Is your CS settling in on campus?

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Is your CS settling in on campus?
20
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 10:08pm

Have you heard any news from your CS? Is s/he adjusted to campus life, getting along with the roommate, liking the classes, joining clubs?

How are you doing? Are you missing your CS, or have you adjusted to the changes also? For those who have sent your CS off a few times already, how long did it take you to stop feeling sad?

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Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 8:38am

DS21 is a senior - I'd say freshman year was by far the worst, soph a little better. And he's in town - stayed in the dorm and in an on-campus apartment at his first U, now in a condo for the 2nd U (jr/sr).  To me this year is hard in a way because he's determined to leave town after this, meaning permanently, and it's hard to get used to the idea of that.  He rarely visits or makes contact as it is, so I guess it wouldn't be that different other than he wouldn't be home for summers (which he didn't want to be this past summer as he could've stayed in the condo but I didn't want to pay utilities or food money for him to stay there, and he didn't make enough (barely got hours this past summer) to fund it himself, which we did give as an option).

He says he likes all his classes; one is 'weird' and one has the head of the art dept teaching it - he had him as a teacher last spring and figured he wasn't around as he was wooing new/prospective students but he's also not around now.  This man, from what I understand, is brillaint but shouldn't be teaching - has no time (was also ds's advisor til he just switched as he was NEVER available, never helped guide ds, and even wouldn't show up when you'd make an appt with him on a sheet on his office door).  I'm not sure why ds thought it'd be different this round...so he's just bugging others to find out how to do what's needed. Argh. But his 3 other classes are great so I guess things are going as well as can be expected for now.

Sue

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 10:04am

Freshman DD is doing great at her university.  She has excellent coping skills, so she is handling the craziness of life in NYC very well.  We only had one meltdown phone call, and she was quickly talked back off the ledge. ;)  I saw her briefly yesterday between a couple of meetings I had in her area and between two of her classes, and she already seemed so at home.  Her roommate is very nice (and very quiet), so no problems there.

Senior DS is having a harder time, because his advisors are being jerks, to be blunt.  Too long a story here, but it comes down to their telling him he can't do his senior thesis in anthropology on what he knows, is interested in, and has field experience in.  They were not at all clear about this before he spent six weeks on his field study.  Besides his anthropology major, he also has an English major and Spanish minor.  And he is living off-campus for the first time.  So lots of crap to deal with right now.  I am grateful that he asks me for advice about time and stress management.

When DD went off a little less than three weeks ago, I was very sad, even a little weepy.  However, without the two CSs around, the house is so much quieter and cleaner.  They both leave stuff everywhere - pens, drawing materials, erasers, sheet music, bits of fabric and thread and yarn, headphones and laptops and chargers.  I love my kids, but not their stuff! 

Having them gone leaves more time, patience, and energy for 13yo DS.  So it's all good.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2003
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 10:53am

After a very tumultuous first year, which came to a crash this summer term, DD is back on campus.  Professional counseling, lots of advice, plans and strategies, lighter courseload while maintaining FT status, and most importantly, allies in high places at school, LOL!  Thank God for them. 

She's had to drop and add a course, thankfully--it was on another campus in the evening. So far, she's been engaged a wee bit more in campus life.  Let me say she has PLANNED on being more involved, but her old procrastination habit has reared its ugly head and she's missed out on some opportunities that she expressed interest in.  She still has irons in the fire for some others.  Still has BF, going on 7 months, but she's not sure for how much longer.  She's tiring of his mama dependency at age 20.  She has been out with a couple of friends apart from BF and his friends. She and her roommate get along, but there is a quirky issue.  That should be resolved when DD moves into a single in a suite.  That was her first choice when she applied for Fall housing.  Didn't get it because she...procrastinated.  But she's near, if not at the top of the room reassignment list, thanks to those allies.

Hopefully this school year will be a better one for her/us.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 1:14pm
Mine just left Wednesday, but officially doesn't get to campus til the 22nd. So, we're all still waiting... I was sad when she left, but it was quickly replaced by aggravation that she has an entire room full of stuff left that i need to pack up and my 6 year old seems to think she's moving into "sissy's room" I apparently need to lock the door until I get around to boxing up everything and cleaning it out. I am looking forward to cleaning out her bathroom of the 8 million bottles of shampoo, conditioner, bath gel, etc. that she let behind.
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Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Fri, 09-13-2013 - 5:21pm

Ah, Tracy, that's so funny!  I made DD go through all the stuff she had in the bathroom and tell me if she was bringing it or not.  Then I threw away all the stuff she wasn't bringing, mostly gift bottles of shower gel, old bottles of nail polish, hairclips, etc.

And then we gave the bathroom to DS, because he's the only kid at home.  We moved his contact lenses and his few other bathroom needs in there from our bathroom, and voila!  He has his own bathroom, which is very neat, and DH & I don't have to share with him any more.

When 21yo DS went to college three years ago, I made it very clear that NO ONE was moving rooms.  Everyone has their own bedroom and their own furniture, and that's the way it's going to stay.  Honestly, they come home practically every month during the school year, and then they're home for 4 weeks in the winter and 3.5 months in the summer - it's like they never really leave!  And they need to know their stuff is still there for them where they left it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Sat, 09-14-2013 - 1:54am

Let's see, 4th year of college and DD20 has decided to quit her RA job, needs to find a place to live since she will lose her free housing and has changed her major.  Oh yeah, she's off to a smooth start!

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Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Sat, 09-14-2013 - 8:09am

I can commiserate somewhat - we got the condo for ds21 to stay in as a package deal - start there last year as a junior, then stay through MAT degree, so 3-4 years. He's decided he wants to go to Colorado next year with his gf23 and they can work and work on their degrees while there.  Um, ok, if he stayed here as planned half of his MAT is done as the U will let him continue and use those hours (needs 83; has 39 now, likely 42 by graduation).  I seriously doubt a different U would take all those hours.  So our package deal is being thrown out the window and who knows when he'll finish, IF he'll finish, etc.  Hoping he might see sense before then.

Hope your dd sorts things out and ends up really loving her new major!  It might be a longer haul but if it's what she really would love to do forever, better now than getting out there and hating a lifetime job in what she'd majored in...hugs.

Sue

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Sat, 09-14-2013 - 12:52pm

Sharon, any idea what prompted these big and sudden changes? Is the change in major to something close enough that her credits will apply, or is she looking at an additional year now? Will she be looking for off-campus housing? I hope it works out for the best for her, keep us posted.

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Sat, 09-14-2013 - 1:15pm

Sue, why Colorado? Has he spent much/any time there and knows he likes the vibe? Is his education still funded by the inheritance? Meaning, you don't have financial "incentives"---like you will pay for him to stay put, but not for the new plan? Fortunately next June is a long way off so a lot can change...does this plan include applying for grad school for next fall at a U in CO?

Is there any way that he could take some time off between getting the BFA and the Masters? Maybe he's getting burnt out and needs a dose of the real world. Since he's always been a student and mostly supported by parents, a year of working, struggling to support himself and being independent can help to crystallize the need for an advanced degree---with as much parental support as possible!

I hope that you can talk some sense into him.

Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Sat, 09-14-2013 - 1:50pm

Dd is a sophomore and doing great. She loves her classes. She has a new roommate and it is working out great. I never was sad, but so excited for her. Ds is a sophomore in high school and we are starting the search. He is going to his college fair this weekend.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

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