QOTW - Prom Season

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
QOTW - Prom Season
15
Tue, 04-23-2013 - 11:55am

I'll admit I stole most of this from CM Melissa (thanks for the legwork Melissa!!) and added in a few extra questions at the end:

Here are some scary statistics related to prom season: 

-Teen traffic deaths during prom season weekend are higher than at any other time of the year.

-An American Medical Association study reported that 10% of parents believed it was appropriate and safe for underage teens to attend both prom and graduation parties where alcohol is served, if a parent is present.

-Most date rapes and sexual assaults against girls are alcohol and drug-related.

-A U.S. Department of Health and Human Services national survey reported 39% of high school senior boys considered it acceptable to force sex on a girl who is intoxicated by alcohol or high on drugs.

Read more stats along with suggestions on how to talk to your teen about prom at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/carleton-kendrick/prom-death-and-sexual-assault_b_3115940.html?utm_hp_ref=parents-teens

  • 1.  What are your rules when it comes to prom night?  Do you host a gathering, or allow your child to stay out all night?  Would it make a difference if was parent supervised, even at a hotel?  
  • 2.  Do you contribute to prom costs, if so what's your dollar limit or do you have certain parameters?
  • 3.  Does your school have a junior/senior prom, just a senior prom, and if so, do the juniors have an "equivalent" dance?

4.  Does the prom include dinner at the event or do they go out to dinner separately?

5.  Does the school require breathalyzer tests and/or purse checks upon entering the event?

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Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Sat, 04-27-2013 - 12:23am

Our parent group does a post prom. Tons of games and prides.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Sat, 04-27-2013 - 12:21am

This school has a Jr/Sr prom. Dd went last year with 5 girl friends. They had a great time. Tickets were $65 each.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Fri, 04-26-2013 - 4:20pm

Our prom is junior/senior, and most kids just pay to ride the motor coach the school rents out. Dinner is included. D was invited to an overnight party at someone's lake house, but she broke up with her BF last week and now really doesn't want to go to the after party, since it is being hosted by one of his friends. She's fine with this because she gets cranky when she doesn't get enough sleep

We pay for everything, since she is only sporadically employed as a babysitter. Our dollar limit is "whatever is reasonable and customary," which means no $400 dresses (a lot of girls at her school make a game out of finding theirs at thrift shops, but she didn't have time to hunt one down), no limos, and we make our own corsages because it's fun and way cheaper than buying them!

I don't think the school has breathalyzer tests, but I know that if anyone shows up acting drunk, they'd probably be driven home by one of the chaperones.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Fri, 04-26-2013 - 4:10pm

Sneakers are very popular among the girls at our school for prom night. Last year, lots of them just wore their Converses, way more practical for dancing. D wore ballet flats and will probably wear the same ones this year.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Fri, 04-26-2013 - 2:43pm

I am so glad your chinese online made to order site worked, ours didn't and that's why we ended up having to go buy another one last minute!  We ordered her's in early March and 10 days ago when they were supposed to be shipping it they informed us that it wouldn't be to us for at least another 2-3 weeks.

I ended up spending $205 on second dress, plus $33 for alterations

She so far is spending: $12.99 on boutinniere, $30 on shoes which she will also wear for graduation and she wore for her cheerleading banquet, about $60 on her nails, she went with acrylics and is going for a pedicure tomorrow.  She's never done acrylics and decided she wanted to try them, if she likes them she'll keep them filled for graduation also.  Not sure how much hair will be, $50 would be a fair estimate, and I assume her BF is paying for both dinner and prom tickets, tickets were $50 for the pair and they are going to a steakhouse for dinner, but it'll be less than $50 for both of them.  And she'll spend another $75 for Sunday for gas, meals and either water pack tickets or tubing rentals depending on what they do.  All in all, for the amount they are doing, I think its reasonable.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Fri, 04-26-2013 - 1:42pm

I hadn't added it up but maybe I will here:

Dress: $170 (from a Chinese online made-to-order site) + fitting (probably another $80) = $250

Shoes: $98

Jewelry & bags:  free! she's using mine that I got for a black-tie wedding two years ago.

Hair, makeup, manicure: free - she wants me to do her nails, her hair is short, and she wouldn't let a makeup artist near her face.

Prom ticket:  $70, I think.

Overnight stay at B&B on Sat night:  $80.

She'll pay for her gas to get there, her meals in the cute town, and anything she wants to do there.

So I guess we're spending about $500.  We actually spent more for our older child, whose dress with fitting cost close to $350, plus shoes, jewelry, prom ticket, limos, comedy club, and amusement park the next day.  Here's the thing, though:  if I told either of them my budget was $100, they'd have found ways to make it work.  Neither of them looked at prom as anything other than "something everyone else is doing so I have to do it too."  They would have skipped some things, or shopped elsewhere, or used their own savings to pay for it.  No big deal.

