Not thinking though college choices?

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Registered: 03-22-2007
Not thinking though college choices?
21
Tue, 03-19-2013 - 3:38pm

How would you handle the following situations?

I have a friend whose daughter is at the top of her class, and was offered a full scholarship at an out of state college.  Instead, she's thinking of attending a different college in a different state so that she will be close to a boy she met online.  She's interested in being a doctor, so has years of schooling and training ahead of her.

I was telling my sister about it, and she has a friend that went through something similar.  The daughter in that scenario was offered a full scholarship to one college, but she didn't like their program for education, so she chose to attend a college where she is only receiving financial aid. 



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Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Tue, 03-19-2013 - 3:55pm

I would first want to make sure she has researched the college that is offering her a full scholarship.  Just because they offered a full scholarship doesn't necessarily mean they are the right college for her, has the program she wants, the environment or features she is looking for in college.  Now obviously turning down a full scholarship sounds bad, but being at a school that doesn't suit her for 4 years, possibly more, just to do it for free isn't necessarily a good idea either.  If she was my daughter, and I will talk from experience because we just went through this partially, I would sit down with her and have her list out or tell me what hte pros and cons of each college is, factoring in majors and programs, social interests and clubs, any other variables such as boyfriends and other friends she may already know is going there, etc.  Of course finances will factor into that also.

My ODD was recruited by a college for a sports team, she loves the campus, its an excellent program and I know she will thrive on it.  Not including financial aid as of right now, she has 40% of the estimated per year cost covered in scholarships minimum, but it will increase each year based on the sports team's scholarship figures.  After seeing the college during her recruitment visit, meeting the coaches and other teammates, she decided not to apply anywhere else, including the other top college she had originally planned on attending which would have been near relatives so she could live with them instead of on campus, the price of tuition, even out of state, was significantly less that the other one.  She made a very good case and ultimately its their decision, its their education, and its their debt to pay.  My ODD knows that we don't have the money for the college she picked, she knows how we feel about racking up tons of college debt, but she has made the decision after doing all the research and I respect her decision. 

All you can do is hope that you have taught them plenty of good lessons over the years and they can go through their own decision making process and make the best decisions positive.  If not, unfortunately it can end up being a hard lesson learned.  Others may disagree with that, but ultimately you are raising kids to be independant and make these decisions.  My DH would say that if you planned on helping with college and they go somewhere you don't want them to, you withhold that money and make them pay for it entirely.  I don't have that same opinion, but I know others do.

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