IEP meeting today

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
IEP meeting today
8
Tue, 12-11-2012 - 12:45pm

and will say pleasantly suprised. I had gotten the paper work Friday and was prepared for a battle but only curve balls were positive ones. We are FINALLY adding reading to the IEP. The OT requested an assisted technology eval so this will be his last year there. They have conceded his pen to paper will not get any better and he is more then half way done with they keyboarding lessons so hoping they supply something in place of pen and paper for next year. PT would drop him in June but she wants to wait until he has his next surgery (he needs to have a bone graft where they takle bone from his hip and put in gums, really I don;t think its an issue only mentioned it because he won't be able to do things while recovering and she is worried he will have a set back)

Acedemically he is making progress the reading is slowing him done but the testing revealed intelligence is there just having issues showing that. I did politely express my concerns as far last years teachers and that factoring into his grades. Also he has only had 1 meltdown this year and that was over the testing (he missed a class project and he was upset)

Of some concern is socially. I think its a mix of a lot of things. When on his ADHD he is more cautious, so less likely to play like other kids do, if that makes sense. The special ed teacher was concern he doesn't interact a lot with the class, but at home he acts like he has friends. Think his definition maybe different. He socializes ok at school events when its NOT class time and he can have this down to business seriousness so think that is part of it and he fears getting in trouble. My worry is that can alienate him some from his peers and of course feeling guilty we have no kids in our neighborhood to play with and he is in after school until 5:30 so doesn't get many play dates or just chances to hang with friends outside of school. He does do sports but only baseball he does in the city we live so need to maybe rethink that some. I think I'm just worried on that because he doesn't like to be different and he has been teased over his cleft before so they are keeping an eye out..

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Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Fri, 12-28-2012 - 5:49am

So happy for you! The most hurtful part about IEP meetings is the bad news, the defense of why your kid is getting services and all so it's nice to hear this side.. We are actually considering dropping some of the services by the end of the year for our DD too, OT has become more of an INconvenience and the interference with classwork just isn't worth the pull out anymore but she's older (8th grade).... Best of luck going forward!

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Wed, 12-19-2012 - 11:36pm

Yes, if it isn't the "we are the experts and what you have to say doesn't matter" it is the "you are parenting wrong/not doing enough at home!"  

Feel free to tell them off in the future.  I have gotten the "you are just the parent (and therefor know nothing) attitude a few times.   And have told them that I got certified to be a teacher...which can make some jaws drop.   I also, as a homeschooling parent, have a bit more time to do research on what might work well for my kids and to research exactly what the law says about say...accomidations during testing, and what can go in the IEP.   I do know if my kids were in school and I was working full time I would not have this ability to educate myself as well as I do. (We do a charter school, and have to comply with the same regulations as other kids for state testing.)    I always like a quote from M*A*S*H*, "Don't assume.  It makes an ass out of u and me."   Too many people in the schools have not heard that, I think!

Glad that it is going better this year.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Tue, 12-18-2012 - 1:00pm

the pyschologst had an interesting interpertation of it. DS can be very serious, very down to work and this is clearly a reaction on medication when his focus is drawn in. Very hard to get that when he is all over the place. Anyway when in that mood its like he doesn't have time for the petty things. Case in point, I guess right after our meeting his teacher had a family emergancy had to leave and she has been out since. Because its a dual taught class they don't get a sub and while the special ed teacher works to some extent with all the kids she is used to that smaller setting and they are running all over her. Yesterday he came home with headache because the kids were loud. So I can picture him now, hands over his ears not interacting with them.

Originally the social skills aspect of IEP was to learn to deal with changes without melting down. He used to cry A LOT in class. He met that goal but because of SPED teacher concerns with the interactions and mine with bullying (we had issues last year and some resurfaced but he doesn't speak up) they are keeping it in his IEP but think the focus will be more on dealing with peers.

The battle thing was more from my experience last year. Up until then we all were on the same page but last years teacher said one thing in meeting reacted different was when the special ed teachers were not there and it was like butting heads. Looks like we are back all on same page. One thing I will say sometimes I feel overwhelmed. Last year so much was put on what WE were doing wrong so this year I was prepared with the
"hey look you have degrees in this, I don't. Mine have ZERO to do with this kind of stuff but at least I have a college education, Do you put this on these parents that don't? I have no clue how to teach a kid to read I went to school for law not education..." I didn't need it but trust me its still there. You are paid for this not me. Yes he is my son but this is also YOUR job.

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Registered: 09-30-2011
Mon, 12-17-2012 - 1:58pm

Yay for having a good IEP meeting! I use the same terminology- "preparing for a battle"- when describing how I feel before IEP meetings!! 

That's really interesting that your son is more hesitant when on his ADHD meds. My 9 year old has social issues as well and is also on ADHD meds (Focalin). I had never heard of a correlation like that before but it's worth looking into b/c my son defintiely doesn't need anything more hindering his social interactions! Does his IEP have any goals to address his social needs? That always seems to be one of the bigger battles for us, on the IEP.

Lisa 

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Registered: 09-12-2003
Thu, 12-13-2012 - 12:33pm

As for baseball and meds usually it was wearing off by then since most games were at night. We never had an issue with him hesitating to do what coach said and think he has stolen without the signal but they had rule that pretty much if ball gets away RUN unless it was a blow out, so for us it falls under his need to please.

Now with his hockey its clearly NOT a matter of him not taking risks. Thankfully its cross ice but if it was travel he'd be the pentality minuets leader. I will say we forgot his meds one weekend and he is all over the place and I worry for his own safety sometimes. I've pulled him from baseball games if he hasn't had and he is unfocused. I may look like THAT parent but the way I look at, these are volunteers I HAVE to deal with my kid no matter what and if he is in another place not only is risking getting hurt, he is also letting his team down and he is also wasting their time. I do explain to the coach why

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Thu, 12-13-2012 - 12:25pm

So this was his 3 year re eval so I got reports from the various tests. Usually I don't get such details.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Wed, 12-12-2012 - 10:02pm
It is SO nice to have a good IEP meeting! And I think that different kids do have different levels of needing friends. It may be more normal for other kids to have closer friends that they can visit more often, but if your life is different it doesn't mean it is bad, it is his normal. Do what makes your family run best, unless some are unhappy. It doesn't sound like he is unhappy. Curious though, how do the meds effect his baseball? Will he steal bases or take other risks? I had never thought about how the ADHD meds might effect other parts of life that call for split second decisions before.
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Registered: 02-24-2010
Wed, 12-12-2012 - 2:48pm

That's great that you had a pretty positive IEP meeting and are happy with the services they are adding/keeping.  

When you say you got the paperwork Friday, was that the proposed IEP you got beforehand to review before the meeting?  Just curious, we started to do that recently.  I'm hoping you didn't just get the invitation that late before the meeting, wihout much notice!!!

“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.” 
― Markus ZusakThe Book Thief