and to you too! It must be nice to know you will be able to get excited about the wedding plans, knowing you approve of her fiancé. Will they do any kind of tribute to his friend at the wedding?
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Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Tue, 03-11-2014 - 4:44pm
Sounds like a very romantic proposal!! Congrats.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Wed, 03-12-2014 - 10:30am

Congrats to your dd! What a romantic proposal. Have they set a date? Sorry to hear of the friend - so sad when a life is cut so short...

Pam
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-1999
Wed, 03-12-2014 - 7:44pm

Interesting how things work out, huh?!  No wedding for one of yours, and 3 weddings for the other - LOL.  I don't know when they will get married yet, this news is hot off the press.  I asked dd if they had thought about a date yet and she said they won't get married until they buy a home.  Their lease is up in July so they are going to meet with a real estate agent soon after they get back (enroute now).  Her fiance is very much wanting to buy something, though he won't get much in the price range he wants to stick with, at least not here in the Bay Area.  He just wants to stop throwing away money on rent.  Eventually they are talking about moving to Boise, ID, where his family is and where they can buy 3 times the home they can get here for the same amount of money.  But that's 4-5 years down the road.

I think it will be a small wedding, family and close friends only, probably somewhere on a beach.  That means it will probably be late summer or early fall, but who knows.  I really wish we hadn't used her wedding money on the first one, beautiful as it was, because we never thought it would last and now the well is dry.  We will probably give a nice sum of money for a wedding gift to help with buying a home...although it may end up being an engagement gift since the home will come before the wedding.

                        Calmama54, from the beautiful


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-1999
Wed, 03-12-2014 - 7:46pm
Thank you, Conmama! This group - in fact all the iVillage groups, apparently - is dwindling but I still feel connected after all these years. What's going on with your family these days?

                        Calmama54, from the beautiful


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