Sometimes I think parents fantasize about prom even more than the kids.  A foretaste of wedding Bridezillas and monsters-in-law. ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2001
Fri, 04-26-2013 - 8:47am

Prom is tomorrow.  While it is a big event, it's nothing like what is described in the article.  Well at least for most kids.  Most kids aren't doing the limo thing.  Some girls will spend too much (IMO) on dresses and shoes and what not, but most take pride in finding a deal.  

Afterwards most kids head to house parties that are pretty well supervised.  Of course there is some heavy partying, but since we've talked about how to avoid dagerous situations for years now, I'm not concerned.  Plus dd#1's group of friends is a pretty tame group.

  • 1.  What are your rules when it comes to prom night?  Do you host a gathering, or allow your child to stay out all night?  Would it make a difference if was parent supervised, even at a hotel? 
  •  
#1 will be going from the dinner and dance to a good friend's house.  The boys in the group will be leaving at 2am to head to one of their houses (just a couple miles away) for the rest of the night.  At about 10am the mother of the boy whose house they are going to is having breakfast for the entire group.  

These parents are ones I trust completely.  #1's friend actually ask her mother to contact the "moms who do stuff" to organize who was doing what.  I had to laugh when I got that email because it went to most of the moms of the kids and most of us have been volunteering with school stuff together for years.  I'll be sending snacks for the night, and may stop over to see the kids post dance.
Last year they all came back here and at about 2 we sent the boys out to the tent they had set up that afternoon.  I had breakfast for them in the morning.

  • 2.  Do you contribute to prom costs, if so what's your dollar limit or do you have certain parameters?

We gave #1 $200 towards clothing costs.  We'll also pay for her hair.  She was smart and chose a dress that was clearanced (it was last year's color), and is wearing shoes she already owned.  She forgoed a purse and will just give her phone, lipstick, etc., to her boyfriend to put in his pocket.  I've picked up the supplies to make his boutonniere.  After freshman homecoming when the florist wanted to charge us $25 for a rose with the world's smallest piece of ribbon tied to it, we decided to make all boutsonnieres from then on. They are super simple to make and we have fun getting creative.
  • 3.  Does your school have a junior/senior prom, just a senior prom, and if so, do the juniors have an "equivalent" dance?

It's a jr/sr prom.  

4.  Does the prom include dinner at the event or do they go out to dinner separately?

Dinner is included.  However, most kids have heavy snacks before hand and plan on a meal afterwards.  The food tends to be "meh" at best.

5.  Does the school require breathalyzer tests and/or purse checks upon entering the event?

I'm not certain.  I think so, because I know kids have been refused admittance in years past.

Avatar for turtletime
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-1998
Thu, 04-25-2013 - 6:12pm

The dress thing is tricky. I was surprised at how few places there were to shop for dresses. Our local Macy's had seriously, 4 styles in stock and that was last month when you'd thing most girls were shopping. Another Macy's had more selection but not a ton more. JC Penny had several but only a variety of color... not much variety in style.The bridal shops were outrageous. DD tried one on out of frustration that was cute, 450 dollars and already fraying. We passed. Forever 21 had some for a steal but you know, you buy from a place like that and every other girl has the exact same dress lol. We checked out the local goodwill that did have the most selection believe it or not but nothing she loved in her size.

We ended up ordering DD's online from Nordstrom (a dress none of our county shops were carrying.) It was a great price and I was surprised considering where it came from. Helps that she didn't want a long dress which I know run more. Still, gotta order fairly early when you go online so you make sure it works on your body. She opted for glittered sneakers for shoes... sooo adorable with her dress and super practical for dancing (she thinks it's gross when all the girls go barefoot lol.)

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Thu, 04-25-2013 - 4:56pm
The original dress Jordyn would have loved to have was $500, but she knew she would never get it. The second one we bought after the first snafu was still more than I wanted to pay, but at the last minute, there were slim pickings and I am hoping she can wear it at least once in college. I know in total we won't even spent half the "average" on prom, but this is a one time thing. They opted not to get a limo at all and their group is small, but they are all good kids so I don't anticipate any issues with drinking. I don't believe the seniors do any fundraising for prom, but I am not positive about that. Our tickets are a graduated price, $25 a month out, $30 2-3 weeks out, $40 1 week out and at the door to promote early ticket buying. The seniors spend more time fundraising for project graduation which is completely free the night after graduation for the entire overnight. That may be a topic for another thread, but I was astounded by the budget for project graduation, but maybe its because its such a large graduating class.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-1998
Thu, 04-25-2013 - 3:55pm

Another article on proms and spending. Seriously, I had no idea people went that far. So glad we aren't in a school where it's this big a deal. Though, I'm impressed with the school that fundraised enough to get their ticket price to 14 dollars! Dd's prom is 40 dollars this year and I know the current juniors have big plans to try and make it free for next year. I think they'd be doing pretty darn good if they managed 14!

http://www.usatoday.com/story/money/business/2013/04/24/prom-spending-on-rise-again/2110537/

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