Well....I finally have news!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-1999
Well....I finally have news!
14
Mon, 03-10-2014 - 12:19am

This should really go below in the category Beyond the College Years, but I don't think anyone really looks there anymore and this is GOOD news!  My daughter, who just turned 32 yesterday (yikes, that sounds old!) just got engaged! Smile  This will be her 2nd marriage - for those who have been around awhile, you will likely remember that we never thought the first one would work out but she had to find out for herself.  We are a lot happier about this one!  She and her bf have been together for over 2 years now and have known each other since first grade.  When they reconnected on facebook, after both were recovering from broken relationships, they arranged to meet up and basically have been an item since.  It got serious very quickly and they moved in together after less than 3 months, but though they have been talking about getting married since then, I'm glad they took their time to make sure.  Her bf is everything her ex was not - educated, ambitious, social, active, and happy to hang out with her family.  He's also very responsible with money and has helped tone down my dd's spending habits, which is a good thing.  She also compliments his personality and helps keep him calm when he gets upset about work or family issues.  He's very close to his family, as she is with hers, something her ex seemed to have a hard time with.  I'm so happy for her!

They are currently in Kauai on vacation with his parents, his sister an b.i.l and their baby - their Christmas present from his parents.  He proposed to her on the beach at sunrise - how romantic!  Her ring is a family heirloom and was his grandmother's wedding ring; she feels very honored that his family wanted her to have it.  We knew he was planning to give her the ring because, like a gentleman, he wanted to basically get our approval (I don't think he was too worried!).  He told us that he planned to give it to her on her birthday, but he did it the day before.

The only bittersweet part of this story is that his best friend, whom they both grew up with from elementary school through H.S., just passed away unexpectedly.  He had a rare blood disorder and had been sick for the past several years, but he was still able to work, though not without long periods of illness.  We knew he wasn't going to live a long life but I don't think anyone expected him to die when he did.  He would have been 32 on St. Patrick's Day.  Dd's fiance spoke at his funeral and his tribute was very moving.  I know it will be hard not to have him at the wedding, as I'm pretty sure he would have been the best man.

                        Calmama54, from the beautiful


Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-1999
Wed, 03-12-2014 - 7:53pm
Good question, Sharon. I really don't know, and they are on such a high from this trip right now that I don't want to ask. I'm taking the mom of the deceased friend out for breakfast tomorrow. I'm guessing she heard about the engagement from her dd, who's friends with both on Facebook. I imagine that this will be hard for her too. I've been friends with her since we worked together on PTA stuff in elementary, middle and high school, and I was actually one of the first people to arrive at her house after she found her son dead in his room. It was heartbreaking. I'm glad my dd and her fiance were able to get away after such an emotionally draining week.

                        Calmama54, from the beautiful


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-1998
Mon, 03-17-2014 - 1:08pm

Hi Calmama,  the last two years have just been awful with these boards that I basically gave up.  I normally only have time to get on at lunchtime, and I just didn't have time to wait and wait and wait for them.  It's really sad, because it looks like so many people have just moved on.

As for my life..DS1:  20 years old, 2nd year of college but will still be just a sophomore level next year.  He has matured quite a bit, but is still struggling with being able to take a normal class load of credits.  However, he is doing better than when he first started, enough to stay in school at least.  He didn't get into a frat that all his friends are in because of his grades, which really depressed him for about 2 weeks his girlfriend said.  We're letting him get a student apartment next to campus next year..they are new and it's basically a 4 story complex with retail on the first level, fully furnished, free wifi, Tv and cable, fitness center, pool and hottub...$66 million dollar complex...so that took the sting out of the frat.  it's small...an efficiency, but it's right in "the village".  He's lonely though.  He told me, literally ALL his friends are in this frat.  Thank god for his girlfriend or I don't know what he would do.  I feel sad about him still, he struggles.   But at least we're over the immature outbursts and all that garbage.  I can actually have 2 hour conversations with him...which is a pleasure and a change.

DS2:  Junior in H.S....he's a busy, happy kid.  Tennis team, going to Prom, took his SAT's, seems to have a lot of friends, getting to drive to school!  School isn't easy for him, but he perserveres.   He is taking Chemistry and Algebra 2 now and they are killing him, even with tutors.  He can't wait until this school year is over and either can I.   Broke up with his girlfriend in the fall, which was extremely difficult, but the end of the first love always is.  He broke down one night out of the blue at dinner and cried and cried.  Quiet, with tears that wouldn't stop rolling.  Girlfriend, difficult classes, realzing that maybe he's not as "smart" as all his friends (who are just about near genius's some of them), socially trying to fit in as we all did in H.S.    That wasn't a fun evening, but I'm glad I was there to help...and it's behind us and he's happy again.

You know...I won't miss the teen years alot!   LOL!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2003
Tue, 03-18-2014 - 4:36pm
I don't know if there's enough money in the world to make me go back to those teen/young adult years. Drama, difficult, insecure, reality of all kinds of stuff hitting...On the other hand, if I could do it with what I know now...lookout!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2001
Sat, 04-12-2014 - 9:18pm

Congratulations!  Although I haven't written recently, I do occasionally check the boards.  This group was a life saver for me when we all started out.

im glad your dd #1 is finally getting her 'happily ever after'. It has been quite a journey.

quick update (in case anyone remembers me).  Dd is married and living in Melbourne Australia.  She met a great Aussie while working in NYC after college, married him and took off soon after that.  She is now a dual citizen and there are the beginnings of conversations that contain the word. "When we return to NY"  I am hopeful!

ds is living in NYC, working in video, making commercials for a tv network and thinking about going out on his own.  Still no girlfriend and he is almost 30!!  I'm trying not to say anything.

. I have found that 'not saying anything' is harder than anything I have done in the past!  "who are you dating?"  "When are you moving back to the U.S?"  "When are yiu having babies?" Have not crossed my lips....yet!

in many ways it makes sense that these boards are piddling out.  there are so many ways now for people to,connect.  This board certainly was a life line for me when I needed it...and for that i thank all of you lovely ladies.  You took the time to read my posts, empathisize with my concerns and offer sound advice.  You were also free with 'constructive criticsm" when needed.  Thank you.

Pages