Co-Ed Sleepover?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2005
Co-Ed Sleepover?
Fri, 03-18-2011 - 12:47pm

My almost 17-yr old dd is going to the junior prom with a very nice, mature group of kids. I am very pleased with her choice of friends all around. They all chipped in on the limo and are doing a potluck dinner before at one of the friend's homes. A few couples are romantically involved but most are just friends.

After the prom, the

Avatar for turtletime
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-1998
Fri, 03-18-2011 - 2:43pm

You know, under the right circumstances, I might allow a large group co-ed sleep-over. It sounds like you have faith in her judgement in friends. The kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Fri, 03-18-2011 - 4:13pm

I'd say go with your gut. Are you totally comfortable with this? If this were my kid, I'd say flat out no, because even if she's not going to drink/smoke pot/have sex, there's just too much opportunity for bad stuff to happen. And as wonderful as that other mom might be, I don't know too many middle-aged parents (myself included) who could stay up all night and really be attentive.

I think her offer to host the kids is a kind one, but I'd be more likely to accept it if the party were being run like a youth group lock in, with a couple of female adult chaperones for the girls' room and a couple of male adult chaperones for the boys' room. And yes, most of my friends think I'm too strict, so obviously there is a lot of room for different opinion among good parents!

If you do decide to not let her stay, think of a face-saving measure for her. She can feel a headache coming on, or be too tired, etc. This will help her not feel embarrassed if she thinks her parents are too strict.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Fri, 03-18-2011 - 4:46pm

I both hosted, and allowed my kids to attend, co-ed sleepover following big parties like prom.

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Fri, 03-18-2011 - 9:25pm

That's what my oldest did, under very similar circumstances.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Sun, 03-20-2011 - 12:55am

The most important thing, is to know your childern AND their friends.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2007
Wed, 03-23-2011 - 7:20pm
I can honestly say that this wouldn't fly with my Fiance and I. I can see why you would feel uneasy about all of this. I don't think this is a matter of trusting your daughter. I think you do, but you don't seem to know the hosting family all that well. So my best advice is to trust your judgement and stick to your guns whatever you decide. Good Luck
Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 11:26pm
Nope, not happening. I tell my kids that we are not Lutheran for the hour we sit in the pew, I expect them to act as such. DD is attending the post prom party, I am chaperoning that. She is not going to prom though, lol. I tell her that even if nothing happens, there is still that stigma. I did not let the kids do the co-ed church lock in either, I told the youth pastor the first time that happens, if it were up to me, s after I hear "I do". Now, if that is how they conduct themselves, is their roblem, but they will not get any encouragment to act otherwise from me.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!